Attire & Accessories Forum

BM Dress Help


So we only have 1 BM (well tecnically she will be a groomsmaid but that's not really the point)...

We are going dress shopping soon and I have a few ideas of the look I like (posted some links below).  I want long since she will be the only girl and between me and the other guys I don't want just one set of legs showing.  I want kind of a flowy look to it (it's an outdoor ceremony).  She will have a LOT of say in what she feels comfortable in because she is the only girl and I don't want her feeling self conscious.  She has already said that she is ok with strapless but would prefer to then where a shawl with it- I'm not so keen on that idea unless it came with the dress and matches well.  My FI thinks that even if she has straps she will want some sort of cover. 

So- I was watching one of the recordings of 4 weddings last night and one of the girls had some of her BMs in jackets (short sleeves) that matched the dresses and I thought looked nice.  But with the material/flowy look I like I'm not sure if a jacket would fit that look.

Any ideas of how I can meet in the middle and still get the look I want but also have her feel comfortable and pretty as well?  She said she will wear whatever but you can tell in pictures when someone feels uncomfortable and self conscious and I don't want her in front of around 200 people not feeling good about herself...

Oh- and I would be open to the more (terrible with material) but the tighter dress material if it would still somehow look like it belonged at an outdoor ceremony so I'm open to those ideas too.

Or maybe I'm worrying too much and any of the dresses would work with a jacket thing...
Thanks for the help/advice/input!!">">">

Re: BM Dress Help

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    I think you're overthinking things a bit. Heavier material will not look out of place at an outdoor wedding. I would let her choose whatever she's comfortable in, and add a wrap or jacket if she wants. She won't look out of place, no matter what she chooses.

    If she doesn't find something at DB that suits her, why not turn to department stores? Since she's the only lady you're trying to dress, there's no need for it to be a bridesmaid dress, and if you look beyond the bridal designers you're likely to find more gowns with straps. Check out Macy's, which has a ton of great gown options, and a dress finder that lets you search by color, length, etc. Other department stores have great choices too.
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    Ditto Opalsky.  I wouldn't worry about these issues until you go to try on dresses with her.  You can look at pictures for hours, but until you're in the bridal salon you won't really know what looks good together and what will work for your BM.  Good luck!
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    Ditto Opal.  You are way overthinking this, especially if you only have 1 BM.  You should just give her a color basically and let her find gowns she likes while you're with her, and see how you like them.  Shawls can look great with dresses even if they don't come with them.  She also could possibly look at some MOB dresses.  DB has quite a few that aren't completely matronly, and they have cute little jackets to go with them.  But if she really wouldn't prefer strapless please don't try and convince her to get it, especially if she doesn't even have other BM's you want her to match.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
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    Thanks for the help!

    Just to clarify a little- I started by asking what type of dress (strapless/halter/etc) and sent her some ideas.  She responded with more strapless dresses (but they were short which is the only thing I really don't want) but then also said if she wears strapless she would prefer to wear a shawl so I was a little confused.  I have no problem with straps/strapless/etc. I just assumed she liked strapless since those were the ideas/gowns she sent back lol.

    Thanks for letting me know I'm overthinking it a little- guess we will just go to the couple appts. (DB and House of Brides) and see what works.  I'm just hoping they have wraps/jackets there even if the color doesn't match so we can at least see what the whole thing would look like and what she feels good in.

    Thanks again!
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    Yeah just keep an open mind.  And honestly I don't think it would look bad at all if she was the only one in a short dress.  I wore a long dress and your guys wore tuxes, but my BM's were in short dresses.  If you really don't want it that's fine, but if it's purely because you don't think it will look right then I don't think that will be a problem.  
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
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    Hell, I had six girls between the two sides and only one wore something from a bridal designer (a DB dress she found at a thrift store).  I think in this case it would be better for her to take the lead on the dress search with a few basic guidelines from you (color, formality), and to just run it by you before she purchases so you can approve.  You can certainly go shopping together if you both want to, but I don't think it's strictly necessary.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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