Bridesmaid dress *vent*

francienyc

This will be a bit of a rant, but I'm hoping someone out there will be able to commisserate.

I'm getting married in August, and I'm starting to think about bridesmaid dresses idly, browsing around websites but not committing to anything, but vaguely discussing options with my fianc¦é, who also helpfully selected a color.  He's been so involved, it's great.

However, today he went for dinner at his family's, and his sisters, who are bridesmaids, started bugging him about dresses.  When he said he didn't know if it would be long or short, one sister said "If it's short, I'd rather not be a bridesmaid" and when he said I didn't want chiffon (I don't), the other one said "But I like chiffon.  And I deserve to be in something I feel comfortable in."

 Is it just me, or is this horribly unfair?  I have 8 freaking bridesmaids because I didn't want to leave anyone out, and the fianc¦é really wanted his sisters, but now I'm getting so much grief!  Part of me wonders if it's because I'm not there--he's in England and I'm in NY so perhaps they feel like they're entitled to more of an opinion as the bride is not there to veto.  And I haven't even started discussing dresses with the American bridesmaids yet.  I wanted to get married with my closest friends and family standing up there with me, but it seems they are forgetting the point and only worried about the fashion. 

Are any of you dealing with bridesmaid egos?  What do you do to achieve peace?

klboas

One thing to think about is the fact that you weren't there.  Very possible they were just being bratty - but also possible that their comments weren't genuine.  Since its family they probably felt that the could be open with their true feelings.  It could be a good chance that they would be happy to wear whatever you want, but they are just expressing what they specifically want.

Hope it all works out!  I know I've had trouble getting my 5 on the same page, good luck with your 8!

Grits8812

I agree with Duds, they sound like they are just being bratty because you aren't there to tell them how you want it.

It is your decision what the dresses will look like, as long as you work with their budget.  If you decide you want chiffon, you will have it.  If not, she will deal.  Same with the girl who wants a long dress.  It is their decision if that makes them want to step down.

LuckyGirl1713

I would pretend like you never heard those comments and (keep their budgets in mind of course) pick the dress that you would like all your bridesmaids to wear.  if they have a problem with them then they can step down and you can move on with the bridesmaid that will stand by your side.  don't stress to much about it :-)

skantrowitz

Ditto everyone else. Find out their budget and then pick a designer/length/color you like, and go with it. I think it's find to specify a fabric-- I said a short satin/charmeuse/sateen in lapis from David's Bridal-- but if you want to be especially nice, you could let them choose fabric as well and let them have chiffon if they feel strongly about it.

kateguess22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-dress-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:e3f0c59d-2f89-4bf5-9096-796eafd355eePost:88038f50-3d86-4d79-a586-e89cf9538364">Re: Bridesmaid dress *vent*</a>:
[QUOTE]With that many bridesmaids it will be impossible to please everybody.  Would you be up for letting them pick out whatever dress as long as it's the right color? 
Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

This is a GREAT solution as long as you are comfortable with it. I think it's a great idea. Realistically, it is really hard to keep all of these girls happy but this could help a lot.

francienyc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-dress-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:e3f0c59d-2f89-4bf5-9096-796eafd355eePost:c8e9766a-5d6e-498f-b944-4bc61f3c188a">Re: Bridesmaid dress *vent*</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a friend who works for a bridal shop in Chicago.  She says that sister's in law are the worst for working with a bride.  That is future in laws.  So I can appreciate your difficulty, but it is your wedding, HUH!
Posted by Marti66[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm starting to see this!  Especially competitive sisters.</div><div>
</div><div>I think what annoys me is that everyone may not *love* their dress, but I'd have hoped they'd at least be cooperative.  Sheesh.  I'm torn between a 'shut up and wear it' situation simply because they're giving me grief and picking length, fabric, and color and then letting them pick styles.  Probably the latter is nicer...</div>