I feel like a PW...Gift Q - help!

chica7484

FI's grandmother just called to tell me that a few months ago she had purchased sterling silver flatware for us when Oneida was going out in Kittery.

We registered for flatware that really matches our china. She said, "If you don't want it, just say, 'Nana, we like what we have,'" but knowing her, if we don't take it, she'll be insulted.

FI said he didn't know how to deal with it - he didn't know what the etiquette was. It's a generous gift, but we really love the place setting we picked out. Should we wait and see what it looks like?  WWYD?

Gabs71109

I would take the silver and use it for special occasions. We had friends who registered for silver but got only a few pieces because it is so expensive. If your flatware is "reasonably priced" you are sure to get it. I would want to keep the second set. It could be something you hand down to your own children someday. JMO.

If you REALLY don't want it I would have FI deal with it. I always have DH handle such things with his side of the family.

I will say that I think older folks are much more lax when it comes to gifts. If she said be honest, be honest. She would much rather you have something you want. Of course, maybe she should have thought of that before purchasing something that probably can't be returned . . .

chica7484

FI is definitely dealing with this one. His family, he deals. I just don't want to seem ungrateful, but after both families made us register (something I didn't really want/like), I don't feel like I'm too out of line. We have everyday flatware on our registry, and the nicer flatware that matches our china pattern almost perfectly. I like the idea of having a second set to hand down to children.

cg-pm52111

That's a very generous gift indeed!  I think that since she asked for your honesty, I would tell her that you registered for silverware that matches your china, but would be willing to see if what she purchased goes with your china and then you will make a decision.  It's worth a shot because like Gabs said, you may not get a lot of what you registered for.

Steffy3217

Personally I didn't register for china (we would NEVER use it, we're more casual even with special events) so I don't know the whole matching china and flatware.

BUT, honestly, I don't think it's something you need to worry about right now.  She obviously can't return it, and unless she's giving it to you for Christmas/Hannukahh, you're not going to even see what she got you for 6 months. And like Gabs said, you may not end up with any flatware or any of the china you registered for. So matching may not be a big deal, unless you're planning on buying your whole china set and flatware after the wedding no matter what.

JMO, but I would trust Gma's taste, her generation was more of the china generation anyway. When the time comes and you really don't want to use it, put it aside and deal with it then.

GL

chica7484

You're right...It's not really that big of a deal. I guess the thing that really bothers me about the whole thing is that if people were so adamant we register, then why go off registry? I didn't want to register anyways, and now I'm dealing with registry crap. 

Update: We're going to see it at Christmas. If we like it, we'll take it off our everyday flatware (apparently it's more of an everyday flatware). If we don't, we'll use it as a second set. FI's mom to the rescue. 

Every day I realize the wedding is less and less about Sean and I, and more and more about pleasing and accommodating people in our families. My family has been no peach either. Is it too late for Vegas?