Bridezilla?

DontesMommy

My fiances aunt went and bought our flower girl, her daughter, her dress for the wedding today without consulting me first. The dress looks absolutely NOTHING like my dress. Im aggravated about it and she said it was because it was cheap. I had offered last week that if she couldnt afford it I would be perfectly fine with helping her pay for it. The other thing is we are having 2 flower girls and we want them to have the same dress. Im stressed and dont know how to nicely tell her its not the look I was going for without upsetting her. Am I being crazy?

Also, the flower girl dress has pink  in it and we arent having ANY pink in the wedding.... TIA

girl2bewed

The flower girl dress doesn't have to match your dress nor does it have to match the color of your wedding. They will look just as adorable in pink even if there isn't pink anywhere else in your wedding. If you want her to wear a specific dress you should probably buy it yourself, your aunt isn't going to argue with something that you've already bought, explain to her your reasons for buying it, that you want the girls to match.

DontesMommy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:f0b63f84-7e61-4de6-bfec-235a7ee42277Post:415bbd92-7a13-4db5-b74f-9a2358c3da1d">Re: Bridezilla?</a>:
[QUOTE]The flower girl dress doesn't have to match your dress nor does it have to match the color of your wedding.
Posted by girl2bewed[/QUOTE]

I never said they HAD to, I said we WANT them too. And I did tell her we would pay, I wrote that earlier. I am asking if it was unreasonable for me to be upset that they didnt consult me or even ask for our financial help. Its been a very bad day today, this wasnt the first thing to go wrong so I dont mean  to be a total B*****. My wedding is in 4 months and Im starting to panic

luckyme502

I think you should tell her it was nice of her to go out an buy a dress, but you really wanted to have the two flower girls match, so if she could come shopping with you, you can pick out a dress for her to wear. 

mbcdefg

THis isn't something to panic over. It's a DRESS.

You can either buy her a new one and say, "I really would prefer that the flower girls be in matching dresses of my choice, which is why I will foot the bill for them" ... or just let it go because it's not a big deal.

bridesrighthand

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:f0b63f84-7e61-4de6-bfec-235a7ee42277Post:c9b59ce1-b78a-4fe6-afa3-04d47751830b">Re: Bridezilla?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should tell her it was nice of her to go out an buy a dress, but you really wanted to have the two flower girls match, so if she could come shopping with you, you can pick out a dress for her to wear. 
Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with this.  And although I agree with pp that it's just a dress and no need to panic...it's YOUR WEDDING and if you want things to match and be a particular style, that's completely your perogative.</div>

scpalmtree06

I think you have a right to be upset about her going behind your back and buying a dress without consulting you.  You're going to have to confront her about it, and yes she may get upset, but she didn't seem too worried about upsetting you by buying the dress in the first place, did she?

swim1011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:f0b63f84-7e61-4de6-bfec-235a7ee42277Post:a74c8681-d1c1-40e6-999b-1ee958a25db8">Re: Bridezilla?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridezilla? : I never said they HAD to, I said we WANT them too. And I did tell her we would pay, I wrote that earlier. I am asking if it was unreasonable for me to be upset that they didnt consult me or even ask for our financial help. Its been a very bad day today, this wasnt the first thing to go wrong <strong>so I dont mean  to be a total B*****.</strong> My wedding is in 4 months and Im starting to panic
Posted by DontesMommy[/QUOTE]


You failed. 

Why are you panicking 4 months out from your wedding about this dress?  And I don't have any kids, but isn't that early to buy a dress for a flower girl?  I know kids grow like crazy at that age- our tux rental place said they don't even measure ring bearers until a month before hand, or something like that. 

If you absolutely can't stand to have the girls not match, just tell the mom you're ponying up for the dresses, and would prefer that they match.   

tammy974

Dear Bridezilla, your wedding is YOUR WEDDING and no one can determine what someone should wear in YOUR WEDDING without consulting you.  You will not be rude or hurt anyone feelings by letting her know that that is not the dress you have chosen for your wedding. People always want to disrespect the bride by putting in their opinions and get their feelings hurt when they are told no or that is not what the bride wants but, if they will RESPECT the bride's position, there will be no problem.  I am planning my wedding and upon chosing my bridal party, I prepared a booklet of what type of dresses they will wear, the cost, and I purchased the shoes and accessories. They have a choice to agree with my decision or not, if they do not, they will not be a part of my day and I will ask someone else who will be willing to be a part of my day.  Don't be afraid and let her know that going cheap is not what's always best, its about what you want. Also as for the person who said flower girls alway look cute in pink, NOT, if you have already chosen your wedding color scheme and no one wants to look at photos and be upset.

aerinpegadrak

It's just not a battle worth fighting.  Sure, you're allowed to do whatever you want for YOUR wedding, but your family and friends are also permitted to not want to hang around you anymore because you're being a giant pain in the ass.

Let it go for a while.  If, closer to the wedding, she still fits in the dress, then fine.  If not, then buy her a dress that does fit.

It kind of sucks that they didn't consult you, but it's not worth causing major drama to try to fix it.  And trust me, when you look back at your wedding pictures, if the one thing you focus on is the one person not wearing exactly what you wanted, your priorities are way out of whack.  Most of us look at our wedding pictures and remember what a good time we had surrounded by our nearest and dearest.

If a flower girl dress is enough to "ruin" your wedding, you're having a wedding for the wrong reasons.

jeanna85

I'm  confused, why would you want your flower girl's dress to look like yours? Odd.

DontesMommy

Im so over this post. But walk into a bridal store and look how many more mini bride flower girl dresses there are than colored ones...