Suits vs Tux

Danadanern

We are having our brothers and brother in law act as ushers for our wedding, not the groomsmen. I want the ushers to wear suits, as they are not part of the wedding party. He wants them in tuxs. Problem is I already told my brothers they could wear suits, then he decided he wanted them in a tux. Now we are fighting over the ushers outfits instead of focusing on other important issues. Any thoughts??

mbcdefg

I would talk to your brothers and ask what THEY feel comfortable doing, plus what their budget is. Take a vote and leave it up to them. I think that's fair, because they're the ones who would have to wear the outfits (and possibly shell out the money for them if you decide to rent tuxes).

Did you and FI make the suit decision together and then FI changed his mind, or did you go ahead and tell the guys to wear suits without asking your FI's opinion?

berrytr

mbcdefg asks good questions and makes good points.  If you and FI collectively decide upon the attire, there shouldn't be a problem.

ieke85

Since you already told them about the suits, I would definitely talk to your brothers and see what they're comfortable with. It seems like that's the real issue here - that they've already been told one thing, so this would be asking them for more. If they're okay with that, then I don't think it's important enough to argue much more about it.

Case in point: I really wanted everyone in suits, but FI wanted everyone in tuxes. We argued about it for months before I finally threw up my hands and said, you know what? They're your groomsmen. I'll do my thing, you do yours. We're still getting married anyway!

So you have to ask yourself: are you worried because you're changing on the ushers, or are you worried because you still want them in suits?

plessjm

Have a little dinner party invite the ushers ahve you and FI there and let em know. That way you are not telling hey my guy decided he wants you in tuxes. start the conversation out like... "we were thinking about teh attire and FI thinks you will look more distinquished and part of the WP if you all wear tuxes." I know i told you suits but now i am thinking FI idea is good what do you think???"

Danadanern

I asked my FI if he cared if they wore suits and he said he didn't care. So I told my brothers they could wear suits. Then a week or so later his mom announced that she told his brother in law he was to wear a tux cause it would look better in pictures. So now he wants them in tuxs. It is also that his brother in law does not want to pay for a suit but would rather rent a tux.