Married Ladies Advice

FireDancer04

Married Ladies Post Your Advice!

cg-pm52111

1.  The things you worry about the most never happen.  It's so true.  I was so worried about people not showing up and stifling us with the bill, so to speak, and that didn't happen.  Just goes to show we often worry about things that aren't all that important.

2.  Make sure you remove all hair ties from your wrist on your wedding day.  Otherwise, they will be in in EVERY one of your pro photos.  Haha!

3.  You'll get to a point where you'll find that everything is done that you're going to get done and some of the stuff you might have wanted to do didn't happen.  It's ok.  Let it go and relax.

4.  You need to plan for the number of people you're inviting.  They say aprox. 20% of people won't come, but that may not be the case for you, so plan accordingly.  We only had 10% of our guests RSVP no and as a result, there weren't enough chairs in the chapel.

5.  Have an opinion.  Having an opinion does not make you a bridezilla.  However, not having an opinion can lead to your day being taken over by the opinions of family and friends.  It's your day, so make it what you want.

6.  Finally, choose your battles.  There will be certain things that others really want you to do.  While it is your day, it doesn't hurt to be considerate.  Sometimes giving in a little bit will make your day so much more enjoyable to everyone!

7.  Remember to enjoy your day!  You've worked hard, so sit back and relax!  It's gong to be amazing no matter what.  And what really counts is that your marriage is strong, not how extravagant the wedding was.

Hope some of you find this helpful!

dls.1215

1. Plan for extra time!  I was 15 minutes late to my own wedding....oops!  But seriously,  build in time for the ooops's of the day.  

2.  If you can, take sometime to spend with any OOT guests even if its just taking an extra day before the wedding.  I spent a day with my dad and sister who live far away and it was one of the best days of the week!

3.  Tell your mother that if she is going to start crying before the ceremony even starts to go away!  Haha just kidding, but I was holding it together just fine til my mom came to give me a hug in the church doorway and she started crying then I started crying before I even stepped on the aisle!  It started a chain reaction and everyone was losing it!  I had to turn around and face the corner and get a hold of myself for a few moments.

4.  I really enjoyed having a day between the wedding and the honeymoon...There are good reasons for both ways, but we got married Saturday and left Monday and it was just enough time to recover and say goodbye to our OOT families before leaving for a week.  

Hmmm I know there is more but I can't think of it...I'll add a I think of it!

chica7484

1. Don't drink a lot the night before. Don't drink a lot during your wedding day. Not that I did any of these (seriously!), but I think being hungover would have sucked. And no one likes a trashed bride. Trashed = trashy.

2. You can't control the weather. I stalked weather.com like crazy. I really just was hoping for sun during our outdoor cocktail hour. It's the last thing you need to be stressed about before your wedding.

3. Remember that this day is also about bringing your families together. They have a lot invested in the day (emotionally and perhaps financially), so don't blow off their advice and/or opinions. You don't have to let everyone walk all over you, but if someone suggests something you don't like, "Thanks for the idea! We're considering a lot of different options, so we'll take it into consideration!" is your response.

4. Greet your guests. Many have traveled from far and wide to join you and your FI on one of the most important days of your lives. Don't cop the, "well, if my guests want to see me, I'll be out on the dance floor all night!" attitude. You won't be on the dance floor. I danced for maybe 40 minutes because I was being pulled in about 74918798 different directions and our photographer pulled us to take more pictures at sunset. Do a receiving line and/or table visits. Absolute must.

5. Prepare for 100% positive responses.

6. No one will notice or know if something goes wrong or isn't done. We didn't do favors and I thought I was the worst bride ever. You know what? No one said anything. And if they thought I was sh*tty, well, whatever. They got free food and booze and danced the night away. Would a cookie really have made it that much better?

7. Breathe. Remember that the only thing (yes, really, the only thing) that matters is that the man (or woman, yeah NH!) you love will be waiting for you at the end of the aisle. You'll commit your lives to one another in front of the most important people in your lives. This is only the beginning. 

EDIT!: One more thing. Remember that your FILs raised their son (or daughter) to be the man (or woman) of your dreams. Cut them some slack and try to refrain from the bashing (to your family, friends, etc). I know not everyone is going to have a great relationship with their in-laws, but unless they have committed some jaw-dropping offense, please remember who they raised. You have to deal with these people for a very long time. Don't spoil it by arguing over FMIL's dress (she can wear offwhite - it won't reflect poorly on you).

Megglez2008

Enjoy being engaged and all of the planning that you two will do. Make sure you take time for yourselves, and for each other. Go on little date nights or cook dinner together. At one point when I was getting really stressed we talked about making a dinner together and having some wine. It ended up turning into us ordering chinese food and sushi, having wine and watching tv and it was wonderful. :-)

If people offer to help pay for your wedding, make sure you're willing to let them make decisions about the wedding. If they give money, they have a say in how it turns out. My parents gave us a very generous amount of money for our reception, and they had final say in what food we chose because of it. Luckily, we were all on the same page and all wanted the same stuff!

Michael's is your friend. If you haven't signed up for the online coupons, do so now. Buy things along the way when they are on sale. We made our photo card box, but didn't assemble it until the week of. But we bought the frames for it when they were on sale for $5 each, and the other materials when we could get them on sale too. I think the people in Michael's knew my name by the time we got married because I was in there so much!

DIY projects. If you want to do some, make a list of what you'd like to do, and try to get some done sooner rather than later. DH made our cardbox himself, and it came out great, but he left the lid until the afternoon we needed to bring it to the reception venue. The fabric wouldn't lay right so we had to bring the box sans lid and redo it that night. If you're getting down to the wire and you have projects you'd like to do but don't need, either ask someone if they'll help you, or scratch them.

Definitely have backup shoes! I got smaller heels so I would be comfortable, but my feet were killing me by the time the ceremony was over. After having pictures taken for an hour and a half, DH and I got to the cocktail hour room set aside for just us, and I got to take them off. Putting them back on for the entrance, first dance and parent dances was killer. I ended up going barefoot the rest of the night since my flip flops were in the car. My feet were so happy to be out of those shoes!

Don't sweat the small stuff. If something goes wrong close to or on your wedding day, don't worry about it and move on. I had bought 23 organza overlays for our tables and the week before we opened all the packages and went to iron them. I tested one in our washer and dryer in our apartment and it came out wrinkle free. My dad was great and did the rest at their house, but they came out with melty looking areas. I had a vision for months of how the room would look, and had a huge panic attack. By the next day I had come to terms with the fact that we'd just have to use white table clothes and it would be fine. They were able to use the overlays afterall, but I was okay with it either way. Our godmothers didn't get their flowers, my MIL got the wrong flowers and our centerpieces weren't what I had asked for, but everything still looked great and no one knew but us.

Make sure you talk with your photographer beforehand about what pictures are the most important to you. And make sure someone else (parents, coordinator, MOH) has a copy of which photos you want in case your photographer forgets. Our photographer emailed us the night before the wedding saying that our information with all of our must take photos had been ruined by a dog. We resent her an itinerary, but forgot a lot of our must takes. (It was 11pm the night before.) We also realized after that some of the pictures we wanted (with our grandparents) never got taken. I'm pretty upset that I won't have these photos to keep and show my children.

Have fun and enjoy yourselves! Try to stay grounded and don't become a bridezilla. Talk to your FI if you're stressed about something. My DH would ask for the last two weeks before the wedding, several times a day "Okay, what level are you right now?" about my stress level. It helped him know when I needed help or when to leave me to myself for a bit, or when I needed a hug and a kiss.

Whatever you do, don't lose track of why you're doing this. You love your FI and he loves you. As long as you're married at the end of the day, that's all that really matters. Congratulations and have fun planning!

Arez16

1. Plan, plan, plan, and try not to be stressed when it comes closer. I was planning for 2.5 years, but the week before my Mother was making the pew bows. She wanted to do them, she put them off till then, it made me wicked stressed. Get everything done the week before the big day so you can be stress free!

2. Research, read reviews, look at lots of their work, and never settle when it comes to videographer, photographer, and florist. While I loved all my vendors and am happy with their products, I wish I didn't go as cheap as I did on some, but at the same time, I'm still happy with the result. Be very sure as you can't change the final product and it really is an investment.

3. Don't let people tell you what to do. It's YOUR (and FI's) wedding. Do what you want, but know that you might have to give in in certain situations.

4. DIY Projects. They really are awesome. But if choosing to do them, start them ahead of time. Before you think you need to. It might be a LOT harder than you think and you don't want to stress about it. And you might make a lot of mistakes and have to do it all over again the night before the RD (Not fun).

5. Have no expectations when it comes to RSVPs. There is no magical formula, there is no guarantee. Invite only as many people as you can accommodate. You may get, 100%, 75%, or even only 50% coming to your wedding. They are the ones who care and as long as the people you want to be there are, it doesn't matter if your great aunt who begged to be invited isn't coming. 

6. Some people will not show up the day of the wedding. Do not let this bother you the day of the wedding. If you do take note, do just that and let it go. 

7. Don't be afraid to direct your wedding coordinator. Sometimes during the reception I really just wanted to push her out of the way as she stood in the most abnormal aka inconvenient spots. It's your wedding, you are paying them, just don't be too rude.

8. Be prepared for bad weather. Have a back up place for pictures in case you can't go outdoors. Be prepared to suffer through bad weather to get some good shots or outside shots. In the end its usually worth it.

9. Be sure to get all the pictures you want. It doesn't matter if it will make you a few minutes late to something. Its your wedding, they will wait for you. You don't want to have regrets later.

10. Relax and just enjoy the reception. You worked hard for it! 

11. I highly recommend a receiving line so you don't have to visit every table. I only visited a few people during the reception that weren't at the ceremony. I spent majority of the time on the dance floor or taking pictures. Be prepared for lots of people to come up to you and ask to take pictures.

weddingcraze

If something is not completed at least 3 days before the wedding, then it isn't that important.  No one will notice the teeny tiny details, only you.

Take plenty of moments during the day to let it all sink in.  Look around during your reception and see all of the people who love you and came out to share your special day with you.  There will be very few times in your life when you will feel this way!