Snarky Brides

Weddingmares - HELP!

Oh God; they've begun in earnest!

Hopefully at least a few of you will know what I'm talking about: the wedding-themed bad dreams as the big day gets closer.

Before we were engaged, I would occasionally have bizarre wedding dreams. They'd usually involve me having to borrow a costume for a dress or invite strangers to be our witnesses, since it was all being thrown together quicker than we had expected. I get the metaphor behind these... they were telling me that even though I wanted to get married back then, we weren't ready quite yet.

But now that it's for real, and the wedding is just over five weeks away, Lord help me; they've kicked into high gear. We're talking almost every night here, and not just strange but intense, scary and sad.

Last night I was so stressed trying to sleep that I was afraid there were huge spiders in our bedroom curtains, because we haven't vacuumed in ages. Then, after a dream about being chased by a Sasquatch, I next had a dream that one of my close cousins was deeply offended that I'd somehow gotten his name wrong on his invitation. He was so mad that he drove up in person with his mother, threw it back at me, told me to "get it right next time," and stormed away.

In the middle of Sunday night I jumped up and was afraid that something in our apartment had caught fire, because my eyes were adjusting to the dim light coming from our hallway and this made everything look hazy. Then when I calmed down and went back to sleep, I had a dream that some idiot had invited my ex and his family to the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, and the wedding itself. And they were staying in the same hotel. And they had access to the bar. And the jerk kept following me around the whole time, picking fights with me, asking me over and over again why I was marrying my fiance and why I wouldn't give him another chance... while telling me that I was the one who needed help and anger management.

While my ring was away getting sized at the jeweler's, I had a dream that when I went to pick it up, the diamond immediately fell out and the prongs were bent and cheap, and the jeweler assured me that he'd just replace everything with plastic, because "no one ever really knows the difference."

I've also had dreams that my fiance decides that he's going to ditch me for about half the honeymoon so he can hang out with some guy friends, and that my fiance has broken the news to me that he "really only likes me as a friend" and that we're getting married "because our parents expect it and because of the health benefits."

One of the biggest doozies was the dream in which my wedding and my job were combined into one; I had to get married at work while also helping to organize and run the annual office party. Our Senate president was the one helping me into my dress and giving me my "something borrowed" in the back of the cafeteria.

So... I've lost my tiny mind, right? I need to chill, right? But how? What level of yoga / movie marathon / boozefest / bathtime do you do to make these dreams stop coming?

Re: Weddingmares - HELP!

  • damn!

    Your "office wedding " dream made me LOL.

    I always have anxiety dreams about FMIL and reactions she has to things or reactions I anticipate her having to things. She got me so wound up a few months ago that anytime I think anything might be contrary to what she wants, I start dreaming about it.

    I address this with wine therapy myself. Chocolate helps, but I'm on weight watchers....so not much of it. Now that I'm healthier again from this cold season, a little workout here and there.
    Basically, I exhaust myself then I watch something that makes me happy, like Muppets and I dream about htat instead.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
  • OMG! Too funny! I got engaged only a few months ago and the nightmares are already begining!
  • Oh no! Totally with you on the wedding nightmares (and I'm still 6 months out!) I had the same experience as you waking up from a dream and being totally disoriented - my latest dream I dreamed that my cat was going to be carrying our rings down the aisle (of a church...WTH mind?) but that she got distracted halfway there, ran away, and ended up (somehow) in the chandelier but had turned white. I actually got out of bed and went searching for her to make sure she was okay!

    As for how to avoid them... maybe it's just me, but I recommend against movies right before bed! I always seem to incorporate themes from movies into my dreams... fun if you're watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights but not so much if you're watching say... Red Dragon. I second wine therapy though!
  • Angelface225Angelface225 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2013
    I'm making a new rule for myself, no wedding talk or computer time for an hour before bed. I have a constant stress reaction going on right now between work/school/wedding, so I'm going to try to unplug at 9:30 every night.

    I wish I had time to fit in some yoga, that always does wonders for me, but I'm super booked for the next 2 weeks and then I'll fit it in somehow!

    ETA: I also drink wine... alot... but increasing that intake may lead to negative consequences in the morning and even wackier dreams!

     

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_weddingmares-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03c6fbc9-483d-4de5-9e19-0ab698b2f2dfPost:477bde46-3741-45b9-8032-9ad4218864b4">Re: Weddingmares - HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh no! Totally with you on the wedding nightmares (and I'm still 6 months out!) I had the same experience as you waking up from a dream and being totally disoriented - my latest dream I dreamed that my cat was going to be carrying our rings down the aisle (of a church...WTH mind?) but that she got distracted halfway there, ran away, and ended up (somehow) in the chandelier but had turned white. I actually got out of bed and went searching for her to make sure she was okay! As for how to avoid them... maybe it's just me, but I recommend against movies right before bed! I always seem to incorporate themes from movies into my dreams... fun if you're watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights but <strong>not so much if you're watching say... Red Dragon</strong>. I second wine therapy though!
    Posted by jaenella[/QUOTE]

    Holy geez, I remember that movie. I saw it on the big screen at Universal when it came out, and I got thisclose to running out of the theater in terror. It was well done, but I haven't seen it again since!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_weddingmares-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03c6fbc9-483d-4de5-9e19-0ab698b2f2dfPost:dd9e9fbc-73bf-4c79-8466-dc402b1a9409">Re: Weddingmares - HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I'm making a new rule for myself, no wedding talk or computer time for an hour before bed. I have a constant stress reaction going on right now between work/school/wedding, so I'm going to try to unplug at 9:30 every night.</strong> I wish I had time to fit in some yoga, that always does wonders for me, but I'm super booked for the next 2 weeks and then I'll fit it in somehow! ETA: I also drink wine... alot... but increasing that intake may lead to negative consequences in the morning and even wackier dreams!
    Posted by Angelface225[/QUOTE]

    Oooh, good one! Maybe part of the problem is that the last things we discuss before bed lately tend to be some of the next items off our to-do list, and we both play on our iPhones before turning the lights out.

    But then again, I may have happier dreams if I log in and stare at Bob Ross Cat for about twenty minutes before bed. He cracks me up. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
  • I found that wedding dreams stopped when I no longer allowed any discussion or thinking about the wedding in bed. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_weddingmares-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03c6fbc9-483d-4de5-9e19-0ab698b2f2dfPost:268ab2c5-12c4-49aa-9bf8-9ef603511f52">Re: Weddingmares - HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weddingmares - HELP! : Oooh, good one! Maybe part of the problem is that the last things we discuss before bed lately tend to be some of the next items off our to-do list, and we both play on our iPhones before turning the lights out. But then again, I may have happier dreams if I log in and stare at<strong> Bob Ross Cat</strong> for about twenty minutes before bed. He cracks me up.
    Posted by Wife Kitty[/QUOTE]

    I was actually starting to think no one got it, lol! I used to watch Bob Ross on PBS all the time! His voice is so soothing, that may be another good bedtime strategy!!

     

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_weddingmares-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03c6fbc9-483d-4de5-9e19-0ab698b2f2dfPost:aaf2192d-25ed-4ec7-a9e5-58a7b4887b12">Re: Weddingmares - HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Weddingmares - HELP! : Holy geez, I remember that movie. I saw it on the big screen at Universal when it came out, and I got thisclose to running out of the theater in terror. It was well done, but I haven't seen it again since!
    Posted by Wife Kitty[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>It gave me nightmares for a week... I watched it in university with my girlfriends and we ended up sleeping in sleeping bags in the living room because we were too scared to go sleep by ourselves!!

    </div>
  • I've been having wedding nightmares as well. Not as often as the big day is still more than 3 months away. But about a month ago, I dreamt that it was the day of the wedding, and I decided to leave my cell phone behind (which is normal). But then my fiance ended up being a no-show. So I had to scounge around for quarters to call him on a pay phone and be like "J where are you?! Are you forgetting something?"

    "No no, I'm just walking around Moncton. Why?"

    "It's our wedding today"

    That was by far the worst dream I've had.

    I've also had good dreams about the wedding though too. My grandmother who meant the world to me passed away two years ago, so I dreamt about her being there while we signed the marriage certificate, then having her hug me and say she was proud of me for who I've become. I took it as a sign that she would approve of my choice to marry my fi.

    Hope you have some good dreams as the wedding approaches :)
    image
    Married as of June 22, 2013!!!

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  • Morning, everyone! Darn it; I had another dream yesterday. This time I dreamt that I was cleaning up in the kitchen, and I accidentally knocked two of my beautiful shower gifts onto the floor where they smashed into a million pieces.

    Oh well; at least this one wasn't as severe as the others.

  • Jaenella, the cat dream is pretty unique and funny! Especially the interesting detail of the poor thing turning white while on the chandelier... maybe from stress?

    Swimmy, I totally sympathize with the scary dream involving the phone call... it's right up there with my dream about my fiance ditching me for half of our honeymoon.

    Britni, I love me some Muppets! We're going to Disney World for our honeymoon, so the fiance will finally get to see the 3D Muppet Show, among other things. I can't wait!

    You all seem to be in favor of a combination of wine therapy and a complete cutoff of weddnig conversation in the last hour before bed. I will try both and see what happens! Maybe I can crack open my bottle of Forgiveness and ask a girl friend to share it with me.
  • labrolabro member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Is it bad that I'm having weddingmares and it isn't even my wedding? 

    My little sister is getting married in November, I'm her MoH, and I've already had several nightmares regarding the whole event. Some of them center around nobody showing up to the wedding. I had another dream about my aunt, she traditionally presents a quilt to the bride and groom at the ceremony. In the dream she gets up and explains she only started on the quilt a couple of days ago but rather than do something classy she's planning to do a blend of my sister's and her Fi's college mascots. Basically she starts pulling out these horrible clashing colors, tacky representations of owls and some random bird and it just looks terrible.



  • I have had a few dreams and the last two involved my FI cheating on me, which I know he would never do. He also has been waking up in a panic, because he keeps dreaming he is dying or dead. This from a man who never dreams... I looked up dreaming about dying and one meaning could be the ending of a phase and a new one beginning. That could tie into our marriage as well as the decision to leave our church. I think that he is more nervous than he lets on, being a 33 year old man who never wanted to get married....
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  • I know exactly what you mean about the wedding nightmares!  We got engaged this past December, and didn't understand how much time goes into wedding planning, so we set our date for this June. Once we put down payments on everything for this spring, we realized that 6 months is not a lot of time to plan a wedding!  With less than 3 months until the big day, there is so much to still be done, so the wedding nightmares have begun!  The best one I had was that I woke up the day of the wedding and realized we had forgotten to apply for our marriage license, so FI and I had to go to the courthouse (which happened to be someone's house in the middle of nowhere).  We had to wait on a long line, and then they told us that there would be no ceremony, and they would marry us right there.
  • Gpeeples, we still have to file for the marriage license as well, among so many other things. Crystal, I too had a dream about my fiance cheating on me just yesterday - with his best friend's wife, no less, whose baby shower I just attended on Saturday. I have also had a dream in which I cheated on him with an old high school boyfriend whom I haven't seen or spoken to in years. I agree that your fiance's dreams of death have everything to do with beginning a new phase in your lives, both in your marriage and with the church. Isn't it interesting how our anxieties and excitement can play themselves out? And Hollister, the dream about the tacky quilt cracks me up. I'd actually kind of like to see that!
  • edited March 2013
    Glad to see I'm not the only one!  For some reason my weddingmares always end with death - first my bridesmaids died a week before the wedding in a tornado.  In another dream I got cancer so we had to postpone the wedding.  In the third dream, the lady I hired to alter my dress turned out to be a witchdoctor.  She ended up jacking my dress up and killing my fiance, then buried him in her back yard and laid my severely messed up dress on the top of the grave.

    I've never had such morbid dreams in my life.  Luckily it has been a couple weeks since I've had one.

    I don't think 2 months can get here any sooner!  Good luck to us all to survive wedding stress!
    Let's Drink Coffee, Darling
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  • I totally feel you! I have found that the more my day is consumed with wedding things, the more likely I am to have the dreams! That being said- I have no clue what I'm going to do when the date gets closer! Mine typically involve not having my dress and the most recent one where my mom secretly switched al my flowers to artifical (she thought it would "be nice!") LOL

    I agree with no wedding talk before bed... surround yourself with things that relax you- a hot shower, some good TV...

    Good luck!
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  • kap05kap05 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    I had so many wedding dreams when I first got engaged. They have stopped now but i'm sure they'll start again as the date gets closer.
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