Snarky Brides

fiance cant afford ring!?!!!

my boyfriend took me ring shopping and we picked out my ring.  he said he was going to go back to pick out the diamond.  he has more than half the cash saved.  so he picked out the diamond and applied for a loan for the rest and was denied!!!!!!!!!!!  it's because he has never had a credit card and has no credit!  he doesn't know what to do because he doesnt have the money to pay in full and wants to get more cash from his inheritance from his gma or ask his parents.  i told him i could help but he wont let me.  dont know what to do?
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Re: fiance cant afford ring!?!!!

  • Have him buy a ring he can afford?

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  • lapcanlapcan member
    10 Comments
    Try buying a ring that's affordable...it's what grownups do.
  • Please don't allow him to finance a ring, but if you do, consider it a blessing that he was denied credit by the jewelry store.  Retail credit cards have astronomical interest rates.  Go online and find a credit card that offers 0% interest for 6 months or 12 months and apply for it.  If those don't exist anymore, find the lowest rate possible.  Read all the fine print, make sure there is no annual fee and make sure it gets paid off before interest gets assessed because they can assess interest back to day one.  Make sure it gets paid every single month on time because if it doesn't, they're going to cancel the promotion and charge him interest. 
  • There are many ways to address the ring issue, but more importantly he should start establishing credit.  Adults need credit.  If he's a student, there are special introductory cards.  This will matter if you ever need to finance a car or a house someday.
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  • You can be engaged without a ring. He can ask, and you can accept, and then he can save up for the ring like a grownup.

    Delayed gratification is a very important thing to master to create a sound financial future.

    Don't add debt to start a relationship. Grow up and save for what you need and pay cash.
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  • If he doesn't have credit, but has most of the cash saved, he may need some more time to save the rest of the cash.  Relax!

    Also... he really should get a credit card to start building a credit rating.  If he can't get a loan for a ring, he will probably have trouble getting loans for cars, or a house... and since you're marrying him this also affects you.  Get that boy a VISA and tell him to be responsible.
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  • Also, from the fact that he applied for credit and was denied, I'm assuming this is a big mall chain jewelry store.  Consider finding a similar ring elsewhere because it will likely be much less and then you won't have to worry about financing half of it.  I recommend shopping local jewelers, and other knotties have had great luck online with companies like BlueNile. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fiance-cant-afford-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f3c518d-fdc3-499a-91b2-64d27553c7aaPost:da8c6792-ac2b-4563-b2f6-a6c399917ae8">Re: fiance cant afford ring!?!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Please don't allow him to finance a ring, but if you do, consider it a blessing that he was denied credit by the jewelry store.  Retail credit cards have astronomical interest rates.  Go online and find a credit card that offers 0% interest for 6 months or 12 months and apply for it.  If those don't exist anymore, find the lowest rate possible.  Read all the fine print, make sure there is no annual fee and make sure it gets paid off before interest gets assessed because they can assess interest back to day one.  Make sure it gets paid every single month on time because if it doesn't, they're going to cancel the promotion and charge him interest. 
    Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.</div><div>
    </div><div>And if that doesn't work, get a ring he can afford or be engaged without one.</div>
  • A couple (of the better) options:
    1.  Pick out a cheaper ring.  He can always upgrade the diamond or something for a wedding or anniversary gift if it's that important to BOTH OF YOU.
    2.  He can save for longer.

    Really silly to go into debt buying a piece of jewelry.  Would you want him to go into debt buying you a birthday present?  No?  Why is this any different?  It's a symbol of starting your life together--do you want that symbol to be represented by debt?  Yikes.

    And I agree with PP--credit is important.  What if he needs a new car?  What if you guys want a house?  Do you want mommy and daddy to have to cosign your mortgage?  Yikes again.  Get that man a good, low interest, no annual fee credit card (check out your bank's options--that's where I got my first credit card that I love and still use.) ASAP.



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  • Buy a ring he can afford. Going into debt over a ring is ridiculous.
  • Either wait and save up the money or buy a ring you can pay cash for.  We opted to wait since we didn't believe in financing a ring.  We managed to save the money in a little over a month.

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  • woodiewoodie member
    100 Comments
    You know, back in the old days, a man didn't dare propose marriage until he was established financially and could afford a wife and family. 
    It sounds like your boyfriend is not ready to be husband.  If he can't afford a ring, has no savings,  and can't get credit, then how the heck does he plan to do anything else in life, like buy a car, house, honeymoon, etc? 
    It's a good thing he couldn't afford the ring. It's giving you a chance to really think about whether you should get married 1, to this guy or 2, at this stage of your life.

    YMMV, K
  • I think going into the red for anything WR is a bit ridiculous...who wants to start out a marriage like that?  Not I.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fiance-cant-afford-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f3c518d-fdc3-499a-91b2-64d27553c7aaPost:ba0145bb-ef76-477a-b63c-2aa556da6181">fiance cant afford ring!?!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]my boyfriend took me ring shopping and we picked out my ring.  he said he was going to go back to pick out the diamond.  he has more than half the cash saved.  so he picked out the diamond and applied for a loan for the rest and was denied!!!!!!!!!!!  it's because he has never had a credit card and has no credit!  he doesn't know what to do because he doesnt have the money to pay in full and wants to get more cash from his inheritance from his gma or ask his parents.  i told him i could help but he wont let me.  dont know what to do?
    Posted by bonnbonn4[/QUOTE]

    1. Don't let him finance a ring, starting your marriage off in debt over your wedding is just foolish.

    2. Choose a ring he can afford, like the rest of the adults in this world.

    3. Most importantly, You should suggest that your fiance get a credit card to establish some credit, that doesn't mean get a credit card and pay for your ring with it either. If he's an adult, he should be thinking about this.
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  • Just tell him that he should wait until he has the money. My FI took about a year to save up. You don't "have" to have it at this moment.

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  • Like PP, more important than the diamond, your FI needs credit!  I agree with trying to get one through your bank first.  That's the card I use monthly and pay off. It gives me great rewards and keeps my credit active.

    If you two do decide to finance the ring, look for those great incentives and pay it off in time to avoid paying even more for it in finance and interest charges.  FI put part of mine on his card and paid it off in six months with a bonus check he knew was coming.  In my opinion, charging some of your ring isn't irresponsible as long as you have a short-term plan to pay it off.
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  • Not a good sign that you are already panicked about money issues before the ring is even on your finger.  Sounds like you two need to sit down and examine both your situations - you are going to need to be on the same page. 

    I'm not saying don't marry him - it actually sounds like he is financially responsible - operating on a cash basis means only buying what you can afford.  However, he will need to establish a line of credit for future large purchases. 
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  • ok maybe we dont have all the facts here.... but I think you are missing the bigger picture. If he cannot afford the ring.. what else can't he afford? Marriage isn't all about money obviously but starting a marriage before you have established yourself is going to put a strain on yuor relationship. If he's struggling with the ring- either get engaged without it or take some time and save up. If you love eachother there is nothing wrong with waiting.

    FH and I have been together for 7 years.. since high school. At 21 and again at 23 I thought we were ready. He smartly did not and forced us to wait. We are 25 now.. more in love than ever and in a place where we can start our life as husband and wife on solid ground...

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  • Step 1- Pull both of your credit reports
    Step2- Pay for the score
    Step3- Sit down and discuss your financial situation
    Step4- Re-evulate your needs for a ring
    Step 5- Explore getting credit-- If need be, with a secured loan

    Do not skip steps.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fiance-cant-afford-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f3c518d-fdc3-499a-91b2-64d27553c7aaPost:28d7c166-b419-4041-909e-c677d77c893b">Re: fiance cant afford ring!?!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]ok maybe we dont have all the facts here.... but I think you are missing the bigger picture. <strong>If he cannot afford the ring.. what else can't he afford?</strong>Marriage isn't all about money obviously but starting a marriage before you have established yourself is going to put a strain on yuor relationship. If he's struggling with the ring- either get engaged without it or take some time and save up. If you love eachother there is nothing wrong with waiting. FH and I have been together for 7 years.. since high school. At 21 and again at 23 I thought we were ready. He smartly did not and forced us to wait. We are 25 now.. more in love than ever and in a place where we can start our life as husband and wife on solid ground...
    Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]

    <p>It also depends on how much the ring costs.  Where they stand financially compared to this purchase depends on the amount of the purchase.  If we're talking two or three thousand dollars or less, then that says one thing about FI's cash flow.  However, if we're talking ten or twelve thousand, that says something very different.</p>
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  • Also, if you can't afford a ring are you gonna be able to afford a wedding?  I mean the JP is cheap, but something else to consider. 
  • Maybe he's not ready to propose to you if he can't afford a ring. Or get a cheaper ring that won't put him into debt. Personally, I think nothing is worth going into debt over, unless it is a house (mortgage) or education.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fiance-cant-afford-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f3c518d-fdc3-499a-91b2-64d27553c7aaPost:930daee2-2c80-4551-b13f-4d67c630519c">Re: fiance cant afford ring!?!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You know, back in the old days, a man didn't dare propose marriage until he was established financially and could afford a wife and family.  It sounds like your boyfriend is not ready to be husband.  If he can't afford a ring, has no savings,  and can't get credit, then how the heck does he plan to do anything else in life, like buy a car, house, honeymoon, etc?  It's a good thing he couldn't afford the ring. It's giving you a chance to really think about whether you should get married 1, to this guy or 2, at this stage of your life. YMMV, K
    Posted by woodie[/QUOTE]
    I'm sorry, but I don't agree with you. It's not the "old days" anymore. I don't think just because he can't finance an engagement ring at this moment that she should be second guessing her decision to marry this guy. Just because he has no credit does not me they shouldn't be getting married. How can you possibly read into this post so much that your advice is to not get married? For all you know she could be looking at a $50,000 ring and he doesn't happen to have another $25,000 in the bank.

    OP, if the ring is an important part of the engagement to you I would say for the time being, pick a ring that is within his budget. Then later you can upgrade the diamond, or get a new ring all together if you want to. It's not a good idea to go into debt just for a what is ultimately a piece of jewelry. Like other posters said, it would be a good idea for him to get a small credit card now to start building credit, but by no means should you finance a piece of jewelry. HTH
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
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    edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fiance-cant-afford-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f3c518d-fdc3-499a-91b2-64d27553c7aaPost:c86ba7fd-6dab-4a59-9c28-ea69029342b1">Re: fiance cant afford ring!?!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Maybe he's not ready to propose to you if he can't afford a ring</strong>. Or get a cheaper ring that won't put him into debt. Personally, I think nothing is worth going into debt over, unless it is a house (mortgage) or education.
    Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

    Say what now?  That's ridiculous.  Now if OP was saying she wants a $5 ring, and her bf is saying "I CAN'T AFFORD THAT!!!!!!" I'd agree.  But just because he can't pay for it doesn't he mean he doesn't WANT to.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fiance-cant-afford-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f3c518d-fdc3-499a-91b2-64d27553c7aaPost:35eb0eae-718b-4396-bc8e-5679815a6a82">Re: fiance cant afford ring!?!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: fiance cant afford ring!?!!! : Say what now?  That's ridiculous.  Now if OP was saying she wants a $5 ring, and her bf is saying "I CAN'T AFFORD THAT!!!!!!" I'd agree.  But just because he can't pay for it doesn't he mean he doesn't WANT to.
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
    This!!
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  • My FI saved for a ring for 3 years!  It drove me crazy, because I am not a materialistic person .. so ring size didn't matter as much to me.. but wanting to be engaged started driving me insane (I am not very patient.. lol).

    In the end.. FI got the ring he wanted to get me and didn't go in debt to afford it.. I am eventually getting married to him... so it all worked out.

    Waiting to afford the ring SUCKS... it does.. but this is what most people do.
  • I meant financially ready, not emotionally ready. Sorry if it's a hard pill to swallow, but the finance situation will only become tenser as the years go on. It's not smart to start off on the wrong foot. Why is there a rush to get engaged? Just wait until he can afford the ring you want.
  • Umm I'm way more concerned with the fact that your soon-to-be FI has absolutely no credit. It takes awhile to build it up so you need to talk to him about that stat. You both will run into many roadblocks down the road if he doesn't get this in check.

    Now that being said, either buy a ring he can afford and or don't get a ring at all and wait until he has the money to get one.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fiance-cant-afford-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f3c518d-fdc3-499a-91b2-64d27553c7aaPost:2da86da2-e974-4586-b8f8-584c9bd415a9">Re: fiance cant afford ring!?!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]For all you know she could be looking at a $50,000 ring and he doesn't happen to have another $25,000 in the bank.
    Posted by amlaplante[/QUOTE]

    Someone with $25k cash in the bank would get approved for a high interest credit line at a jewelry store pretty easily; so I very much doubt that's their issue.

    Sounds like even if they are emotionally ready to get married, there are some other things that need to be stabilized first.  Unless he buries his cash in a coffee can in the back yard, very few people that are older than 18 don't have any credit these days.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fiance-cant-afford-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0f3c518d-fdc3-499a-91b2-64d27553c7aaPost:f906cc91-6c01-4c16-80b5-9ed8d63615fc">Re: fiance cant afford ring!?!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: fiance cant afford ring!?!!! : Someone with $25k cash in the bank would get approved for a high interest credit line at a jewelry store pretty easily; so I very much doubt that's their issue. Sounds like even if they are emotionally ready to get married, there are some other things that need to be stabilized first.  Unless he buries his cash in a coffee can in the back yard, <strong>very few people that are older than 18 don't have any credit these days.</strong>
    Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

    Not necessarily. My BF is just shy of 21 and has a very good credit score, yet he still won't be able to afford the ring I like for a while.
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