New Hampshire

Single guests, bringing guests

So I'm exactly 6 mo to the day today (woo hoo!) and I'm already getting emails and facebook messages from my side's single guests asking if they can bring a guest to the wedding. 

My plan based on what I have read already was that single guests would not bring a guest, only those who are: living together, engaged, married or possibly dating for a long period of time would bring their signficant other.  Save the dates were sent out in January and speficially addressed to only the guest nothing about "and guest".

All of my single guests know each other very well from HS or College, and I plan on having them sit together during the reception so that they aren't alone or feel left out.

Thankfully the requests I've had already have said "hey it's no big deal if I can't bring a guest", but what do I do?  We can't afford extra guests, just about everyone of FI's guests are married and I have at least 16 single guests, that would increase the guest list so quickly!

How are you dealing with this issue as I'm assuming you probably have or will run across is too?

Thank you!

Re: Single guests, bringing guests

  • edited December 2011
    I think you just need to be honest with people.  Say that you really wish everyone could bring a guest, but money is really tight and it doesn't fit into the budget.  If they're really your friends, they'll get it.
    We've had a couple of these and it sucks, I know.  But it all works out.
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  • EDK2010EDK2010 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is tough, but we were in the same spot. A lot of our friends from college are single so we are having a "singles" table. Our rule was married, engaged, serious relationships only. People usually understand and we only had two people approach us about bringing significant others that weren't invited, because our numbers were lower than expected we said they could come!
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  • ericcaahericcaah member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    We were in the same position too! We invited our friends who we knew are in serious relationships (long term, living together, or engaged) with a guest. Everyone else was invited alone and will be sitting at a table with all their friends that are also attending. We had a few friends of mine that wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding, and we allowed those people to bring a date. We have received 5-6 phone calls/texts/emails in the last month from people asking if it was ok to bring their boyfriend/girlfriend. Many of these people just started dating their SO since we sent out the invitations, so we wouldn't have known they were dating. We took a look at our guest list and since we have a few no's, we said it was ok if they bring their date.

    I'd say the best thing to do is to start by not inviting them with dates. If they question it, you can just tell them that we really don't have any room in the function hall or in our budget to add more guests, but if you get a lot of declines you will let them know if there's space. If you start getting a lot of no's, call them and let them know that now you have the room to allow them to bring a guest if they want. The most important thing though is to make sure that you and FI are on the same page with this - you don't want him saying that 'yes' people can bring guests, while you're telling people 'no' they can't. Talk about it with him so you both have the same response to give guests :)

    Sorry for the long post, but I hope this is helpful :) Good luck!

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  • edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies!  Honestly I'm glad that it's hapenning 6 mo out and not on the RSVP card like I've heard a lot of people say they get.  Thankfully FI has about 5 single guests total and one is in the WP, so technically we kinda have to let him bring a date if he wants.  I talked to FI last night and told him that no one can have a guest, no kids etc. and he seems to be on the same page but you never know with guys.

    I've already told everyone our case and was honest, if we get some no's then you're fine but wait it out.  One girl who asked just met her b/f 2 months ago and doesn't keep long term partners so I'm not super worried just want to follow ettique.

    Thank you!
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with the girls above, you just need to tell them that they cannot bring a guest. You don't necessarily need to tell them why or if you feel the need to just say there isn't enough room or something. 

    And Erica brings a good point where if there are no's then maybe people can be allowed a guest or what not but then its a question of who gets to blah blah.

    At least they are asking you now and not sending back RSVP's with a +1 you didn't expect!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • ninnypooperninnypooper member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Originally we weren't allowing single guests to bring dates, but there wasn't that many (we had some single guests coming with parents, but we didn't include them), so last minute we decided to let them bring guests which ended up working for us because we received a lot more declines than anticipated and we still didn't meet our minimum.

    I ended up making our RSVP cards a little different to help avoid additional guests and it worked great (I think only one write in but we didn't realize this adulte had been in a relationship). I put each invited guest on the RSVP card and then put a cow image, a chicken image and decline next to their names. They circled the entree they wanted or decline. If they could bring a guest whose name we didn't know, that line had M_____________ for them to fill in. I believe I have an image of my RSVP card in my profile.

    People should be understanding if you tell them that unfortunately they are unable to bring a guest. You can use budget as an excuse or say that you can only invite so many before reaching the limit at your location.

    GL!
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