A feel good story

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:e3040ce0-fed7-4616-a130-d6bf5b504b82">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]wow I totally missed your response sorry...my bad I am not saying making less $ per yr is not humbling, but this particular story highlights how she went from a mercedes to a bmw. IMO they are both status symbols, both very nice cars, so she gave up some extra features? I can't say that is humbling. If she had to move, etc. I'd feel bad, but the article doesn't mention that this is the case.
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]
Don't you see that you're hating on her just because of her status, though?   You don't think she's lost anything because she went from a well paying job (that she most likely busted ass to get) to a not-so well paying job?  So she hasn't lost as much as you think she should have lost so she doesn't deserve the pat on the back, especially given that she made the choice to give it up for the benefit of others?  Try looking outside of your own little bubble sometimes.

Think of how much work she probably did to get where she was.  She probably earned that position and pay grade and now she's back to an entry-level salary.  That's a huge loss.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:b91acf6e-f197-4cc9-bb5e-4fc53106d5ba">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : Sounds like fun! Make sure to kitty-proof the tree. ;)
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]
The extent of my kitty-proofing is that I don't buy tinsel.  Beyond that if he's dumb enough to get up in there he better be able to figure out how to get himself out, and not chew on the lights.   Maybe he'll learn his lesson if he gets electrocuted (no, he won't.  He still burns his whiskers on candles every time I light them).

tinydancer842

I agree, but at the same time I believe this particular experience shouldn't be classified as humbling. 

humbling is defined as "to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase" 

I don't think going from one luxury car to another would be viewed by anyone else as her lowering her importance/dignity. If she views it that way I think that is a poor perspective to have. 

tinydancer842

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:a5748245-1a44-4d0b-aaf0-c653d7658e99">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : Don't you see that you're hating on her just because of her status, though?   You don't think she's lost anything because she went from a well paying job (<strong>that she most likely busted ass to get</strong>) to a not-so well paying job?  So she hasn't lost as much as you think she should have lost so she doesn't deserve the pat on the back, especially given that she made the choice to give it up for the benefit of others?  Try looking outside of your own little bubble sometimes. Think of how much work she probably did to get where she was.  She probably earned that position and pay grade and now she's back to an entry-level salary.  That's a huge loss.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

<div>That is assuming a lot.  I know plenty of well paid people who did NOT bust their ass to get where they are, in fact the exact opposite. </div>

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:2d30d05d-7dae-4bc2-82b7-b613e6dcd35f">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree, but at the same time I believe this particular experience shouldn't be classified as humbling.  <strong>humbling is defined as " to   lower   in   condition,   importance,   or   dignity;   abase"  </strong>I don't think going from one luxury car to another would be viewed by anyone else as her lowering her importance/dignity. If she views it that way I think that is a poor perspective to have. 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]
This whole story fits this definition.  You're focusing on one little sentence in the entire article.  Maybe that's why you're completely missing the point here.  Forget the car.  Look at the rest of the story.  She went from a large salary that easily paid all the bills to a low paying job, where she had to give up on a lot of the things that create those bills just to make ends meet. How is that not lowering in importance or dignity?

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:8946addf-21e7-4f4b-a6ee-b9e33aed9141">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : That is assuming a lot.  I know plenty of well paid people who did NOT bust their ass to get where they are, in fact the exact opposite. 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]
I'll stop assuming when you do.  You seem to think all she lost was a luxury car.

J&K10910

I don't automatically consider BMWs to be luxury cars.

What if it was a used, based model 3 series?

Now a tricked out 7 series, brand new?  Well, yeah.  But you don't have the details necessary to judge her for her downgrade.

tinydancer842

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:2c28239f-ee72-4f8d-bcf8-ea12f1b1186b">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : The story doesn't give you the model of the cars either. She could have went from an E class mercedes to a 325i BMW, which are about $30K apart in MSRP, that's the difference between a KIA and an a Cadillac. The label on the car does not necessarily make it nice, there are different levels. Again, she's saving $300/month on her car payment, that was the point.
Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]

<div>this depends on when she purchased her car. I know people who bought cars a few short yrs ago & the interest rates have since gone down significantly. Just because she is paying less per month doesn't mean she is receiving fewer amenities. </div>

tinydancer842

My OP wasn't about the BMW -- you guys picked that out & I am just defending what I said. I originally said that I did think it was a good thing, but at the same time I had issues with the article. 

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:2d30d05d-7dae-4bc2-82b7-b613e6dcd35f">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree, but at the same time I believe this particular experience shouldn't be classified as humbling.  humbling is defined as " to   lower   in   condition,   importance,   or   dignity;   abase"  I don't think going from one luxury car to another would be viewed by anyone else as her lowering her importance/dignity. If she views it that way I think that is a poor perspective to have. 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

This is my last comment on this, because my head is starting to bleed from hitting the desk so many times. For one second, forget about the cars, then consider that she has been "lowered in importance" from the head of her own company to working for someone else, and you can't speak to her dignity regarding her taking a paycut, not being able to provide the status quo that her kid is used to, etc. I think you are taking the term "humbled" way too literally. Also, you have some weird problem with this woman being highlighted in a news article for doing something that shows an alternate way to save a business than just laying people off.

ETA: What B said. Tiny, you are trying really hard to come up with ways that this woman doesn't deserve credit for what she did. Why?

betrothed123

Why are you trying so hard to villainize this women, Tiny?  Why can't you just recognize that what she did was selfless, and benefited the people she was trying to help a lot?

tinydancer842

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:e08edb26-0d2f-4670-907b-a7a1d04bd334">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : I'll stop assuming when you do.  You seem to think all she lost was a luxury car.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm sure if she lost her home they would have mentioned it. In my experience, these people aren't stupid -- they are not going to give up their job if they can't make ends meet & still be comfortable. </div>

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:2598da5a-e794-49d6-8ec9-a81bfe9fc2ab">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : this depends on when she purchased her car. I know people who bought cars a few short yrs ago & the interest rates have since gone down significantly. Just because she is paying less per month doesn't mean she is receiving fewer amenities. 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

But it doesn't mean she ISN'T either.  That's something you're assuming.

Look, when I first read the story I also had kind of a "oh, poor you, a BMW" reaction.  But then I thought about it, and I thought about how many people would have done the same thing in her situaiton.  I'm guessing that's a very, very small number.  She either really cares about her business, her customers, or her employees, or some combination of the three.  I think that is notable in itself, and it's definitely a feel good story.

tinydancer842

I am very synical -- most news stories only report 10% of the story. I also work with rich clients who try & claim poverty when I know they really haven't changed their lifestyles nearly as much as they say they have. 

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:0a40d4a6-fbc0-4c51-87a8-349ec83ea195">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : I'm sure if she lost her home they would have mentioned it. In my experience, these people aren't stupid -- they are not going to give up their job if they can't make ends meet & still be comfortable. 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]
Oh yes, because a home is the only other thing she could have lost.  Your completely inability to put yourself in this woman's shoes and see how noble an action she took, is shocking to me. 

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:0a40d4a6-fbc0-4c51-87a8-349ec83ea195">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : I'm sure if she lost her home they would have mentioned it. In my experience, these people aren't stupid -- they are not going to give up their job if they can't make ends meet & still be comfortable. 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

You're right, that WOULD be stupid.  I would never expect her to do that.    I don't see how the fact that she's still comfortable has anything to do with whether or not this is a feel good story, or whether or not this woman did an amazing thing. 

tinydancer842

I just enjoy looking at the story from all angles & not automatically assuming this woman is a saint. I don't believe she is a villain either. 

Please don't hurt yourself beatles -- I just enjoy a good back & forth sometimes 

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:ae8c5b95-4d40-4587-88aa-cf8515da38b3">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]I am very synical -- most news stories only report 10% of the story.<strong> I also work with rich clients who try & claim poverty when I know they really haven't changed their lifestyles nearly as much as they say they have. </strong>
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

Well this explains a lot. Maybe you should take some time off if it's making you this jaded and "synical." I'd hate to lose my appreciation for humane acts.

tinydancer842

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:0805cbec-d945-493b-9302-13438f360310">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : Well this explains a lot. Maybe you should take some time off if it's making you this jaded and "synical." I'd hate to lose my appreciation for humane acts.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

<div>I wish I could! DH is still looking for a job so I can't right now. </div>

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:cdd67cc1-5e23-474f-8e51-0dc8b82baa71">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]I just enjoy looking at the story from all angles & not automatically assuming this woman is a saint. I don't believe she is a villain either.  Please don't hurt yourself beatles -- I just enjoy a good back & forth sometimes 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

No one assumed she was a saint.  B said it was a "feel good" story, which it is.  No one said "OH MY GOD IT'S MOTHER THERESA REINCARNATED!"  They said she did a really great thing for her employees.  Which she did. 

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:ae8c5b95-4d40-4587-88aa-cf8515da38b3">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]I am very synical -- most news stories only report 10% of the story. I also work with rich clients who try & claim poverty when I know they really haven't changed their lifestyles nearly as much as they say they have. 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]
Cynical.

I get it now.  You're just vindictive and vengeful.  You can't seem to put together that having money does not automatically make someone an evil person.  The fact that you know some douchebag rich people does not mean that everyone who has money is a douchebag.  And now we're right back to you being incapable of stepping out of your bubble and viewing things from a different perspective.

Arguing in circles drives me nuts.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:cdd67cc1-5e23-474f-8e51-0dc8b82baa71">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I just enjoy looking at the story from all angles & not automatically assuming this woman is a saint.</strong> I don't believe she is a villain either.  Please don't hurt yourself beatles -- I just enjoy a good back & forth sometimes 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

And as for this, I'm calling BS.    You came in here attacking this woman.  You didn't show any objectivity in your responses.  No one here made her out to be a saint, but we do recognize the sacrifices she's made.

tinydancer842

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:f7e527b5-fe01-40ce-94b2-df2c1c9447f0">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]My boss hasn't been paying himself for a couple yrs now, but doesn't advertise it (I only know b/c the girl I work under is good friends with him personally) -- but he still runs the office. IMHO, I would have kept the same job at a lesser salary (similar to the one as a social worker) -- since I am sure she has more know how to run this business, etc. Also, am I supposed to feel bad that she had to downgrade from a mercedes to a BMW? 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

<div>How is the world does this sound like I am attacking her?</div>

tinydancer842

sorry i meant to change the s to a c before I posted. 

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:593fef0e-4ae5-4129-8a1f-1754235ac1ff">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : No one assumed she was a saint.  B said it was a "feel good" story, which it is.  No one said "OH MY GOD IT'S MOTHER THERESA REINCARNATED!"  They said she did a really great thing for her employees.  Which she did. 
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Psh, Mother Theresa never owned her own company or a luxury car. She has no idea what this woman has been through.

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:9c23fbc5-a0fb-4771-a177-a9d5658b7534">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : Psh, Mother Theresa never owned her own company or a luxury car. She has no idea what this woman has been through.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

You're right, even Mother Theresa probably would have thought this lady was an asshole.  I stand corrected.  Good day.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:8f114f1d-6108-4dfa-9a4b-471c64a1e869">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : How is the world does this sound like I am attacking her?
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]
Are you just arguing for the sake of arguing now?

You wanted to make sure we all knew you didn't feel bad for her, or think what she did was noble at all.  We get it.  You don't.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:149419d6-1d6e-4bec-aea2-11e673c3efa4">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : You're right, even Mother Theresa probably would have thought this lady was an asshole.  I stand corrected.  Good day.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

DED

tinydancer842

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel-good-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:060630fa-d9fa-400b-97e1-cce5fe905ba0Post:877dea42-0125-4d5d-8ec3-077286638dfd">Re: A feel good story</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A feel good story : Are you just arguing for the sake of arguing now? You wanted to make sure we all knew you didn't feel bad for her, or think what she did was noble at all.  We get it.  You don't.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

<div>I do love a good argument.</div><div>
</div><div>I don't feel bad for her based on this article -- I think I need more information on how her life changed besides her son's allowance & her car. I do think if the article is 100% accurate & there were no other motivations -- what she did was noble.</div>

J&K10910

I love a good argument too.  Too bad there wasn't one here.

tinydancer842

what would you call it?