Backstory: I've been engaged since 2010 (yeah....seriously). We decided to post-pone the wedding because I am currently a Registered Nursing student and didn't want the stress of planning a wedding, so we've been doing it a little (very little) at a time to alleviate the stress. Well now that the wedding is 4 months away, my mom has went OFF HER ROCKER!!!
I've changed my mind on a few minor things (like how to display the seating chart) and she gives me the cold shoulder. She is trying to blow my budget out of the water (my parents are contributing, along with FI parent's, but we are taking the larger chunk of the bill). I did get some quotes from florists, but then my FMIL mentioned her retired florist mom would make the flower arrangements, bouquets, etc. My mother is upset I am not using a "real" florist. She wants a candy bar, I think it's a nice idea, but it's at the bottom of my list and I want to see where my budget is first. She got angry that I didn't require my bridesmaids to wear matching shoes, I told her I'd have to buy them, and I didn't want that expense, she said, "uh, no, they need to buy them, it's their responsibility"....so she's mad the girls' shoes don't match, then she did the same thing about the groomsmen, she wants them in matching shoes that aren't rentable through the tux company. The groomsmen are just wearing vests, no jackets, so she rationalized this by saying because they don't have to pay for jackets, it shouldn't matter that they have to pay for shoes.
She wants pomanders down the aisle on sheppard's hooks, I don't, I want rose petals. She's mad. I don't want to do a garter toss or bouquet toss (we are giving my bouquet to the couple who has been married the longest) she's mad. She wants me to go through a particular baking company, I picked a different one. She's mad.
The worst part is, it isn't a 'yell at me' kind of mad. It's a 'she'll ask me about things, I'll say something, she'll get short, rude, cold and kind of snobby' mad. She never says she's mad, you can just tell by her cold shoulder and her constantly giving opinions. I try to avoid wedding talk with her, but she blows me up all day asking questions, if I change the subject it comes back to wedding talk.
My mom is usually opinionated and can be hard to deal with, but she usually snaps out of it but it's usually when we (me and my siblings) do what she wants. These are subjects I am not willing to bend on. I've talked to her explaining this as nicely as possible, she hasn't talked to me since I told her she can't invite people to the shower that are not coming to the wedding and she keeps asking me about shower stuff, I say I don't know I am not planning it, contact so and so, she gets mad I wont contact them for her (she knows them, well, she doesn't like that I wont call but I think it's rude for me to get involved with the shower) It is better than her nagging and complaining to me, but it was not what I wanted, I wanted her to quit being a teenager. Do I just bite the bullet and let her be mad??? Try talking again even though I've already said what I needed to and she blew me off???
Sorry so long.
June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!