Just stop

darquesam

Being rude. YOU'RE pathetic. Happy?

ReneeJacob

Trust me, it will pass. Give him some slack, let him be a jerk and be extra nice no matter how hard that may be.

SarahPLiz

Give him some slack. Communicate with him and let him be. Nagging is so unattractive. Nagging about not getting attention is just plain counterproductive. 

kimheartsscott

If I was quitting smoking and you got all up in my business, I don't think I would want to talk to you either. Leave the poor guy alone.

COkristi

I agree with pp's, let it slide. Get out of the house and do something by yourself if he's no fun to be around.

cupcakesfrosting

Would you rather him smoke, and possibly get cancer, or have to deal with a crappy attitude for a few days?

Steph0871

Why would you keep bugging him if you know he's crabby? When H is in a mood, I just let him have his space.  Everyone's allowed to be crabby once in awhile. I'd think this was especially true if they just gave up smoking.

I wouldn't know, because I've never touched a cigarette... but I've heard it affects everyone differently.  Just because it wasn't hard for you, doesn't mean he won't suffer through the withdrawals.  If it were my husband who had just quit smoking, I'd probably be really supportive of him.

By the way, "snarky'" is a lame word.

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-just-being-snarky-person?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:06afb85d-dd6e-443f-afea-e874952ef7c4Post:5a224707-be58-43b4-a897-239d38d6bdc7">Am I just being a "Snarky" person?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance just quit smoking, and he has been a real jerk in the past 72 hours that he has been without nicotine and now he is being a silent wall of nothing and I basically threw a fit... I know it is hard to quit.. I did it myself, but really?? Why would you ignore someone when they try so hard to include you in their day and their positive attitude? Now Im grumpy and plain mad over his rude demeanor... Like to the point where I don't want to be near him right now! I hate that! Am I just being too optimistic about how he will/should be after quitting?
Posted by darquesam[/QUOTE]

Um yes you are, and you aren't being very supportive. When you quit an addictive substance you aren't just all better. He's probably physically and mentally feeling like shiit right now and not really worried about your feelings. After a few months he will probably go back to his old self, but right now he's in a very bad place.

Do whatever it is that he wants you to do and if whe wants to be by himself let him. Quitting sucks and having someone getting on your case about your attitude doesn't help.

NatesGirl16

Everyone already made good points.  The only thing I would add is this.  While it's nice that you're trying to get him up and out and trying to include him, he's not in the mood for it right now.  If you think back, you probably felt the same way your first few days of quitting.  In fact, he's probably being nice by saying nothing, rather than unleashing his attitude on you. 

sister2groom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-just-being-snarky-person?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:06afb85d-dd6e-443f-afea-e874952ef7c4Post:5a224707-be58-43b4-a897-239d38d6bdc7">Am I just being a "Snarky" person?</a>:
[QUOTE]now he is being a silent wall of nothing ..I don't want to be near him right now! I hate that! Am I just being too optimistic about how he will/should be after quitting?
Posted by darquesam[/QUOTE]

Not to be flip, but if he doesn't want to talk and you don't want to be near him, there's a pretty obvious solution: just give him some space and you'll both be less frustrated.

darquesam

Steph - Dont be a B**** I used the word snarky because it was on the board. Not because Im trying to be hip.

Sesha- Again, don't be a B****. I am asking for a way to help him so obviously Im not THAT insensitive... I just don't appreciate someone lashing out when they can just ask for privacy or a massage or whatever the heck he needs.

Cupcakes - he smoked a pack a day or more for a year or more... it will take more than a few days but I am the one who encouraged him to quit so don't push that in my face.

Renee -THANK YOU!! Yes, letting it slide seems to be the option I needed to consider, and I will gladly give him some room to be grouchy, I just didnt forsee the attitude.

COkristi - thanks to you as well! I will go grocery shopping so he can have some time to himself to relax... as sad as it makes me that I am not relaxing him right now

kimheartsscott

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-just-being-snarky-person?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:06afb85d-dd6e-443f-afea-e874952ef7c4Post:d8e30c75-0372-4ccb-9bf1-c11ad282b2ed">Re: Am I just being a "Snarky" person?</a>:
[QUOTE]Steph - Dont be a B**** I used the word snarky because it was on the board. Not because Im trying to be hip. Sesha- Again, don't be a B****. I am asking for a way to help him so obviously Im not THAT insensitive... I just don't appreciate someone lashing out when they can just ask for privacy or a massage or whatever the heck he needs. Cupcakes - he smoked a pack a day or more for a year or more... it will take more than a few days but I am the one who encouraged him to quit so don't push that in my face. Renee -THANK YOU!! Yes, letting it slide seems to be the option I needed to consider, and I will gladly give him some room to be grouchy, I just didnt forsee the attitude. COkristi - thanks to you as well! I will go grocery shopping so he can have some time to himself to relax... as sad as it makes me that I am not relaxing him right now :/
Posted by darquesam[/QUOTE]

<div>A - You can say bitch.</div><div>2 - Why are you being a bitch?</div>

[Deleted User]

Oh, I see. You just wanted to be validated and not have anyone tell you that you might *gasp* be in the wrong. I get it now. Silly bitchy me.

ETA--Back at you. Don't be such a bitch, k?

maratea

Jesus Christ. I'm certain if I were your FI, I'd still be smoking. And probably drinking a lot too.

cupcakesfrosting

Troll.

Night_Sprite

Don't call people you don't know bitches when you came onto the board being an unsupportive ass.  Kthx.

pixiedust84

Hey darque don't be a bitch.

darquesam

Kimheart - Im being a "bitch" because attacking someone on a board is cowardly and completely the opposite of helpful. I asked for advice, I asked for insight. I did not ask for people to tell me I am some sort of horrible person that leads people to drinking. Freaking bitches suggest that stuff, not the kind people who deserve great things.

Dont be a bitch to me and I wont to you ... simple as that.

If you dont have some sort of constructive advice like the first few, SHUT UP! YOUR ANNOYING AND NOT HELPFUL! dont waste peoples time. Attacking people who are trying to improve is a sad, sad reality apparently.

Night_Sprite

Are you really trying to tell people on the internet not to voice their opinions?  Do you feel like that's a constructive use of your crazy person rage?

katiewhompus

Am I just being too optimistic about how he will/should be after quitting?

This is what you asked in your OP and we answered that yes, you are being too optimistic and kind of a brat. What else do you want? If you wanted ways to help coping then we could have offered those but no, you asked if you were being a "snarky" person and the honest answer is yes, you are.

[Deleted User]

Actually, my advice was constructive. It just wasn't wrapped in puppies and rainbows and filled with pretty sparkles so you flipped out.

Also, it's "you're." You're annoying. Got it?

cupcakesfrosting

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-just-being-snarky-person?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:06afb85d-dd6e-443f-afea-e874952ef7c4Post:86c012fa-4bd8-4fc1-bdb4-57330efc88ea">Re: Am I just being a "Snarky" person?</a>:
[QUOTE]Kimheart - Im being a "bitch" because attacking someone on a board is cowardly and completely the opposite of helpful. I asked for advice, I asked for insight. I did not ask for people to tell me I am some sort of horrible person that leads people to drinking. Freaking bitches suggest that stuff, not the kind people who deserve great things. Dont be a bitch to me and I wont to you ... simple as that. If you dont have some sort of constructive advice like the first few, SHUT UP! YOUR ANNOYING AND NOT HELPFUL! dont waste peoples time. Attacking people who are trying to improve is a sad, sad reality apparently.
Posted by darquesam[/QUOTE]

What are you trying to improve? I'm pretty sure the only person trying to improve is your FI. Instead of leaving the house, or doing something, and letting him just be by himself, you came on to a board, and complained about him to a bunch of strangers.

Perhaps you should have introduced yourself first?

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-just-being-snarky-person?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:06afb85d-dd6e-443f-afea-e874952ef7c4Post:86c012fa-4bd8-4fc1-bdb4-57330efc88ea">Re: Am I just being a "Snarky" person?</a>:
[QUOTE]Kimheart - Im being a "bitch" because attacking someone on a board is cowardly and completely the opposite of helpful. I asked for advice, I asked for insight. I did not ask for people to tell me I am some sort of horrible person that leads people to drinking. Freaking bitches suggest that stuff, not the kind people who deserve great things. Dont be a bitch to me and I wont to you ... simple as that. If you dont have some sort of constructive advice like the first few, SHUT UP! YOUR ANNOYING AND NOT HELPFUL! dont waste peoples time. Attacking people who are trying to improve is a sad, sad reality apparently.
Posted by darquesam[/QUOTE]
No one was attacking you, bitchlady. People were telling you to lay off your FI because quitting smoking sucks. Seeing as how this is an international board, anyone can post here and when you call people bitches, you can be sure you will get mostly negative response. And FWIW, not even my H can get me to shut up, so some insensitive jerkoff bride on a message board sure the hell won't.

pixiedust84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-just-being-snarky-person?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:06afb85d-dd6e-443f-afea-e874952ef7c4Post:86c012fa-4bd8-4fc1-bdb4-57330efc88ea">Re: Am I just being a "Snarky" person?</a>:
[QUOTE]Kimheart - Im being a "bitch" because attacking someone on a board is cowardly and completely the opposite of helpful. I asked for advice, I asked for insight. I did not ask for people to tell me I am some sort of horrible person that leads people to drinking. Freaking bitches suggest that stuff, not the kind people who deserve great things. Dont be a bitch to me and I wont to you ... simple as that. If you dont have some sort of constructive advice like the first few, SHUT UP! YOUR ANNOYING AND NOT HELPFUL! dont waste peoples time. <strong>Attacking people who are trying to improve is a sad, sad reality</strong> apparently.
Posted by darquesam[/QUOTE]

Wait isn't that what you're doing to your fi?

And actually I thought "Leave him the hell alone" was pretty great and insightful advice.

kimheartsscott

Dude, who thefuck attacked you?  Holy christ.

and the "freaking bitches" suggested "that stuff" after you went all batshit.  Not before.  When they were giving you helpful advice.

JESUS. 

Steph0871

Woah.  If I were your FI, I'd start smoking again, just for an excuse to get 5 minutes of silence outside away from you.  (see? that was bitchy)

You came onto an online forum asking for opinions.  We gave you them, without being bitchy. stfu.

NatesGirl16

I was actually quite nice for once. 

Also bitchlady made me choke on my wine! 

cupcakesfrosting

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-just-being-snarky-person?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:06afb85d-dd6e-443f-afea-e874952ef7c4Post:86c012fa-4bd8-4fc1-bdb4-57330efc88ea">Re: Am I just being a "Snarky" person?</a>:
[QUOTE]Kimheart - Im being a "bitch" because attacking someone on a board is <strong>cowardly</strong> and completely the opposite of helpful. I asked for advice, I asked for insight. I did not ask for people to tell me I am some sort of horrible person that leads people to drinking. Freaking bitches suggest that stuff, not the kind people who deserve great things. Dont be a bitch to me and I wont to you ... simple as that. If you dont have some sort of constructive advice like the first few, SHUT UP! YOUR ANNOYING AND NOT HELPFUL! dont waste peoples time. Attacking people who are trying to improve is a sad, sad reality apparently.
Posted by darquesam[/QUOTE]

Andplusalso, YOU'RE the one being cowardly by coming onto an Internet board in hopes you would get some backing up.

What were you going to say? "Some girls that don't me or you or anything about our relationship, said you're an asshole. So knock it off."

Steph0871

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_am-just-being-snarky-person?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:06afb85d-dd6e-443f-afea-e874952ef7c4Post:5a224707-be58-43b4-a897-239d38d6bdc7">Am I just being a "Snarky" person?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance just quit smoking, and he has been a real jerk in the past 72 hours that he has been without nicotine and now he is being a silent wall of nothing and I basically threw a fit... I know it is hard to quit.. I did it myself, but really?? Why would you ignore someone when they try so hard to include you in their day and their positive attitude? Now Im grumpy and plain mad over his rude demeanor... Like to the point where I don't want to be near him right now! I hate that! Am I just being too optimistic about how he will/should be after quitting? PEOPLE ... SERIOUSLY IM NOT A BITCH so STOP making me out to be one! I am asking for some helpful ideas as to BE SUPPORTIVE YOU EFFING BITCHES!! The first posters were helpful... the rest of you can suck my taffeta draped ass.  If you dont have any kind of constructive advice, get lost. Now I see why they call this the snarky board you guys are terrible minus a few... Hormonal brides much? I dont go tearing you and your inner person down, so do the WORLD a favor, and don't do it to others. It rude and it's bad karma. To those of you who were helpful, even if you were a little brutally honest, thanks. At least y'all aren't complete bitches hell bent on tearing down someone who is having a hard time with something.
Posted by darquesam[/QUOTE]

<div>JIC</div>

[Deleted User]

GUYS! SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO STOP BEING HORMONAL AND START BEING EFFING HELPFUL!

cupcakesfrosting

ZOMG GUYS!

I wonder if our SO's are ASHAMED of us. Does OP feel sorry for our SO's??