Wearing white to a wedding

DomoniqueABN

I'm actually attending a wedding, and I was told by an older person that it is not "proper" to wear white to a wedding? Why is that? Has anyone else ever heard of this rule. I wouldn't care if someone wore white to my wedding? Would you ? Feedback? Thanks

prideeinpynk

Generally speaking, it's bad etiquette to wear white to a wedding because that is reserved for the bride. I'm surprised you've never heard of it, but I suppose if you come from a different culture (I don't want to assume) it may be different.

I wouldn't freak out if someone wore white to my wedding, as long as it wasn't a full gown type of thing. But it's best to avoid it as a guest because you never know who will be the type to be upset by it. Why take the risk?

tldh

I wouldn't do it unless you are US Navy and in your dress whites.

acmj11

I have heard many times that people should not wear white to a wedding.  It is because white is reserved for the bride.  I personally would not wear white to a wedding.  I feel that there are enough colors to choose from without letting this bother me. 

Beachy730

Yeah its kinda like an unwritten rule not to wear white since its for the bride.  Actually, its probably written many places.  I personally wouldn't care, unless someone else showed up in a bridal gown to my wedding.  FI is in the Navy and we requested that the Navy friends we invited wear their dress uniforms, which happen to white in the summer.  And FMIL is wearing a white shirt to the wedding with a black skirt.  Some of my girlfriends told me to tell her she can't wear it, but I really don't care.  Nobody is going to confuse a white shirt and black skirt for a wedding gown, just like nobody would confuse the Navy dress whites for it. 

DomoniqueABN

Interesting. I'm not a wedding buff, I've been a tomboy for most of my life. I'm new to the wedding realm. Thanks for the feedback!

arv266

What I find amazing, is that this "quasi tradition" has held on so long... the concept behind not wearing what was so that a guest wearing white would not be confused for the bride.  Really?  Unless a guest comes in a full blown wedding gown, could you really confuse a woman wearing a white dress for the bride?  I wouldnt care if a guest wore white, but I have read several post on the subject, and there are brides who do feel that the color white is reserved soley for the bride....  I am now wondering if this also applies to the color ivory? 

Ladies, what is the ruling for the color ivory?  Is it also a wedding no-no? 

skyler1108

Wearing white to a wedding can be seen as upstaging the bride. One should never upstage a bride on her wedding day so I think it is best to stay away from white when it comes to attending a wedding.

dizzinea

there is also the no red/neon bright color unwritten rule. or at least I've heard that,

jennylove810

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_wearing-white-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:9e3ac7dc-2ec7-4eab-a90c-b8847f3f1fa0Post:2cb53412-1d96-4564-b8a4-a5e5e8aacfee">Re: Wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]there is also the no red/neon bright color unwritten rule. or at least I've heard that,
Posted by dizzinea[/QUOTE]

I haven't heard that rule.  I don't see anything wrong with red.  I wouldn't wear neon brights because they're just ugly colors, but if someone REALLLLLLY wanted to wear bright lime green, meh.

niksterdoodle88

I've heard of the white. I wouldn't freak out if someone wore a white  dress as long as it had some other color in it. But I'm also pretty laid back about stuff like that. I have not heard about the red/neon rule though.

lei7

I probably wouldn't notice - or care - if someone wore white to my wedding, but I would never, ever wear white (or even a dress with a white background) to someone else's wedding. That's just rude, IMO.

phut_action

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_wearing-white-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:9e3ac7dc-2ec7-4eab-a90c-b8847f3f1fa0Post:2cb53412-1d96-4564-b8a4-a5e5e8aacfee">Re: Wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]there is also the no red/neon bright color unwritten rule. or at least I've heard that,
Posted by dizzinea[/QUOTE]

<div>I think someone just told you that because neons are ugly.</div><div>
</div><div>Red is definitely ok. Back in the day red was kinda scandalous, a color reserved for prositutes or "ladies of the night", but thts definitely not the case anymore. In fact i was just in a wedding and our bridesmaids dresses were red. \</div><div>
</div><div>Whoever told you that may have been thinking of funerals, where bright colors and patterns are considered more inappropriate.</div><div>
</div><div>White is a no-no. Unless of course, its a non-traditional wedding and the bride isn't wearing white. Then its fair game.</div>

mrstfuture

I also agree that white should be reserved for the bride.  I ordered my flower girl dresses in the same color of the  bridesmaids because I don't want a mini-me.  I think people have so many colors to choose from when getting dressed for a wedding.  White is traditionally reserved for the bride's attire.

finallytime37

Traditionally, how you dress is meant to compliment the bride, the groom and the entire event.  As a guest you should dress to look nice and be comfortable.  The major issue with choosing the color of your outfit is making sure that you are understated - there is no need to draw attention to yourself.  The reason red or bright/neon colors are often discouraged is the way the colors draw your eye.  If you look at a wedding picture - you want to make sure the eye isn't drawn to you.  That's some of the reasoning behind color choices...

lebel_melanie

Where I am from, the older generation does say that wearing red at a wedding means that the couple will fight a lot.  I believe it is only the roman catholics who have that sort of superstition, and it is certainly not common anymore.  I wouldn't worry about this one.

I would NEVER wear white or ivory at a wedding unless... you are a navy officer (obvious), there is a lot of colorful patterns on your dress, it is only part of your outfit that is white (I really don't see the problem with a white shirt and a medium or dark color skirt).  Maybe the bride won't mind too much, but her grandma will.

Abs211981

Agree with everyone.  It never ceases to amaze me the number of girls/women who wear white to weddings

And I'm sorry, but "no one will confuse them for the bride" doesn't cut it for me.  It's rude

ks3pink

I wouldn't freak but I'd be a little miffed.  If it was family i'd be slightly pissed.  If it was someone I knew didn't care for me (like my fiance's sister) I probably say something after the fact, no need to piss everyone off the day of and ruin the day.

zappatini

I'm really surprised that everyone finds it so rude-especially when brides are starting to NOT wear white.  I have actually worn white to two weddings.  In both cases they were white pant suits with a colored camisole underneath.  Both weddings were of your standard American culture.  They were both outside and it was rather cool both days so I figured I would wear a suit.  I was told a while back that it didn't matter anymore.  It went out with the idea that you can't wear red to a wedding.  But I guess it depends on the person. What someone wears will likely not impact my day or opinion of that person either way.  I've also been to weddings where the bridesmaid were in white and mothers of the bride/groom were wearing white. They looked beautiful and I didn't think it took away from anyone or anything.  Just my opinion.  

lemken

I think this tradition is starting to fade a little - I honestly would not care if someone wore white to my wedding... as long as it's not a wedding type of gown. I had actually considered wearing blue as my wedding dress and all of my bridesmaids wearing white - but alas, I'm not a blue girl.

deb84

Personally I feel it depends on the wedding.  A traditional, formal wedding I would vote it doesn't really matter as long as it isnt a super fancy all white dress...the bride will be wearing a dress that will stand out enough...however if it is a more casual wedding where the bride herself might be wearing a pretty informal dress I think it is more of a problem.  I am having an outdoor wedding and my dress and the bridesmaids dresses will be fairly informal...I would be a little upset if a guest showed up dressed in pretty much the same thing as me.  But since it is an outdoor wedding I assume people will know it is more casual and not outdress me or my wedding party. 

Sloane99

I don't think I'd care if someone wore white to my wedding, like the PP assuming this isn't an actual white wedding gown I don't think there would be any confusion, plus it's a small wedding so I'm pretty sure everyone's going to know that I'm the bride anyways.

I do think it's rude in general though. I'm not a "it's my special day" kind of bride, but a wedding really is for the bride and groom to shine and wearing a colour traditionally reserved for the bride seems a bit off-putting to me. Although I guess at formal events, other men wear tuxes and the groom doesn't seem to have the same standards.

prideeinpynk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_wearing-white-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:9e3ac7dc-2ec7-4eab-a90c-b8847f3f1fa0Post:50e19215-b7e2-40a6-9e90-7de0135c8ba0">Re: Wearing white to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm really surprised that everyone finds it so rude-especially when brides are starting to NOT wear white.  I have actually worn white to two weddings.  In both cases they were white pant suits with a colored camisole underneath.  Both weddings were of your standard American culture.  They were both outside and it was rather cool both days so I figured I would wear a suit.  I was told a while back that it didn't matter anymore.  It went out with the idea that you can't wear red to a wedding.  But I guess it depends on the person. What someone wears will likely not impact my day or opinion of that person either way.  I've also been to weddings where the bridesmaid were in white and mothers of the bride/groom were wearing white. They looked beautiful and I didn't think it took away from anyone or anything.  Just my opinion.  
Posted by zappatini[/QUOTE]

Just FYI - just because you did it, doesn't mean you didn't get snarky comments behind your back.