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Vent: Sighhhh (kind of long)

Ok a little background before I begin my rant.  My FI and I are getting married in this tiny church in Salem, NH.  I actually wanted a destination wedding or to at least get married outside.  However, I quickly learned that wasn't an option.  My FI wanted a church wedding since his father is an ordained Catholic deacon.  Well, we opted for a small church because I didn't want a huge wedding.  We also deicded that have his father do the marriage ceremony and co-celebrate with the pastor of our church.  Everythig was going fine until......

Our guest list has two other priests on it from the church where his father is a deacon in southern MA.  We have always joked that the alter is so small that we are wondering how two celebrants will fit.  Anyway, on to my vent.  Yesterday, we got an email from his dad asking us to check with the pastor to see if it would be a problem if the other priests also participates in the mass, never asking if we wanted this or not.  I don't want it.  I sound horrible saying that I don't want another priest to help celebrate but when it comes to the ceremony, I already feel as though it is way more than I wanted.  I wanted something simple....outside.  Now I have a church cereomy with a priest, a deacon, and now possibly another priest.  Where are they all going to fit on this alter?  I forgot to mention that the priest from MA is a little stuck in his ways and very critical of the way the mass is supposed to be and our pastor is very laid back.  I can see issues arising with one overstepping.  My FI doesn't want to upset anyone so he said he will ask.  Arghhh....my other concern is what if the other invited priest wants to celebrate too?  How can we leave him out if we included the other?  I just don't know what to do
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Re: Vent: Sighhhh (kind of long)

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    FireDancer04FireDancer04 member
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    edited December 2011
    First I would again to explain to your FI how you feel about this and that since his father will be presiding over the ceremony that he's the one that needs to talk to him.

    I think you really need to talk to your FI and both of you need to talk over what you want for your ceremony, and that you both need to compromise on the ceremony.  

    Are the other priests that are invited from FI side or yours? 

    Good luck with everything. I know it's hard dealing with family politics, not to mention religious politics. 
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    edited December 2011
    All priests involved are from FI's side.  I am going to talk to him AGAIN tonight
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    edited December 2011
    oh man, this is tough.  so sorry you have to deal with this!  i don't really have advice, other than talk to your fiance again, but i am sending you empathy and positive thoughts!  good luck!
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the other ladies.  You need to come up with a plan with FI and both of you need to stick to it.  And as always, compromise is key.  Would there be a way to have the priests participate without having them stand up front the whole time?  Could they just get up to lead one prayer or something?  Whatever you come up with, I think you FI needs to communicate your wishes as a couple to his father.
    Good luck!
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