NWR but need advice....

bells24412

So I found out on FB yesterday that my friend is having her baby by c-section next friday. First I think omg, hope the baby is okay and she is okay (her due date is 3 weeks), and second i think i can't believe she didn't tell me and I am kind of hurt...

She is a good friend of mine, and because of our schedules we haven't really been able to see or talk to each other that often...

So my question to you ladies is do i have a right to be hurt a little bit by having to find out on FB that her baby is due even though we are good friend and it didn't hurt to call me or text me?

I have been thinking about this a lot and although i am a little hurt, i can understand why she didn't call or text me since we don't talk very often. But like i said we are good friends and I think she should of told me anyways...Am i just overreacting or would you feel a little hurt that your good friend is having a baby and didn't tell you and had to find out on FB?

littlemoments324

I would overreact and feel the same way if I found something like that out through FB, especially if we're good friends...But in reality, I would have to take a step back, breathe and realize that we both have a lot of things going on in our lives right now and sometimes it is just easier to tell all through FB, text message, etc.

What you can do is send her a text or a PM to make sure she and the baby are okay.  Or even call.  Her life is going to change big time and she won't have a whole lot of time for friends at first.  (I had to figure that out the hard way when a friend had her baby...I felt neglected! ha ha)

bells24412

Thanks Littlemoments. I am glad to see that even though i was overreacting i wouldn't be alone if it happened to someone else and they would feel the same way.

I think I am going to take your advice and just give her a call and make sure everything is alright and to wish her luck. You are aboslutely right when i know things are going to change for her with the baby so I just have to be a very supportive friend.
Everyone that i am friends with have kids and we are the only ones not married and don't have kids, so sometimes it is a little hard to understand.

So again Thank you!

littlemoments324

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_nwr-but-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:03b5f3f9-7c80-4a8a-8bf6-425723331438Post:4f16516a-8c67-4230-a0de-f9c296a156b9">Re: NWR but need advice....</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks Littlemoments. I am glad to see that even though i was overreacting i wouldn't be alone if it happened to someone else and they would feel the same way. I think I am going to take your advice and just give her a call and make sure everything is alright and to wish her luck. You are aboslutely right when i know things are going to change for her with the baby so I just have to be a very supportive friend. Everyone that i am friends with have kids and we are the only ones not married and don't have kids, so sometimes it is a little hard to understand. So again Thank you! :)
Posted by bells24412[/QUOTE]

You're welcome!  =)  I know when a good friend of mine got pregnant, I was super excited...but as soon as the baby was born things changed and I wasn't really prepared for that! So it was a little rough, but learning from that, definitely good to just breathe and remember that you'll be in there position one day too haha...but I love those toddler's to death!!  (so sad we're not there to watch them grow up in person!)

ceglare4

Ditto littlemoments, as usual

LADY324

I agree with littlemoments too I would be upset too but at the same time not enough to not talk to her.  Call her up and just see if everything is ok

bstent

Pretty much the same advice as PP. She may be feeling overwhelmed and just not want to deal with having to explain the situation over and over to everyone in her life, so thought it was easier to let everyone know by facebook. I understand totally how you feel and I would be hurt too but would keep it to myself because what she's dealing with is probably bigger than hurt feelings (not meaning to belittle your feelings, just trying to put them in perspective from her point of view!). I would definitely call her up, tell her that you saw her status on facebook and just want to make sure she and baby are ok, and tell her you're there if she needs anything (meals brought over, house cleaning, errands run, or just someone to come over and drink a cup of tea with).

Madisonpenny

I'd be hurt.
I actually found out that a good friend of mine and someone I was thinking of asking as a BM had her bachelorette party through FB and then last Dec. had a baby shower on FB too! and I never got an invite.  So since then I'm been reconsidering how much fo a friend she values me as.. obviously not very much which is disappointing cause I'd do anything for her.  Heck I spent $5000 when FI and I couldnt really afford it to go to her wedding a year and a half ago.

But yea, I'd be a little hurt but not enough to not talk to her or gie her the cold shoulder. Just wish her well and visit her once the baby is born.

NikkiF731

OP it is eery how similar this sounds to my life right now. My best friend and MOH is pregnant and even before that tends to occasionally sort of go into herself and not talk to people too often. That is especially true with "health" related things (she told me once that she classifies the baby as health-related too). Knowing this, I make a point of every now and then calling and checking in with her to see what's going on in life and she does the same. Something I'd suggest is that once your friend has adjusted to being a mother, kindly and polite mention you miss talking more regulary and would love to try and figure out how to make that possible for you guys. As for the posting on FB...it could possibly be a way to tell people without dealing with "telling" them face to face which could make her feel awkward and overshare-y.

bells24412

Thanks everyone for the advice. I ended up calling her and asking her about it and everything is cool and we are both totally cool with each other. She was actually really happy I called so that made me happy.
Again thanks everyone!