SO ANNOYED

ricdaliz11

I have two bridesmaid in my wedding party....one of which is out of town.  She is also my very good childhood friend.  My wedding is in October and she has shown nooo interest in looking for a dress.  First it was she wanted to lose a bunch of weight, then she was busy with work.  She has not communicated with the other person in the wedding or my sisters regarding bridal shower....after they have emailed, called and text many times with no response back.   What am I to do...I am so annoyed with it that I dont even want to talk to her.  She is always "busy" with something!! uggggg 

Starmusica

oh hai. sorry she sucks?

pirategal03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_so-annoyed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:05786b9b-cf66-4c9f-8b15-b49efbe04e8cPost:0ecfd854-3fff-4e3e-8eec-853af25b3bef">SO ANNOYED</a>:
[QUOTE]I have two bridesmaid in my wedding party....one of which is out of town.  She is also my very good childhood friend.  My wedding is in October and she has shown nooo interest in looking for a dress.  First it was she wanted to lose a bunch of weight, then she was busy with work.  She has not communicated with the other person in the wedding or my sisters regarding bridal shower....after they have emailed, called and text many times with no response back.   What am I to do...I am so annoyed with it that I dont even want to talk to her.  She is always "busy" with something!! uggggg 
Posted by ricdaliz11[/QUOTE]

I had to quote because the itallics were making my eyes cross.

Have you talked to her lately about things other than your wedding?  She probably has stuff going on in her life that have kept her busy.  It's not all about your wedding 24-7 for everyone involved.

maratea

Give her a specific date she has to order her BM dress by and if she doesn't, tough titties for her.

brilibby4

 I think you are over reacting about her being busy.  People have lives that don't revolve around your wedding. 

Maybe the reasons she gave you were legit.  Maybe she has relationship problems and is sad to think about weddings.  Did you discuss what budget she was comfortable with before picking out a dress?  Maybe she is avoiding purchasing one because of money issues and is too embarrassed to tell you.  My point is that she could have many reasons for not having purchased the dress yet.  As her friend, you should be concerned about her life...not just her involvement in your wedding. 

Give her a reasonable date that she needs to have her dress by and leave it at that.  Then, get together with her and don't discuss the wedding. 

KateJ10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_so-annoyed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:05786b9b-cf66-4c9f-8b15-b49efbe04e8cPost:afcfee9c-18dd-41e7-aed8-9a44cf3a87a9">Re: SO ANNOYED</a>:
[QUOTE]Give her a specific date she has to order her BM dress by and if she doesn't, tough titties for her.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

<div>Agree with this. She will be the one looking dumb if she doesn't have a dress in time. </div>

ricdaliz11

Yeah I have spoken to her about other stuff and the wedding is definitey not a 24/7 thing..even for me.  But when all you have to do is find a dress...and semi match the other person and you're not willing to even say what kinda dress you like or what you prefer, then thats a problem.

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_so-annoyed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:05786b9b-cf66-4c9f-8b15-b49efbe04e8cPost:dfd98e6b-c13b-4d03-80f6-97bdd10b3a1f">Re: SO ANNOYED</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah I have spoken to her about other stuff and the wedding is definitey not a 24/7 thing..even for me.  But when all you have to do is find a dress...and semi match the other person and you're not willing to even say what kinda dress you like or what you prefer, then thats a problem.
Posted by ricdaliz11[/QUOTE]


WAIT. Are your bridesmaids ordering matching dresses or are you letting them get whatever? because if you are letting them get whatever then you need to CHILL. Unless they are ordering dresses that take a long time to arrive, you can't be upset. If you tell your bridesmaids to get whatever they like in a specific color- you can't enforce deadlines like that!

brilibby4

When is your wedding?

AllAboutTheBenjamin

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_so-annoyed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:05786b9b-cf66-4c9f-8b15-b49efbe04e8cPost:d79df681-d70f-4a11-80c5-e447978604a9">Re: SO ANNOYED</a>:
[QUOTE]When is your wedding?
Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]

It said October in her original. More than enough time for someone to buy a dress with no specifications.

Give her a break, FOR NOW. I know if she's worried about her weight, she may just not want to try on dresses right now. I hate looking for clothes when I feel yucky about myself.

Starqueg

Give her a color, fabric, length, and store (colors vary by store a lot of the time) and let her shop when she wants.  

My MOH really couldn't care less about what dress she wears, as long as she can wear flats.  I was surprised by her reaction, but that's just her.  I can't see her emailing the other BMs about dresses or caring what they wear.

StefffiC

Maybe she really is busy with work?

ricdaliz11

Thanks Ladies for the insight..it helps.  The dress is only half the issue.  She is going to be in town for a week, june 30 to July 8th.  My sisters and other bridesmaid were trying to include her in bridal shower since she will be here then....She gives the date of July 7th that she is availble and now shes not sure if shes is going to be here that day.  Then proceeds to say she was planning something on anoher day, which she never told anyone about!! There is just no communication and she is very vague...Shes making me crazy because so low key and dont feel it has to be this difficult to make plans.

sayyestotexas

She may not want to be in the wedding anymore or is unable to financially or for some other reason and doesn't know how to say it.  I had a bridesmaid do this - stalling on the dress.  I finally hit my breaking point because it was a little over three months until the wedding and my gut just told me there was more to it.  Low and behold I received an email the same night we were out to dinner with another couple and I was getting their advice on how to handle it.  The friend backed out, saying she didn't have the guts to call me or do it face to face.  I told her it was fine, I just wanted her to be happy.  I just had one bridesmaid, let her choose whatever dress she wanted with some guidelines.  It worked out beautifully.  Now, as it turns out, she didn't like that I was getting married.  She's done this to all of us now that she's the last not to be married.  All of us have babies now too and she's really dropped all of us.  We don't know if it's jealously or based on the past year we are now all suspecting she's gay and just coming to terms with it and how her life will be different than what her family envisioned.  We just want her to be happy with who she is.  Perhaps not your situation but you never know the deep rooted reasons.

Starqueg

Yeah, she sounds a bit like my MOH.  She and another friend (not a BM) are planning my bac party.  She told me it'll be one of two days, without asking me for available dates.  I might not be free, and it's a weekend I sort of wanted to go away with my FI, so we'll have to talk about it.

brilibby4

Yeah OP, it sounds like she will have plenty of time to buy her dress. 

pirategal03

Oh yeah, if she's just buying any dress she likes then she's got tons of time.  Months.  Chill.  You knew this girl was laid back when you asked her, right?

Cortney1982

Well there is nothing you can do but let her know when the wedding is and what dress or color style she is to wear.  If this is a dress she needs to order and it takes 12 weeks to get she should get ball rolling. 

My sister my MOH didn't have ANY interest in finding a dress even though I was paying for it.  In the end I just had to order something I picked out for her to wear and it will barely be done on time.  Wedding is in 18 days and the dress should be done with alterations today.   

pirategal03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_so-annoyed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:05786b9b-cf66-4c9f-8b15-b49efbe04e8cPost:6e5780d5-4085-407b-bfdb-63219f9cee82">Re: SO ANNOYED</a>:
[QUOTE]Well there is nothing you can do but let her know when the wedding is and what dress or color style she is to wear.  If this is a dress she needs to order and it takes 12 weeks to get she should get ball rolling.  My sister my MOH didn't have ANY interest in finding a dress even though I was paying for it.  In the end I just had to order something I picked out for her to wear and it will barely be done on time.  <strong>Wedding is in 18 days and the dress should be done with alterations today.   </strong>
Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

That's not barely on time. 

whitsy

She has plenty of time, but if you're stressing about it, just go ahead and pick dresses out with the other girls, so she has a specific dress to buy within a certain time frame.

There's nothing wrong with that.