New Hampshire

I just want to scream...

My FFIL is driving me nuts.  I can't even deal with him or my FI right now.  Cliff notes version.

My FI's family is from southern MA but I am from northern MA.  After a reception hall fell into our laps (my sister's wedding was cancelled and my mom wasnt getting her $6000 back so she convinced them to transfer it to ours) we decided to get married in southern NH...St Josephs in Salem and Castleton.  So anyway, my FFIL is a deacon and will be participating in the mass with the pastor.  We have two other priests on our guest list.  So here is the problem.  It has been a running joke that our church is so small that the four of us wont all fit.  NOW, all of a sudden one of the priests wants to co-celebrate.  There isn't enough room and I wanted small and that would make two priests and a deacon.  Then what if the other priest wants to join in, we'd be up to 3 priests and a deacon (not small in my eyes)  So my FI, who doesn't like to upset anyone has just been avoiding the subject.  Today he gets an email from his dad about proper etiquette and how if it is mass related and priests are there it is proper etiquette to have then co-celebrate.  I am so angry right now that I want to scream or cry.  They are completely ignoring my feelings and thoughts about this.  I have no problem with them celebrating  but the church is just too small.  I told my FI (who dropped this on me via text because he is at work) that I dont want to comment at this point because he is not going to like the words I choose.  Haven't heard back.  Ok vent over
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Re: I just want to scream...

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    edited December 2011
    Oh my goodness you poor poor girl!  This would have me going nuts.  This is what I would do:

    Push FI aside but have him present when you speak to FFIL
    -Very politely say:
    -This is how I always envisioned my wedding (say how you really wanted it)
    -I have been flexible up until this point (say what you have compromised on)
    -I am not comfortable with these changes (state what you don't like)
    -This is what I am willing to do (tell them every detail) and end the discussion with please accept our decision it is in fact our wedding.  We don't want to upset you but our wedding is about us not how many priests have to celebrate because "that's how its done"

    It probably sounds harsh and nobody wants to be rude or upset anyone but it really is about you and FI not them.  It is a really touchy subject where religion and church is so present in their family.  You have to be comfortable with every detail. 
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    edited December 2011
    Thank you so much.  I just needed the reassuarance. 
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