My Brother is a Marine... Dress Blues??

sen5186

Hi all,

So, here's the deal.  I'm getting married in less than 5 weeks.  My brother is a Marine, and at first we weren't expecting him at the wedding due to him being stationed in the Pacific.  However, he suprised everyone by making the arrangements to be there, so now we have some decisions to make.

He keeps on saying, as the wonderful brother he is, that he will wear whatever we want him to wear, so my fiance and I had decided, after talking to my parents, that he would wear what the other groomsmen were wearing, and then if he wanted, he could change into his dress blues after formal pictures were taken.

Now, mom changed her mind and wants him to wear the blues the whole day.  My issue with that is that it will be a distraction from the bride and groom both during the ceremony and in pictures that follow.  We both love my brother and are both extremely proud of what he does, but - this is our day, and have been told by MANY MANY people that we should not do anything that will take away the focus from us.

Thought?

future-mrs

Wow.  Have your brother wear his dress blues...you should be more proud of what he's done for our country than worrying about him out-doing you on your "special day"

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_brother-marine-dress-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:d66f62f7-74d3-4a06-bb79-1244d94b22abPost:16e9a53d-7514-4bd7-939a-9d2417a40768">My Brother is a Marine... Dress Blues??</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi all, So, here's the deal.  I'm getting married in less than 5 weeks.  My brother is a Marine, and at first we weren't expecting him at the wedding due to him being stationed in the Pacific.  However, he suprised everyone by making the arrangements to be there, so now we have some decisions to make. He keeps on saying, as the wonderful brother he is, that he will wear whatever we want him to wear, so my fiance and I had decided, after talking to my parents, that he would wear what the other groomsmen were wearing, and then if he wanted, he could change into his dress blues after formal pictures were taken. Now, mom changed her mind and wants him to wear the blues the whole day.  <strong>My issue with that is that it will be a distraction from the bride and groom</strong> both during the ceremony and in pictures that follow.  We both love my brother and are both extremely proud of what he does, but -<strong> this is our day, and have been told by MANY MANY people that we should not do anything that will take away the focus from us.</strong> Thought?
Posted by sen5186[/QUOTE]

The bolded parts made me die inside. Wow. You need to step back and realize that having a family member in the military is something you should be extremely proud of. The sacrifices that he's made for our freedom and safety and the honor that it is to be able to wear his dress blues should trump your need to be the center of attention. You are the bride. I promise that the focus will be on you the entire day no matter what your brother is wearing.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_brother-marine-dress-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d66f62f7-74d3-4a06-bb79-1244d94b22abPost:16e9a53d-7514-4bd7-939a-9d2417a40768">My Brother is a Marine... Dress Blues??</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi all, So, here's the deal.  I'm getting married in less than 5 weeks.  My brother is a Marine, and at first we weren't expecting him at the wedding due to him being stationed in the Pacific.  However, he suprised everyone by making the arrangements to be there, so now we have some decisions to make. He keeps on saying, as the wonderful brother he is, that he will wear whatever we want him to wear, so my fiance and I had decided, after talking to my parents, that he would wear what the other groomsmen were wearing, and then if he wanted, he could change into his dress blues after formal pictures were taken. Now, mom changed her mind and wants him to wear the blues the whole day.  My issue with that is that it will be a distraction from the bride and groom both during the ceremony and in pictures that follow.  We both love my brother and are both extremely proud of what he does, but - this is our day, and have been told by MANY MANY people that we should not do anything that will take away the focus from us. Thought?
Posted by sen5186[/QUOTE]

My thought is that you're being ridiculous. Let him wear his uniform. It's something to be proud of.

psichick

so your BROTHER in his dress blues from the MARINES is going to upstage the bride? 

first off, that's not going to happen. you're the bride you will get all the attention, just as you so desire. 

second, he's a freaking MARINE. be proud of that and let him be proud of that. besides, a marine in dress blues looks awesome, i'm such a sucker for them lol

StephHalm

I agree with everyone else. YOU ARE THE BRIDE. YOUR FI IS THE GROOM. PEOPLE ARE THERE TO SEE YOU GET MARRIED. You invited them because you love and care about them, and vice versa. They will not be distracted by what your brother is wearing. Nobody ever pays attention to what ANYONE is wearing with the exception of the brides dress. This is your day, but that doesn't mean you should be disrespectful to your brother and what he wears. Your mom is proud of him. You should be too.

mbcdefg

How much attention do you possibly need on a day that's already all about you? Cripes.

sarah0725

Also, you're okay with him wearing them during the reception, but you think they'd be a distraction during the ceremony?!? "Hm, there seems to be something going on up there on the altar involving some chick in a puffy white dress, but that's not important. Lookit the guy in the dress blues!"

I promise that everyone will be looking at you during your ceremony, unless your family is a bunch of squirrels with ADD, in which case, I would make sure there are no trees with acorns outside the church windows.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_brother-marine-dress-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d66f62f7-74d3-4a06-bb79-1244d94b22abPost:16e9a53d-7514-4bd7-939a-9d2417a40768">My Brother is a Marine... Dress Blues??</a>:
[QUOTE] My issue with that is that it will be a distraction from the bride and groom both during the ceremony and in pictures that follow. 
Posted by sen5186[/QUOTE]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  ::gasp::  BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh wait, you're serious?

tidetravel

Please point out the Bride and Groom:





Damn, that was hard.

[Deleted User]

Tide, I got it wrong at first. I guessed the dude on the far right because his shirt is white. Then I realized I was being silly because no photographer would have put the bride on the far right. Brides belong in the middle. Good thing your photographer knew the rules.

lovetothinkpink

Wow! That is one way to be an attention whore.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_brother-marine-dress-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d66f62f7-74d3-4a06-bb79-1244d94b22abPost:5659d397-9b2c-455d-b8ee-fe49c190b1e1">Re: My Brother is a Marine... Dress Blues??</a>:
[QUOTE]Tide, I got it wrong at first. I guessed the dude on the far right because his shirt is white. Then I realized I was being silly because no photographer would have put the bride on the far right. Brides belong in the middle. Good thing your photographer knew the rules.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
Crap!  I totally need to have a talk with Ronnie.  He should have known better than to wear white ON MY DAY!!!!!!

forrma7

well, i think it shows how wonderful a person he is by saying that he would wear whatever you wanted him to wear. but i think reason you are against him wearing dress blues is a problem. you have to realize that your guests are coming to see you, and they will not be distracted. it's not as if someone just really likes red and is demanding to wear a red bow tie. it's a formal uniform, and he would be appropriately and honorably dressed. i think you should respect that and be happy that he has made the arrangements to be a part of your wedding.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_brother-marine-dress-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:d66f62f7-74d3-4a06-bb79-1244d94b22abPost:16e9a53d-7514-4bd7-939a-9d2417a40768">My Brother is a Marine... Dress Blues??</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi all, So, here's the deal.  I'm getting married in less than 5 weeks.  My brother is a Marine, and at first <strong>we weren't expecting him at the wedding due to him being stationed in the Pacific.</strong>  However, he suprised everyone by making the arrangements to be there, so now we have some decisions to make. He keeps on saying, as the wonderful brother he is, that he will wear whatever we want him to wear, so my fiance and I had decided, after talking to my parents, that he would wear what the other groomsmen were wearing, and then if he wanted, he could change into his dress blues after formal pictures were taken. Now, mom changed her mind and wants him to wear the blues the whole day.  My issue with that is that <strong>it will be a distraction from the bride and groom both during the ceremony and in pictures that follow.</strong>  We both love my brother and are both extremely proud of what he does, but - <strong>this is our day</strong>, and have been told by MANY MANY people that <strong>we should not do anything that will take away the focus from us.</strong> Thought?
Posted by sen5186[/QUOTE]

Are you kidding me?  Please tell me this is a made up post and not a real situation.  You thought your Marine brother would miss the ceremony and he managed to get leave to attend.  You do understand that this is not always easy to do, right?  He made an significant effort to show up on your "special day" on the opposite end of the continent.  That is something good siblings do for one another.

Good siblings are also just happy that the person is there to share in their wedding day with them.  Do you honestly think people looking at you at the alter or later in pictures are going to say "What? Wedding? Oh...that's why she's in the white ballgown. Well now I'm trying to figure out why someone would be so aesthetically inconsiderate as to wear his military uniform to such a special day."

I don't know what people told you many, many times that nothing should take the focus off of you and FI but I would bet that you're only asking the people who are going to tell you what you want to hear.  I think most people would be proud to show off a member of their wedding party as a member of our military.  Get over yourself.

[Deleted User]

I don't normally name-call on the boards, but in this case I'm making an exception. You are a complete jerk and your brother deserves a better sister than you.

acmj11

Wow!!  Did you really just post that??

baystateapple

Let him wear his dress blues for the entire ceremony.

Not only is it stupid to think that his uniform is going to detract from your SPECIAL DAY, it's also very rude to ask someone in the military to not wear their dress uniform to a special event.

My cousin, who was in the Army, died three years ago.  I would be thrilled if he was going to be at my wedding in his dress uniform.

GreenPepperBurger

You're crazy.

samurai21

My dad will be walking me down the aisle in his dress mess. Dear God I hope our guests remember that me, the one in the big white dress and veils is the main event, and hopefully in our family photos people remember who the groom is!!

hmm...maybe I DO have some thinking to do. You've opened my eyes. Thank you.

Cat24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_brother-marine-dress-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d66f62f7-74d3-4a06-bb79-1244d94b22abPost:af1ebb15-7cb7-43ca-a707-32a8e9e2db41">Re: My Brother is a Marine... Dress Blues??</a>:
[QUOTE]You're crazy.
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

This!

hd7694

My BROTHER was in the military.  He died several years ago.  I wouldn't have had it any other was than for him to wear his dress uniform.  AND he would have been walking me down the aisle.  My perception of you is that you are a spoiled brat.  Get over yourself.  His dress uniform is not going to take away from your pretty princess day.  I don't think your guests will be confused about why they are there.  IF you famly and friends know that your brother is stationed over seas and he is home, his dress uniform will not make a difference.  People will still be excited to see him, regardless of what he is wearing.

goheels05

HD I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. 

OP, I find it hard to believe that you "have been told by MANY MANY people that we should not do anything that will take away the focus from us."  That is completely bogus.

sctfrk1314

My brother was in the Army until recently and when my cousin got married 3 years ago he was happy when my brother showed up in his dress uniform! My bro wore it through the ceremony and in the family pics and it is possible to recognize that the groom is the man in the tux next to the lovely girl in the white dress.

I cannot believe you! You're a horrible person if that is what crossed your mind when your brother makes plans to attend your wedding. 

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_brother-marine-dress-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d66f62f7-74d3-4a06-bb79-1244d94b22abPost:3e75b896-20de-4935-940b-202fc7649517">Re: My Brother is a Marine... Dress Blues??</a>:
[QUOTE]Please point out the Bride and Groom: Damn, that was hard.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

omg, why are you not standing with your husband????

Oh wait, the guys next to you IS your husband.  Sorry, I was blinded by the uniform.

gottahavashorti

Having a hostage situation at your wedding would draw attention from the bride and groom. 

The entire church being set on fire during the wedding would draw attention from the bride and groom.

A circus performing at the altar in front of the bride and groom would draw attention from the bride and groom.

Having no food during dinner time and no seats during an hour long ceremony or 2 hour long food free cocktail hour would draw attention from the bride and groom's spotlight and focus it on the fact that the guests are now drunk and upset with the bride and groom for leaving them hungry and with hurting feet.

Something as trivial as dress blues will not stop your friends and family from turning into papparazzi on your wedding day.  You and your FI will be getting dragged in all directions by your guests who want to talk, take a picture with the bride and groom, dance with the bride and groom, etc.  Someone dressed in a military uniform, super hot dress, or only their underpants will not change that.

Your brother is a grown man who can make his own decisions about what outfit to put on in the morning when he is not on duty and required to wear a uniform.  In fact, your brother is a grown man who is told constantly what clothes to wear.  This is one of the rare occasions where he's allowed to choose his own clothes.  Let him.

sucrets4

Dammit, why do these people come from Long Island?

If you're looking for validation, check out longislandweddings.com.  They're full of it there.

In the meantime, realize that everything that people wrote above me is 100% true.

jessa92010

Wow, seriously?  My brother is a Marine officer.  My fiance is an Air Force officer.  Both of them are wearing mess dress/dress blues for the wedding will look better them me, but I DON'T CARE.  But what do I know?  My naval officer friend will be in dress whites <gasp>!  I know, how could I let him wear a white uniform?

I can't even believe you're anything but thrilled he's able to make it.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_brother-marine-dress-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:d66f62f7-74d3-4a06-bb79-1244d94b22abPost:e5209939-bdff-4308-a856-663022ddaccc">Re: My Brother is a Marine... Dress Blues??</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, I find it hard to believe that you "have been told by MANY MANY people that we should not do anything that will take away the focus from us."  That is completely bogus.
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

This.  I find it hard to believe that any sane person would back up this stupid idea.

nda_roxybabe

Why do you get to dictate what he wears? He is an adult.
It sounds like he is doing a super sweet, nice thing by arranging to be there. I'd let him wear whatever the hell he wants. Heck, if my brother did something that sweet I'd let him come in sweats and a t shirt.
You ar being an absolute brat.

PetraStonegirl

My future BIL is a Marine. He has served two tours of duty in Iraq, one in Afghanistan, and will be deployed back to Afghanistan a few weeks after our wedding. And both our families are heart-broken that he won't be there in his dress blues for our wedding. The Marine Corps won't allow even seasoned veterans to leave the base in the 30 days before deployment. You, Missy, are acting like a spoiled, selfish, foolish, brat. Harden the fcck up.