Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot

mrscarter052011

We've all done it or witnessed it so what are some of your best stories about people accidentally saying funny things.

Here's mine:
Background: I work in a civil engineering office.  Right now I am the only female with 10 males.  They're a fun group and we all joke alot.

So, yesterday they're talking about how one of the bosses has lost a bunch of weight and how he looks good (he happens to wearing a black shirt) And my other boss says "Well, they say black is slimming, right Kar?"

OMG, we were all hysterical before he even understood what he said.  It was great. Your turn...

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_step-1-open-mouth-step-2-insert-foot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0217aa57-2223-4e49-930a-b610f31ac3aePost:28c0e23b-a0ef-457c-8308-3d8b4982dd43">Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot</a>:
[QUOTE]We've all done it or witnessed it so what are some of your best stories about people accidentally saying funny things. Here's mine: Background: I work in a civil engineering office.  Right now I am the only female with 10 males.  They're a fun group and we all joke alot. So, yesterday they're talking about how one of the bosses has lost a bunch of weight and how he looks good (he happens to wearing a black shirt) And my other boss says "Well, they say black is slimming, right Kar?" OMG, we were all hysterical before he even understood what he said.  It was great. Your turn...
Posted by mrscarter052011[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't get it</div>

LessThanZero

Oh have I got a doozy.

At my previous job there was a receptionist that sat up at the very front of the building. She would sometimes use the loudspeaker to announce things or page people within the building.

Well one day, we're all sitting quietly in our cubicle (I shared a large one with 2 other people at the time) and the receptionist begins making an announcement.

 "Any of you who signed up for BJ's, please come to the front desk."  (She meant something having to do with the store BJs)

I died. I had my head buried in my arm so that it would be so obvious that I was 12 yrs old. Luckily a lot of people were snickering and giggling throughout the room. Something about that being said over a loudspeaker just made it 10 times funnier than anything else.

mrscarter052011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_step-1-open-mouth-step-2-insert-foot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0217aa57-2223-4e49-930a-b610f31ac3aePost:13e52956-a8b0-4c65-9a4a-371c23baac5d">Re: Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot : I don't get it
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

Meaning people wear black to make themselves look skinnier and I would need to know that b/c I'm fat (and I was wearing black too)

BecW2be

I've done the "I love you", and the guy said "Love you too" and we both hung up. Then we scrambled to call each other back and make sure it was a slip up on both sides. We died laughing.

I used to have this cool floating bookshelf thing in my office. It's supposed to bracket to a wall stud, but I put it in front of this huge metal beam. I didn't want it tipping over, so I took a belt and tightened it around the bookshelf and the beam so it would be supported. The president of my company came in to admire it one day and noticed the belt and I said, "Yeah, I had to strap it on to get it to stay in place." He said, "So, you're saying you had to use a strap-on in the office?!" I turned 57.5 different shades of red and he had to walk out of my office we were laughing so hard.

mrscarter052011

Mica- I find that there is much less drama working in a male office.  When we disagree we say, argue if we need to and it's over.

LTZ-I agree, anything over a loudspeaker is funnier.

mrscarter052011

TK is eating posts.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_step-1-open-mouth-step-2-insert-foot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0217aa57-2223-4e49-930a-b610f31ac3aePost:a9c5ae62-2ba1-49a2-bdb1-9ac796585d02">Re: Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot : Meaning people wear black to make themselves look skinnier and I would need to know that b/c I'm fat (and I was wearing black too)
Posted by mrscarter052011[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh, then that makes more sense. I didn't know those details. Sorry. </div>

betrothed123

Not really funny, but the jackass who works in my department came into my office on his first day and saw 3 granola bars sitting on my desk (at the time it was typical for me to eat a granola bar for breakfast and then another for lunch, but keep a spare in case I was still hungry).  He looks at the granola bars, looks at me, and says "You're not going to eat all of those by yourself, are you?  That's a lot of food for one person."

Yeah I'm pretty sure that's when I decided I hated him and it's gotten progressively worse since.

mrscarter052011

Bec- That made me crack up too.

At our office we often say "I'm going to punch you in the face" (jokingly of course) as a response to just about anything for instance "Kar, the copier is out of paper. How 'bout you add more?" Me: "How about I punch you in the face?" Then we laugh.

Well, this past weekend FI starts whining about crap that has to be done in the house and I mutter "Or I could punch you in the face" out of pure habit and says "Did you just say you were going to punch me?"  Oooops.  Now  you all know that we act like 6th graders at my office.

LessThanZero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_step-1-open-mouth-step-2-insert-foot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0217aa57-2223-4e49-930a-b610f31ac3aePost:b2af66d3-e731-4e96-9a65-d1f6048cfef7">Re: Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot</a>:
[QUOTE]Bec- That made me crack up too. At our office we often say "I'm going to punch you in the face" (jokingly of course) as a response to just about anything for instance "Kar, the copier is out of paper. How 'bout you add more?" <strong>Me: "How about I punch you in the face?" Then we laugh.</strong> Well, this past weekend FI starts whining about crap that has to be done in the house and I mutter "Or I could punch you in the face" out of pure habit and says "Did you just say you were going to punch me?"  Oooops.  Now  you all know that we act like 6th graders at my office.
Posted by mrscarter052011[/QUOTE]


Do we work in the same office? I threaten to punch someone at least once a day.

zippityb

My favorite loudspeaker story is the one where the janitor at some school was there after hours and started singing Welcome to the Jungle over the loudspeaker, and a teacher that was there working late thought she was in some kind of danger because of the "you're gonna dieeee" line. And she called the police because she doesn't know good music.

ichellemay1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_step-1-open-mouth-step-2-insert-foot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0217aa57-2223-4e49-930a-b610f31ac3aePost:1d3d58af-53c9-4b3d-b70e-0b632caae7fe">Re: Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot</a>:
[QUOTE]My favorite loudspeaker story is the one where the janitor at some school was there after hours and started singing Welcome to the Jungle over the loudspeaker, and a teacher that was there working late thought she was in some kind of danger because of the "you're gonna dieeee" line. And she called the police because she doesn't know good music.
Posted by zippityb[/QUOTE]

Loudspeakers always add that something extra to a story...  I hope this woman expanded her horizons after that.

TheCranberry

I was in middle school in woodshop class.  The teacher wouldn't let us use the sander on our own so we had to ask him to sand our projects for us.  I brought my finished project to him and said "will you sand my bottom please?"  He laughed and said (loud enough for the whole class to hear) "you want me to sand your bottom?!  I don't know about that one!"  I was horrified, but I guess it was sort of funny. 

In hindsight I realize he was a perv and always making suggestive comments about nailing and hammering things.

mgietler76

I work in the service department at a dealership and a customer calls to tell me his engine is mis-firing, this is how it went:

Cust: I need an appointment because my engine is missing
Me: Shouldn't you call the cops?
**silence from both ends**

I used to work the drive thru at McDonalds and I answered my phone one day "thank-you for choosing McDonalds, can I take your order?"

I'm so smart sometimes.

LessThanZero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_step-1-open-mouth-step-2-insert-foot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0217aa57-2223-4e49-930a-b610f31ac3aePost:20d38124-cab3-42fc-a77c-b3546578b387">Re: Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot</a>:
[QUOTE]I was in middle school in woodshop class.  The teacher wouldn't let us use the sander on our own so we had to ask him to sand our projects for us.  I brought my finished project to him and said "will you sand my bottom please?"  He laughed and said (loud enough for the whole class to hear) "you want me to sand your bottom?!  I don't know about that one!"  I was horrified, but I guess it was sort of funny.  In hindsight I realize he was a perv and <strong>always making suggestive comments about nailing and hammering things.</strong>
Posted by TheCranberry[/QUOTE]


I think I'm your high school woodshop teacher.

Celles

I once overheard one of our accountants ask if Europe was a country.  Apparently, I wasn't the only one, because the phrase "Europe is not a country" still shows up randomly one white boards around the accounting office.

SCBojangles1138

I did an internship a few years ago and most of my "teammates" were just-graduated from high school. We had the one girl (who ended up becoming my bff on the team) convinced that Canada was actually pronounced canyada and that it was written with that tilda thingy over the "n." We still laugh about that.

TheCranberry

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_step-1-open-mouth-step-2-insert-foot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0217aa57-2223-4e49-930a-b610f31ac3aePost:c046924b-789c-4cf9-bb15-d419d4978451">Re: Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot : I think I'm your high school woodshop teacher.
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

Mr. Wong?!

calindi

I had just started at my new job, and my boss is only two years older than me.  I was out to lunch with my boss and his friend, who is the head of another department. The two guys were sitting across from me and had ordered the 1/2 chicken meal, while I got the pulled chicken.  They kept talking about what a good value the 1/2 chicken meal is (where they basically just cut a roasted chicken in half and plop it on your plate) and asked why I didn't order it.

I said, "I don't like bone-in because I don't like it when my teeth touch bone."  *facepalm*

They looked at each other, looked at me, and burst out laughing!  Luckily, we all get along really well and it doesn't bother me at all.  Now I get all sorts of jokes about "no bone-in" and "don't like to touch teeth to bone".  They have NEVER let me forget it!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_step-1-open-mouth-step-2-insert-foot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0217aa57-2223-4e49-930a-b610f31ac3aePost:9827457a-fabe-43b6-ae3c-b3e11bca3dac">Re: Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Step 1: Open Mouth, Step 2: Insert Foot : Thsi is awesome.  I would call him all the time just so I could say Diick Washer. 
Posted by mica001[/QUOTE]

I went to high school with a kid who's name is Richard Stroker. Imagine the fun 10th grade boys had with that one.