Stupid things said by husbands

katiewhompus

Stupid things said by husbands:

Watchin TLC, wife is in labor and cannot handle the pain at 2cm. She tells her husband to please go find a doctor so she can get an epidural. Husband goes "I think you would rather have a few hours of pain then an epidural." Not the thing to say during labor dude...

She is also being a wench though, so there is that

J&K10910

If FI said that to me while I was in labor, I would punch him in the junk every time I had a contraction so he could be right there with me.  And ultimately, we'd never have that problem again because he'd be unable to procreate after all was said and done.

raynes

J&K, I think that would lead to an epidural preeeettty quickly.

J&K10910

Yeah, but I don't have to worry because FI would never say that to me.  He'd be the one begging for me to get an epidural because I'm pretty sure I'd be a completely less than pleasant person to be around, even without the junk punching.

raynes

I have a feeling I will be the same way.

katiewhompus

She is being a total whiny brat, I don't know how the doctors are being so nice. The entire time she's like "Why won't anyone listen to me, why won't anyone help me. I can't do this, make the baby go away."
Finally she got an epidural...after like...2 hours since her water broke.

Yeah, I told Scott when the time comes do not say "Just breath" or "Relax" even though they will tell him to say that. I know my response will be "You have a baby and try to relax!" and get mad.

J&K10910

I'm glad I don't want children because I'm pretty darn sure I would be THE most annoying and insufferable pregnant lady ever.  And I don't think even the doctors would want to be around me during labor. 

kristen8040

Ok soo this isn't so much that my FI is a guy and doesn't understand women but more that he got by in high school, because of sports, partied in college, and is going back to complete his bachelors at age 28.

While working on his first papers due this week:

FI: So you see babe, that's why the south succeeded.

Me: You mean seceded? 

Working on another paper:

Me: Honey, why did you copy it out of the book?

FI: I copied it out of the book because it was exactly what the document said to prove there were people for pro-slavery, that's how roe vs. wade got decided.

Me: You mean the Dred-Scott decision?

Bless his heart, I think he got hit in the head with too many balls as a kid.

[Deleted User]

My DH didn't know what "smitten" meant. My grandpa said something about him being completely smitten with me and he got all defensive and said it was an equal relationship and we treated each other fairly. Apparently he thought "smitten" meant "my bitch."

stephl3055

DH and I were watching some game or trivia show the other day and the answer was George Washington.  DH got really excited and yelled out the answer, "It's George Bushington!" 

I cracked up laughing immediately and it took him a while to figure out that he goofed up the last name.  I bring it up often because I'm mean. 

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-said-husbands?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0dca0373-4c15-4d9f-9a6d-6482be0bef50Post:762d79b1-cc9b-4b70-b303-5a3b285effeb">Re: Stupid things said by husbands</a>:
[QUOTE]She is being a total whiny brat,<strong> I don't know how the doctors are being so nice.</strong>
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

Because they're on TV.

jasmineh7777

I put on an old dress, and didn't know how it looked. He is always honest, but sometimes not the best with words.

"Does this dress look okay?"
"Well, you don't look that fat?
A simple yes or no would have worked.

nda_roxybabe

Um...I'm embarrassed to say this but, T thought islands.....floated. As in, water runs underneath them. Yeaaaa...

FutureMrsFraser

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-said-husbands?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0dca0373-4c15-4d9f-9a6d-6482be0bef50Post:6783a1d4-944e-41bf-bbd6-e77983664cd0">Re: Stupid things said by husbands</a>:
[QUOTE]Um...I'm embarrassed to say this but, T thought islands.....floated. As in, water runs underneath them. Yeaaaa...
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

this made me laugh.

jasmineh7777

Ha! That is kinda cute, Roxy.

nda_roxybabe

He finally further explained what he meant, I think he understands but I'm not 100%. He is silly.

shellydiane820

Nick will just pronounce things wrong.

We were at B&N one day and he wanted a "Go-Diva" hot chocolate.

There have been others but that was recent so I remember.

nda_roxybabe

Go diva, hahaha! I love it.
T also didnt know who Pollyanna was and he thinks I made up the word "squalor"

Nebb

My husband says stupid things all the time, and its an endless source of amusement for me.

One day we were driving down the street and saw a big sign outside of a home hardware that was advertising a sale on miter saws. He turns and looks at me with this look of total disdain and goes "they spelled meter wrong!". I had to try to explain to him what a miter saw was while gasping for air I was laughing so hard. Just the look on his face when he said that, as though they were SO stupid as to have spelled it wrong.

kpwedkk

H asked "Have you seen crunching tigers, hid den drag ons?"   Um... Crunching?

skippylouwho

So friends were having their baby. Wife was saying something, husband trying to be helpful talking to her trying to get her to do breathing techniques. He was standing up behind the bed leaning over and saying them to her. She reached up, wrapped her arm around his neck and lifted him off his feet when she jerked him towards her. She held him up over the top of the bed until the contraction passed and then pretty much hissed at him "I told you not to say anything".....

jasmineh7777

Okay,not my H, but my dad says ridiculous things all the time.
He was helping my little brother spell with sidewalk chalk.
Dad spelled dogs "doges" and tulips "tulipes." He doesn't get to help him spell anymore.

ehathewa

I was talking about my upcoming wedding shower with my best friend and she said something about presents.  My FI perked up from accross the room and said: "What?!?  You get presents?!?" 

He had no idea that you recieved gifts at a shower.  It was pretty funny. 

Lenore2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-said-husbands?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0dca0373-4c15-4d9f-9a6d-6482be0bef50Post:47c5debd-2328-4f66-9e07-0100fb642bd2">Re: Stupid things said by husbands</a>:
[QUOTE]My DH didn't know what "smitten" meant. My grandpa said something about him being completely smitten with me and he got all defensive and said it was an equal relationship and we treated each other fairly. <strong>Apparently he thought "smitten" meant "my bitch."
</strong>Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

That is adorable :)

katiewhompus

These made me laugh

Scott occasionally yells at me for using "big words" that he doesn't understand. I'm never sure if he's serious or joking. He's definitely a hands on type guy (dropped out of college to join the Marines) whereas I'm an academic junkie.

LedZeppelin

I think in our relationship I am the one who more commonly says dumb things. I can't think of any good example right now, though.

I will give FI credit because he was amazing while I was in labor. He just keep telling me how well I was doing. He did remind me to breathe, but not in the obnoxious "do your breathing exercises" kind of way. Just in the way "you're holding your breath, and need to breathe kind of way." and BTW, I got an epidural and it was fantastic!

jasmineh7777

I don't think I could ever let a dr. put a needle in my spine. I am so terrified of shots.

missy68

When I had my bike "mishap" (we won't call it an accident, since I remained upright, thankyouverymuch) two weeks ago, J kept saying to me, "but WHY did you veer to the left? WHY did you go off the trail?"

If I'd had my wits about me (I was in tears, of course), I would've said, if I KNEW why, I wouldn't have done it, now would I?"

My actual answer was, I'm a leftie - everything I do I trend left. True, but the actual thing is that I got scared when I realized 2 bikers were coming straight at me because I was on the wrong side of the trail, and I didn't want to jerk the wheel to the right on gravel. And wreck.

GreenPepperBurger

One time BF and I were on the bus, and we passed a doctor's office. BF asks me: "What's a poe-dee-at-tryst?" And I respond, "you mean a podiatrist?"

And then at our senior prom, he thought all the girls got their hair and makeup done the day before. Because a shower and a good night's sleep wouldn't ruin it or anything.

Men.

saxy414

FI once asked me why the Addams family was Hispanic...you know, because their last name is "Gomez."  I just stared at him for a second until he realized their last name was, in fact, Addams.  As they are the Addams Family. 

He also told me he was going to get a t-shirt made that said "I did this" and wear it while I was in labor.  I told him I would probably not find the humor in that.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-said-husbands?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0dca0373-4c15-4d9f-9a6d-6482be0bef50Post:d2707da5-3683-46a8-a79d-2b011290932e">Re: Stupid things said by husbands</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think I could ever let a dr. put a needle in my spine. I am so terrified of
shots.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

The scariest thing to me is that they tell you not to move, but every contraction literally makes you double over in pain. I was so afraid that I'd jerk just as they were going in. I'm sure that doesn't help your fear, lol. It was worth it, though, because after that I got a little sleep until it was time to push.