I need a reality check...

number55

Would you ladies care if your FI had a woman at his bachelor party as a guest? Does a bachelor party have to be 'boys only'? Or is it more about hanging out with his friends and if this includes women, so be it?

FWIW, this has nothing to do with me. FI has a best woman, so clearly there will be at least one woman at his bachelor party. It is just something that came up on my month board and I feel like I am the only one who doesn't care about women being at a bachelor party...

MISSCOURTNEY20

I would really not even care. If you truly trust your FI, it should not be a problem.

beatlesgirl25

I think if they are close enough friends to where said woman is being invited to the bach party, then gender shouldn't dictate whether she should be invited or not. Unless she's a clingy ex or something, then it might be weird. I guess I'd have to know more about the circumstances.

jasmineh7777

If she is close enough to be his best woman, then you obviously know her and trust her.

H had never had close female friends, so I would have found it off. On the flip side, I have many male friends. H knows them all, and he doesn't always come when we hang out.

katiewhompus

I would only care if it was an ex or someone I felt iffy about to begin with. Otherwise, eh.

number55

yeah...other than 'dressing slinky' the person in question doesn't seem to mind the woman but I think if she is that uncomfortable with it then she likely does have some sort of concerns about the chick...thing is, I don't think a bachelor party is any more likely of an event to make someone do something stupid than any other...but that's just me...

jasmineh7777

I think any time there is alcohol, the iffy factor increases.
In general, I think women can tell when another woman has bad intentions. If she has a gut feeling, there is probably a reason.

number55

yeah Jas, I can see the gut feeling thing I guess...apparently I just don't have any of those gut feelings with my FI so I guess that is why I don't really 'get it'...

SarahSmile23

is she hot like beatlesgirl? if so, she definitely wouldn't be allowed.





as long as she isn't an ex or someone who flirts with him i'd be cool with it.

katiewhompus

Eh, I think I would be a little concerned if I knew there were going to be a bunch of drunk men and 1 female elected to go. The little voice in my head would wonder what agenda she would have to be going to a party with all guys.

jasmineh7777

I think you can totally trust you husband, but still be uncomfortable with the way another woman interacts. Like, I know he wouldn't do anything, but I still don't want another woman trying. It is disrespectful and sketchy.

number55

yeah, I agree with all that, I meant more that there aren't any sketchy women in our lives so I don't really have any women to worry about when it comes to him! Lucky me I guess.

jasmineh7777

One time, I was in a show, (The Rocky Horror Show, I should have known) and was nice to an ex of H's. He came to see the show, and the girl went up to him, with me standing next to him, and gave him a hug (nbd, right?) Then she took her finger and stroked it down his stomach. Down his stomach. I almost killed a biitch.

katiewhompus

Yeah she would have been dead if that happened to Scott. I don't play nice. At the least she would be missing a finger. Who does that kind of thing? Ugh.

SarahSmile23

jasmine, omg. what a skank.

also, i find it difficult to fairly answer this because there are no women in steve's life who are closer to him than they are to me. the odds of them going to his bachelor party instead of hanging out with me are...well, none.

katiewhompus

Yeah, Scott has no female friends. He does have a few coworkers at his old store that I got funny vibes from. I made sure to visit often and make my presence known. It also helped that I was really good friends with their PCM (my position at his store) and he told them I was a badass lol.

jemmini6

It really depends on the woman.  I can only think of 1 that is close enough to my BF go to my his bachelor party, and I would have absolutely no problem with it.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]One time, I was in a show, (The Rocky Horror Show, I should have known) and was nice to an ex of H's. He came to see the show, and the girl went up to him, with me standing next to him, and gave him a hug (nbd, right?) Then she took her finger and stroked it down his stomach. Down his stomach. I almost killed a biitch.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

oh. my. god.
And I totally agree what you said about how even while trusting your FI/H, another woman trying is disrespectful.

OP, I'm with others that it really depends on the woman. But my gut reaction is that in principle, as long as she's not trying to worm her way in with FI, I don't think I'd see a problem with a groomswoman going to the bachelor party.

bethsmiles

I might be a little bit uncomfortable with it. But in the end it all comes down to trust. If you trust him you have no reason to worry.

kimheartsscott

Whenever Scott mentions the name of a guy in his stories, I go "you have a GUY friend?!"

Seriously, at least 90% of his friends are girls.  It is not a big deal at all.

PharmacyBride

It would only bother me if she isn't directly friends with FI.. and dating one of his friends.  I have seen some friends date clingy girls and I feel they just need to let their BFs hang out with the guys.  It would annoy me (not necessarily "bother" me).

If she is friends with the groom then by all means... HAVE FUN!!!

I would only be upset if the friendship involved light flirting.  Sometimes there is a spark between friends that they don't see themselves.  If I was to EVER be jealous of another girl.. it would be if I thought she was a better fit for FI than I was.  Sometimes friends can easily fit this role.

JadziaDax

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-reality-check?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b6cc68e-fee6-44b0-bc36-f34629f33584Post:143ed56a-54e4-4dcc-97f9-2b00ec777892">Re: I need a reality check...</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh, I think I would be a little concerned if I knew there were going to be a bunch of drunk men and 1 female elected to go. The little voice in my head would wonder what agenda she would have to be going to a party with all guys.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. What kind of girl would want to be the only female present at a bachelor party? Sounds odd to me.

[Deleted User]

I would be a little suspicious, why would a girl want to be at a bach party if not for "iffy" reasons? Unless she is a longtime friend and is in the WP on his side, then it's a little different. But I don't trust women anymore than I do men.

One of H's female friends used to work for him. I always found it odd because she's kind of girly and he works outside in the dirt (later decided it was because he takes his shirt off most of the time when it's hot out), and he said they never talked about dating or even going out to eat together. Then I came into the picture and suddenly she was asking him every other day to go out to eat or to see a movie, which he never did. Now, she rarely botheres to talk to him.

So yeah, I don't trust 1 woman at a party of all dudes.

Jelenny

man this is a tough one it all depends on the situation....i suppose

an ex or someone that doesn't know their limits (the fi had a co-worker that would call him ALL the time and would only hang out when I wasn't available and always declined coming over or doing stuff when invited...which was fishy) so that could be weird

but if my fi had a girl that was that close to him then fine no biggie, but knowing my fi he would probably suggest she come out with the girls...

if a girl was persistent in wanting to go that might be odd too

guess there are lots of variables to factor in

SarahPLiz

I don't care. FI's only attendant is his groomswoman. She and her BF are taking FI to SF for a b-weekend in September. If she didn't do anything, he wouldn't have any sort of party. 

betrothed123

The way I see it there were half naked women all over the strip clubs they brought my H to.  Why would it matter to me if there was a fully clothed one sitting near them?

dazed2confused

Fi's best friend is a girl too.  I don't have issue if she was at the bachelor party.  I honestly don't get it.  Unless you really don't trust the girl...but i, like you numbers, trust all the women around us...well except one, but FI is well aware of that and acts accordingly. 

vegasgroom

I think the first issue is that most women probably assume most bachelor parties mean get drunk and go to a strip club, and if that's the case, why would this other girl be going if not for inappropriate intentions.  But, strip clubs are full of women with inappropriate intentions LOL, so one extra doesn't really change things much, you either trust your man or you don't.

I have several close girl friends that I hang out with regularly, sometimes FI comes, sometimes she doesn't, but I think the type of bachelor party would really dictate whether I'd want any of them invited.  I mean some guys want to have a bachelor party where their closest friends come and they go do something they wouldn't normally do like jump out of a plane or go to a fancy restaurant, etc. and having girls and guys go would not seem that weird to me.  Other guys just want to go out and get drunk with their friends and then it would seem kind of weird to me to have a girl there becuase most likely there will be a bunch of 'guy talk' that would not be appropriate in front of a girl.  But the fiancee doesn't typically know what kind of party is being planned so I guess the answer is that there is no good answer unless you know the entire situation and then you shoudn't need the help of some web forum to determine if it's cool or not lol.