Should I exchange dresses or stick with what I got?

ladidalynnie

Hello everyone! I'm new to the forums but have been engaged since August 2011. I joined in order to post my concerns and I've always been a fan of The Knot website and magazines.

Anyways, my aunt and grandmother from Puerto Rico surprised me this Valentine's Day by shipping me a fully-paid dress from David's Bridal. As grateful as I am for this action, I'm not exactly "in love" with the dress, it's too loose and I honestly envisioned picking out the dress with my mother and everyone at a shop.

My dilemma is, should I exchange the dress for something more fitting my style and wants, or should I stick with what I got and do some alterations? I really don't wanna hurt their feelings since I can only imagine the time and effort they took in picking the dress and shipping, but at the same time, I pictured myself going to a boutique with them and choosing something myself. Please help and thank you in advanced!

cassiecasey2012

If I were you, I would thank them, but explain your situation to them. Explain you're thankful for their time/effort/money they put into it, but tell them it's your day, the dress doesn't fit your style, and you (technically) only get one of these days. Offer to ship the dress back, and if they say keep it and exchange it, then I would. Be as gracious as you possibly can. I don't think you're wrong in it in anyway. It's your day, and you should have the say. I think they would/should understand.

ceh789

It would be very unusual to be able to exchange a wedding dress.  That's why you see so many for sale "never worn" dresses.  David's Bridal has a no-returns/exchanges policy for things bought in store - if they bought it on the website you may be able to exchange it.

Good luck with your decision - they really put you in a wierd position, I'm sorry about that.

magnumti3

I would be honest with your family and tell them that you have always wanted to go dress shopping to find something that really suited you. If you don't, you risk always thinking about it. You're gonna want to look back on your day and love everything about it (most of it at least:)). So with the fear of hurting their feelings or making it seem awkward, I would totally do it in the nicest way possible. The dress is the funnest part for me, so I can't imagine someone deciding on my dress for me...

maribeth721

So did they just send you some random dress you had never even seen or tried on before? There is no way I could wear a dress I had never even had any input on. This is a one shot deal - I agree with PP express your gratitude but explain you already have something in mind and this is not how you envisioned your dress "shopping" experience.

matcha

Could you wear it for the reception or rehearsal dinner? That way you have the dress you love for the primary photo time (ceremony), but maybe use the dress as your dancing dress?

ladidalynnie

Wow! thanks for all the input! Yes, they did buy and ship out a wedding dress to me by surprise (at least to me, something tells me my mom has been on this too but idk). I know David's Bridal has that policy but I'm gonna try my hardest to talk to someone and hopefully they will understand this situation. Here's the dress itself they sent out for me. Like I said, it's not bad wedding dress overall, but I'm not in love with it.

Squishy'sGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_should-i-exchange-dresses-or-stick-with-what-i-got?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7269b3ab-c616-479b-b6ff-b1d4a51540dePost:e77937b4-6481-4e5d-adb4-3bae39c7505d">Re: Should I exchange dresses or stick with what I got?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow! thanks for all the input! Yes, they did buy and ship out a wedding dress to me by surprise (at least to me, something tells me my mom has been on this too but idk). I know David's Bridal has that policy but I'm gonna try my hardest to talk to someone and hopefully they will understand this situation. Here's the dress itself they sent out for me. Like I said, it's not bad wedding dress overall, but I'm not in love with it.
Posted by ladidalynnie[/QUOTE]

<div>Yikes, I can see why you're not crazy about the style. IMO it is FU-gly. However, I think you can rescue the dress. Either bring it to a Dvaid's Bridal and have them do the alterations (it should be free) or find a seamstress to fix it up. First thing I'd do is take out all the gatherings, add some lace applique or crystals. The bones of the dress is nice so you can certainly fix it up and keep everyone happy. It might also be fun to design your own dress. A seamstress can take the dress apart, add fabric or whatever and make a whole new dress.</div><div>
</div><div>I know it's "your day" and you dreamed of shopping with your mother for a dress but in the end you have to think about how badly you want that. Is it worth disappointing/pissing off two old laides who mean well? Your wedding, life and future will be filled with things that you had hoped to do one way but wound up having to do another way so from an old maried lady's perspective stuff like this just don't seem so important in the long run.</div>

Squishy'sGal

Actually, I shouldn't say it's "fugly". It is very plain though but like I said, you can make it into whatever you want.

TiffannieF

Ya...I actually think that was kind of rude of them to just guess what kind of dress you would like and send it to you.  I would call them with the up most appreciation but explain the situation.

Is this aunt and g-ma from your mom's side?  Maybe talk with your mom and she what she recommends as well.

ladidalynnie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_should-i-exchange-dresses-or-stick-with-what-i-got?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7269b3ab-c616-479b-b6ff-b1d4a51540dePost:2dc1e563-c1f7-4aa5-94a1-95ea571e786e">Re: Should I exchange dresses or stick with what I got?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Should I exchange dresses or stick with what I got? : Yikes, I can see why you're not crazy about the style. IMO it is FU-gly. However, I think you can rescue the dress. Either bring it to a Dvaid's Bridal and have them do the alterations (it should be free) or find a seamstress to fix it up. First thing I'd do is take out all the gatherings, add some lace applique or crystals. The bones of the dress is nice so you can certainly fix it up and keep everyone happy. It might also be fun to design your own dress. A seamstress can take the dress apart, add fabric or whatever and make a whole new dress. I know it's "your day" and you dreamed of shopping with your mother for a dress but in the end you have to think about how badly you want that. Is it worth disappointing/pissing off two old laides who mean well? Your wedding, life and future will be filled with things that you had hoped to do one way but wound up having to do another way so from an old maried lady's perspective stuff like this just don't seem so important in the long run.
Posted by Squishy'sGal[/QUOTE]

<div>LOL at the statement. I don't like to be mean or cross that bridezilla path but yes, I think it's more of a quinceañera dress than a wedding one. I've set my sights for mermaid silhouette dress since 2008 while I worked at a tux shop (got lots of wedding info, ideas, and goodies from events and trunk shows hahaha).</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_should-i-exchange-dresses-or-stick-with-what-i-got?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7269b3ab-c616-479b-b6ff-b1d4a51540dePost:5ededb42-9c0b-431d-8a4e-3bd4b542724a">Re: Should I exchange dresses or stick with what I got?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ya...I actually think that was kind of rude of them to just guess what kind of dress you would like and send it to you.  I would call them with the up most appreciation but explain the situation. Is this aunt and g-ma from your mom's side?  Maybe talk with your mom and she what she recommends as well.
Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]
</div></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">Yes, they're from my mother's side. They're the ones basically helping out as far as wedding-reception venue $$$ and now, the dress LOL. I think it's the whole latin culture with my side of the family because we're aiming for 2013 wedding but grandma's not thrilled of me living together with the mister out of wedlock, hence all this dilemma with the dress and all (abuela wants it done and over with ASAP *shrug*).</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;">
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Squishy'sGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_should-i-exchange-dresses-or-stick-with-what-i-got?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7269b3ab-c616-479b-b6ff-b1d4a51540dePost:f1700f68-01d9-46f5-b6e9-493720070377">Re: Should I exchange dresses or stick with what I got?</a>:
[QUOTE] I've set my sights for mermaid silhouette dress since 2008 while I worked at a tux shop[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, you have plenty of material to work with to create your own mermaide-style dress! (LOL)</div>