black & white attire required!

natalia1102

is it tacky to ask our guests to join us in our black & white attire? we are having a small outside ceremony followed by an elegant and classy luncheon. we really dnt want to offend anyone but we feel the pics would be awesome. we are inviting our immediate fam & kno that this would be one way to have the family pics we've always wanted... i would love ur feed back ~ HELP!

Aimee8314

As a guest, I could see it going one of two ways, 1) it's kind of obnoxious (ie Bridezilla-y) to dictate every detail - down to the clothes on your guests.  but 2) then you don't have to worry about what to wear.  I think you'll jus thave to gauge it based on your crowd.

mbcdefg

You can't dictate anyone's attire outside of your bridal party - that's your bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, ring bearer and ushers. So you can't control the attire of your parents, grandparents, readers and guests.

I know you're not mandating it, but even suggesting it can put pressure on people to go out and buy something new if they don't already have a black and white outfit at home. Or, they may have been looking forward to wearing something in particular and now have to ditch it to follow your black-and-white rules.

No, don't ask that people wear specific colors. Let them wear what they want. If you want a black and white bridal party, by all means put them in black and white.

brilibby4

I think it is over doing it a bit to really tell your guests what to wear.  However, I'm sure everyone owns something black or white. 

ljczec

I don't think it's going overboard.  Lots of people have black and white themed parties, why not a wedding?  Everyone has SOME black clothes!  I would think it was cool if I was invited to a black and white wedding!

gottahavashorti

It would be rude to your guests to request specific attire.

natalia1102

thank u everyone for ur feedback. i kind of assumed most ppl would not be a big fan of the idea, i thought about putting a little note on the invite asking ppl to join in the theme of the wedding and to wear black & white but make note that its not required...

and im no way shape or form a bridezilla and i wouldnt want anyone to get that impression so i really appreciate the honesty!

frenchy730

Ettiquite wise, it is rude to ask your guests to only wear black and white.  But I don't see anything wrong with putting a note on your website saying something like, "feel free to join in the fun and dress for our black and white theme!"

PS you could always print some b&w photos... then it will look like people are wearing black, white, and grey.

AmandaK2010

It also depends on the size of your wedding.  If it is just a small group of family and friends, that would probably be ok.  However, if it is a larger group, there are bound to be a few people who either feel uncomfortable so don't come or are the awkward ones who show up in pink!

natalia1102

its small... 50 ppl. just our parents, brothers, sisters, thier spouses, and thier kids

sabatron

Skip it. Your guests, more likely than not, don't want to be told what to wear, even if it is whimsical and optional. They'll feel weird either way.

jaurydawn

Its your wedding! do what YOU want! and if you are having a black tie wedding, then your family proably already knows to dress to impress!

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_black-white-attire-required?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:cb0d7e32-e142-43c9-b126-b8645324b100Post:620c1331-cce8-4954-9e6f-d1bd0fe02943">Re: black & white attire required!</a>:
[QUOTE]Its your wedding! do what YOU want! and if you are having a black tie wedding, then your family proably already knows to dress to impress!
Posted by jaurydawn[/QUOTE]

This is terrible advice.  Just because it is OMG MY WEDDING !!!1111!!! doesn't give me the right to throw ettiquette out the window.  It's rude to tell anyone outside of the WP what to wear.  They are adults and can dress themselves appropriately.

Ditto PP about having some black and white photos - you'd get the same effect without the mandates.

Also, she is not having a black tie affair, she's having an afternoon luncheon, BIG difference.

Edit:  I didn't think the OP was being a bridezilla by asking the question (the opposite actually, she seemed to take the advice very well.)  But brides who think they can get whatever they want because they are the bride, irritate me to no end.

aerinpegadrak

We thought about doing this, but most people are uncomfortable wearing white to a wedding, so your black-and-white wedding will be a black wedding. 

It's really not a good idea.

arv266

I really dont see this as being rude, its no different than "black tie requested" for a formal wedding. 

mariadperezg

I completely agree with arv266! besides, everyone has something black and/or white, and it's a small wedding so i think it's perfectly OK. I personally love theme parties but even for those who don't, b&w is not that much to ask. I say go for it!

Knittibell

Will you be upset if another woman shows up in a white dress? Black and White is usually very formal, as well- I haven't seen it for a luncheon before, so you may have the odd person uncomfortably wearing a tux... Let people wear what they want, and have immediate family in black and white- that way the family pics will be coordinated and you won't put anyone out. I also think it's fine as someone else said to write: "feel free to join in the fun and dress for our black and white theme!"

I dig themes at weddings, and would be excited to get a note like that w/ an invite-
but beware that another woman may be wearing white that day!

natalia1102

thank u everyone ~ for the feedback.. i really dnt want to offend ppl. i would think it was neat to get a little note like that  ~ but i wear black to weddings. some ppl dnt, and i can respect that. i think im just gonna let our immediate fam on the info and if they would like to take part then they are more then welcome too. i cant wait