Seeing THE dress before the wedding

portem

Who typically is acceptable or expected to see the dress before the wedding (either in pictures, in person, or links to the manufacturer's website)?  Mother of the bride of course sees it.  Any bridesmaids present during the process of shopping for the dress sees it.  Groom does NOT.  But who else should NOT?  Who else is it typically OK if they do? Future mother in law? Wedding planner? Friends? Bridesmaids?

kristinanddan

Anyone who you want to show it to can see it.

lizstill13

I think it just depends on who you want to see it. The only person NOT allowed to see my dress (or hear about it, or have it described to him, even the smallest little detail) is my FI. My mom, sis, FMIL, FSIL, co-worker, etc. have all seen my dress. It's not a big deal.

junelley

I agree with pp, it all depends on who you don't mind seeing your dress. For me, my FI went dress shopping w/me so he knows very well what it looks like.  It did bother me when my FMIL mass emailed pictures of me in my dress to everyone in my FI's family (both sides)..  Most of the people on our guest list are family, and now almost everyone knows what my dress look like.. Not cool. 

ring_pop

There are no rules. My H went dress shopping with me. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

aerinpegadrak

Whoever you want to.  FI wants it to be a surprise, but I've shown pictures to anyone who's asked.

SHELBZ5

Junelly:  Wow!  You poor thing, sometimes I think I've got it rough with my FMIL, but that takes the cake.  I wouldn't even know how to react to that!

I'm not telling/showing anyone but my Mom and my MOH (only sister), I want everyone to be surprised

KappaUCF20

Anyone you want.  It's not like there any rules you have to follow.  My DH actually helped me choose my dress.  I had absolutely no problems with him or anyone else seeing it before the wedding.

junelley

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_seeing-dress-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:8c1d2c05-6ec3-4e93-8f90-c9a58a27972bPost:d5513686-bb4d-4a78-b280-8771c00cb42d">Re: Seeing THE dress before the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Junelly:  Wow!  You poor thing, sometimes I think I've got it rough with my FMIL, but that takes the cake. 
Posted by SHELBZ5[/QUOTE]

You have <em>no</em> idea... *sigh* 

swim1011

Anyone you want.  My BMs and fMIL and mom have all seen it, and I've got pics posted on my planning site (which, of course, my mother sent to her extended family.  Thankfully, the pics aren't that good!).  My dad didn't want to see the dress, and my FI will see it when we do pics before the ceremony.  He doesn't want to see it until then, and if he wanted to take a peek, it sat in our closet for months!

mbcdefg

I showed anyone who asked to see it, including FI.

I don't like the idea of refusing to show it to people, especially if your friends and in-laws are excited to see it. I don't see a need for that, and I'm sure it'd hurt people's feelings. Plus to me the dress is not so special that it's a sacred thing that only certain people are blessed enough to lay their eyes upon. It's my CLOTHING, not the Ark of the Covenant.

harpjen

I don't think it really matters.  My FI and I have been looking at dresses together...his opnion means a lot to me.  Just because he my dress on another girl, doesn't mean that is what it will look like on me.

cfibelkorn

My mother, MIL and bridesmaids are the only ones allowed to see I want not only my FI to be surprised but my guests too!!

But everyone is different, it just depends on how you feel about the issue. It was really important to me and my FI that he not see the dress before the ceremony...where not going to do a reveal either. But I know people who could careless or actually want their FI's help.

katanne9

It's a personal decision.

I'm only showing my mom, dad and little brother.

3 of my good friends are getting married this summer, and I have already seen them all in their dresses (without asking). Personally, i think it's a little bit of a letdown when you've already seen someone in their wedding dress. But, to each their own!

lharri12

It's completely up to you.  Personally, I want as few people as possible to see my dress before the wedding.  My mom will definitely see it, my future MIL will want to see it, and I'll probably show my sister and my best friend, but those are the only ones!  However, thanks to junelley's post, I will ABSOLUTELY make sure they all know that I want to keep it secret!!!!

katrina40

Hmmmm, so I don't know what to do??? My wedding is in August and I have been searching for a dress for what feels like forever!! I have found stuff I like, but nothing yet that I love. I feel like my MOH is loosing patience with me, and my mom really hasn't made the time to come with me. I feel like when she does make an appearance, her attitude is I don't have time to keep going to stores so pick one already. Frankly, I don't know if it would help if I just went alone! I would love for my fiancé to come and help me, I value his opinion and I know he would kindly tell me the truth, but he is adamant about NOT seeing the dress! I don't know what to do!!!

rubber_chicken

you ask this like there's a rule, and if you break the rule, Zeus and Hera will strike you with a bolt of lightning.

show whoever you want.  it doesn't matter, no one cares. i showed anyone who wanted to see, including my then fiance, but mostly, no one cared.  

there are no rules.

rubber_chicken

also, if your dress is long and white, then no one will be surprised.  wtf is there to be surprised about a wedding dress?  it's a dress.  they all look alike. unless its made of crepe paper and magenta, there's nothing surprising about it.

dramabooks

I agree with everyone, to each their own.  My Mom and FMIL went with me to the shop to try them on and help me choose.  It was a fun and important bonding day for the 3 of us, and I really appreciated both opinions.  My Bridesmaids went with me to pick it up from the store, and I tried it on for them, so they have also seen it.  I want my girls to come with me for the final fitting too so that I have 3 people who can learn to bustle the train, hopefully one of us can remember on the big day.  My Grandma also saw the dress.  I am keeping it at her house so my FI doesn't see it, and I didn't think it was fair not to let her see it, plus we are very close.  Other than that nobody else has seen it in person.  Only a few more in pictures, but not pictures of me in the dress, just the website pic.  It is very important to me that my FI doesn't see it.  I just like the tradition!   

Fystybride

I appreciate not wanting everyone in the world to see your dress, but I showed mine (bought new on ebay as a sample) to people on the hanger, so that they could get a 'taste' for it.....but not the full effect of the dress on me.  I showed it to my mom, aunt, g'ma, fsis-in laws and our kids.  I think that seeing it on a hanger is wayyy different than if I were wearing it,  but gives everyone an idea of the color, in case they want to coordinate and such.  I would have put it on, but it needs alterations anyway, so it made a convenient excuse not to.  Now it hangs, waiting patiently at Mom's.