MOB and MOG color / dresses

jcerda

I'm having a hard time visualizing what my mother should wear for our wedding and she is very flexible on it too... 

We are having an outdoor ceremony and indoor reception in late April. Bridesmaids dresses are Victorian Lilac from Alfred Angelo which is a purpleish blue color. The wedding is semi-formal to classy and somewhat laid back. What color and/or material would you suggest given our format? I would prefer for MOB and MOG not to be in the same color as bridesmaids, and obviously not outshine one another. Suggestions?

Thanks.

Avion22

You don't get to pick what your mother or his mother wear.   You can inform them of your colors if they ask, but they are more than capable of picking their dresses.  In many cultures it would be in poor taste for them to wear white, but in other cultures this is just fine.  Also, in American culture it used to be bad form for the mothers to wear black (it showed that they didn't approve of the marriage), but nowadays black is just fine for mothers, especially for a formal wedding.   

If either your mom or his ask you what they should wear, then I would recommend you tell them to pick out whatever they like that they feel comfortable in.   If they ask you to come shopping with them, or ask opinions on specific dresses, then perhaps a darker blue or purple in a simple fabric (maybe minimal beading, but probably no sequins or serious bling for a daytime outdoor weding).

If one of them picks a dress that, in your opinion, absolutely clashes (say, bright red or orange), then suck it up.  You don't get to dictate what they wear.

jcerda

Thanks for the input. By no means is it a dictate. My mother really doesn't know/care and keeps asking me what she should wear. My response has been for her to wear what she is comfortable with. I was trying to get suggestions of what might look good so next time she asks I can give her some input. I have mentioned going with her too if that is what she wants. The MOG is just waiting to hear what MOB decides since etiquette suggests that one is based on the other. 

kmmssg

I'm a MOB.  Let your FMIL know it is really old school to be waiting for your mom to choose her dress.  I refuse to coordinate with the MOG when one of our four girls is getting married because it just seems like it puts MOG as second class citizen.  I just can't disrespect them like that.  It is great that your FMIL doesn't view it that way, but she's one of the mom's too and doesn't need to worry about coordinating with your mom.

BeachLover2885

I didn't tell my mother what color to wear, but she did purchase a gown in a gray-blue color in a lightweight chiffon since our wedding is in in July. My mom actually really loves that color, so that's why she ended up choosing it. My girls' dresses are a silvery purple color, so I think it will look really pretty together. What's your mother's favorite color to wear? Maybe ask her what color she likes on herself and what fabric, and then offer to help her shop.  After your mom purchases her dress, you can tell your future MIL what color she's wearing so she won't pick the same one.  OR, if the MOG buys the dress first, then she can tell your mom what color she's wearing. 

Overall, I really don't think it matters what color the MOB or the MOG are in.  I do understand that they wouldn't want to both wear the same color (unless it's black) so as long as you keep everyone on the same page I think it will be fine.  

gundy21

My mom and MIL both asked for input.  I asked them to get something they felt comfortable and beautiful in, and if possible, not pink ( I hate pink - any other color was fine).  My BMs were in black tea-length dresses of their choosing, my mom in a dusty lilac lace and chiffon tea-length dress, and MIL was in a gorgeous ruffled cream jacket and black palazzo pants (dresses just aren't her style).  Everyone looked and felt great!

meganb1977

If they ask for input you can suggest that something neutral will look good in pictures since it won't clash with any of the other colors.  Otherwise whatever they like that is appropriate for however formal the wedding is.