Snarky Brides

I love my H, buts...

He won't do any phone calling.  I arrived home on Monday and as a walk in the door:H: "I have some bad news but it's really not fault."Me: "What!?"H: "Cable/phone/internet are all out."ME: "Why would that be your fault?  Did you call Comcast?"H: "Uhm, no."Me: "Sigh, ok, I'll call as soon as I get my shoes off and put my bag down."So I call.  Then Comcast was supposed to call him to confirm and didn't.  I say he should call then and he gets all pouty, "Really, ok, I'll try but I'm going to be in the library this morning.  Pause... Could you?"  Yeah, sure, I'm just going to be at work. He's going out of town today.  He calls from O'Hare to say his CC was declined in the taxi and asks me to call Mastercard.  "Um, you could have called them instead of me and they won't tell me anything anyway b/c my name isn't on the card."  Pause.  "Could you try?"  So I call, and of course they won't tell me shiit and I call him back to call.  "Well...maybe I'll do it later; we're boarding soon."  "Do it NOW.  It took 3 minutes. And add me to card so the next time I have to deal with this we won't have this issue."Last night I'm in bed and he comes out of the bathroom and says that the sink is leaky, "Could you call maintenance tomorrow?  I hate for you to have to handle that."  Wha?  Let's not kid.  Even if you were in town, I'd be the one handling it.Your H complaints?
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Re: I love my H, buts...

  • I can't say I'm tired without it turning into a contest.  Last night, I had a long, long day at work (we had a fatality on site plus various other time consuming things), then got home and primed and painted the crown molding and trim in our bedroom.  When I was finishing up, he came in and I said I was tired.  He starts going off about he got up at 3 and hasn't slept since them, and I sleep 3 hours later than him.Dude, you get off work at 2 pm at the latest (sometimes 9 am).  I don't get home until 6.  Do the math and take a fukking nap if you're tired.

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    The nerve!
    House | Blog
  • He takes pictures constantly, like he has to document every inch of this city.
  • Fallin, my H is the same.  He lost his wallet once and needed to cancel his credit cards, he asked me to call, but of course since my name isn't on the card they needed to speak to him, I hand him the phone and he confirms it's his card and gives consent to let me handle it and hands the phone back to me.  Are you foffing kidding me? sometimes he's as useless as tits on a bull.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • He works from home while watching Andy.  Especially lately, he has very little work to do.  Therefore he is pretty much a full time stay at home dad. For some reason, he finds it absolutely impossible to multi-task.  If the diapers run out in the little basket, he gets the box of diapers and leaves it on the floor in the middle of Andy's room until I get home and put it away.  All of Andy's toys are covering the floors of every room.He rarely empties the dishwasher.  He stuffs trash upon trash until the bag is ripped and the can is overflowing.  But if I start taking it out, he rushes in and says, "Oh, you don't need to do that.  It's boys work."  Well, then, work boy.When leaving for work the other day, I opened the windows in the bedroom to get fresh air in.  He says, "You know I'm just going to have to close those when it starts to rain."  1. It never starts raining until at least noon.  2. The house is stuffy and needs air.  3. Close the freaking windows when it starts to rain.  It's not that hard.I feel I need to add a disclaimer here.  He's a great dad, and I am very proud of how much he does. 
  • He rarely empties the dishwasher. He stuffs trash upon trash until the bag is ripped and the can is overflowingVinny, we could be married to the same man.  He will put dishes in the dishwasher but if he knows it has to be emptied, he leaves his dishes in the sink. I keep telling him he is capable of emptying the dishwasher.  This especially irritates me if he pulls this crap when he has a day off and I'm at work.
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  • Fallin, does your H have a phone phobia? I admit I don't like making those type calls either especially if something is broken and they ask technical questions I'm clueless about. But sometimes you just have to suck it up. Did he have his mom make his doctor appointments for him until you got married? My H doesn't know how to end a cell phone call especially with certain people. We could be in the car or in the middle of watching something and he takes a call. Then he just lets them talk and talk even after telling them where we are or what we're in the middle of. How hard is it to say "I gotta go." or "my wife is shooting death lasers out of her eyes, I'll call you later." But at least he doesn't do that when we're out to eat, we had loud cell phone talker near us at the Melting Pot the other night. I wanted to stab te guy with my fondue fork.
    I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
  • Yeah, Exp.  When I'm pregnant there will be lots of "I'm growing your child in here!" with glowering faces.

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    The nerve!
    House | Blog
  • In order to get him to complete any task, I have to (a) ask him on the phone or in person, then (b) send him a reminder email.  Neither one alone is sufficient, ever. His handwriting is absolutely illegible and he refuses to slow down and write more clearly.  He claims that he permanently injured his wrist playing tennis when he was ten, and writing any other way causes him pain.  This is pure bullsh!t.He speaks too loudly on the phone.  If I'm around when he's on the phone with someone,  I have to give him the death stare and say "you're yelling!" to get him to lower his voice.  
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  • Jimmy does not retain locations of household items.  Just last night we got into an argument because as I'm getting into bed, he screams up from the kitchen "where are the plastic cups?"  I, of course, reply "In the cabinet where we've kept plastic cups since we moved into the house." This, apparently, was not what he wanted to hear.  But it happens constantly.  "Jimmy, could you pease grab me the sugar?"  "Okay.  where do we keep sugar?"  Seriously?
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    3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
    Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
    I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
    It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
  • KayRIKayRI member
    First Comment
    Every week before I go grocery shopping I ask if there's anything he needs.  The answer is always no.  Then I ask if he's noticed we're running out of anything I should add to the list.  Not that I've noticed, he says. Then I come home and realize he's taken the last garbage bag or put an empty milk carton back in the fridge.  Or he asks if I got the seltzer he likes.  I say no, you said you didn't want anything, and he tells me to just always assume he wants seltzer.  And pickles.
  • If I'm around when he's on the phone with someone, I have to give him the death stare and say "you're yelling!" to get him to lower his voice.Jimmy does this too.  It's like that scene in Meet Me In St. Louis where Rose is on the phone with her boyfriend, and they yell as if it's the only way he'll hear her from New York.
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    3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
    Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
    I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
    It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
  • Groomz reminded me: On the rare occassion H empties the dishwasher, he puts things in ridiculous places. Really? You don't know where we keep things? You live here.  Also kitchen related:  everytime I ask him what he wants for dinner he asks "What are my options?"  You are in the kitchen. Open the fridge, the cabinets, the freezer and there are your options.  It's like he expects me to read him the specials or something. 
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  • Another phone related complaint, if we're in the house and he's on the phone, he paces back and forth from room to room. I think this annoys me because when I lived at home my brother constantly did this and didn't walk quietly.
    I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
  • In order to get him to complete any task, I have to (a) ask him on the phone or in person, then (b) send him a reminder email. Neither one alone is sufficient, ever.This is my H.  He will even write it down on a to do list, and it still won't get done half the time.  He also doesn't like to make it seem like he's impatient when calling to ask people something.  However, he still needs one textbook for a class he is teaching this fall(well 3 of the same really).  He has emailed and called his boss, and she hasn't gotten back to him.  He refuses to call her again, because maybe she is on vacation.  Dude the class starts in one month and you really don't know what the curriculum is yet.  I think this would be cause to call her every day until you get a response.It's also pulling teeth to try to get him to call his friends to get together.  He waits until the day before then acts all upset when they are busy. People plan things in advance,you need to call them earlier in the week!ok vent over.
  • Fallin, my husband does something similar, except with checks.If he needs to write out a check (union dues, for example), he tells me, "Hon, I need you to write a check for me." When I remind him that his name is on the check, too, he complains about having messy handwriting and can't do it.  I'll admit that I often put off writing out his checks, because he's perfectly able to do it himself.
  • When we lived together in NY, we'd order from a website and have our groceries delivered.  He refused to do the ordering.  And when I'd ask what he wanted for the week, he'd say, "get me stuff to snack on.  You know what I like."Me:  "Cherries?  Pizza bites?  A box of cookies?"Him:  "No.  Just other snack stuff."Me:  "How about you look at the website and pick things for yourself?"Him:  "I don't know what to pick, I just want snacks."
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  • Zane paces while on the phone too. And, he'll come sit in the living room where I am reading, or watching tv, or what have you and talk on the phone. Then, he attempts to turn down the tv, stereo, etc. Dude, there are several other rooms where you could be having this conversation. Touch the remote and die.
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  • My H gripe was posted yesterday. But another one I have is he rarely cleans but thinks he is the neatest person ever. And he eats in bed.
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    For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
  • KayRIKayRI member
    First Comment
    My H will empty the dishwasher, but anything that's big or requires any effort to put away, he'll leave on the counter for me to put away.
  • My H will unload the dishwasher but won't load it for fear of "messing it up."  Dude, it's empty, just put the cereal bowl in there.  Also, how many times does one person have to be asked to wipe the pb off the knife before putting it in water in the sink?  Wet pb is so f'ing gross.
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  • I want to marry Groomz for the Meet Me in St Louis reference.I will see all of your complaints and raise you a "Doesn't take criticism well and will deny all of these behaviors until he's blue in the face and I want to smother him with a pillow."
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    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • If I'm around when he's on the phone with someone, I have to give him the death stare and say "you're yelling!" to get him to lower his voice.nOT ONLY DOES THIS HAPPEN, HE NEEDS TO Sit right beside me while on the phone.   He and his family cannot plan anything.   His out of town cousins are coming to visit.  First it was going to be Saturday night, then Thursday night.   We invited his family which meant a party of 16.   Good thing I didn't shop because they won't be arriving until at least 9pm.   If they think we will now be having a BBQ tomorrow night or Saturday night they are SO FECKING mistaken.  It's a long weekend you idiots, plan ahead.
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  • Oh, and Andy's methos of cleaning is "out of sight, out of mind" therefor I have to call him at work to find out where he's put stuff and most of the time he still has no idea so we have to buy a new one of whatever it is I'm looking for.
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  • If my H is on the phone with his mother or one of his sisters he ends with "Here, want to talk to Bermuda? I'll put her on"   I had to resort to threatening his life if he ever does this again. I hate the phone. If I wanted to talk to someone, I would call them.  Don't volunteer me for a phone conversation.
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  • Wet pb is so f'ing gross. It is second in grossness only to wet bloated cereal in a bowl in the sink. I get both regularly.
  • Whenever we get into a fight before he has to go to work he always says, "I hope I don't die tonight" as he's walking out the door.  (He's a cop.)  Even though he's right, it's a pretty sh!tty, manipulative thing to say.
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • wow. that is extremely manipulative.
  • Zane paces while on the phone too. And, he'll come sit in the living room where I am reading, or watching tv, or what have you and talk on the phone. Then, he attempts to turn down the tv, stereo, etc. Dude, there are several other rooms where you could be having this conversation. Touch the remote and die.Yes! This pisses me off so much
  • [i]I want to marry Groomz for the Meet Me in St Louis reference.[/i] In what state is it possible to have a three way marriage? I want to move there.
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  • ftnupsftnups member
    First Comment
    The guy couldn't find his asss with both hands and a flashlight for ffs. Directionally challenged would be putting it mildly. He can't park by himself or else we can never find the car. One time after Christmas shopping I had to leave him standing in the middle of the mall parking lot with all the bags so I could go find the car....that HE had parked without me. It was nowhere near where he thought it was, by the way. During ATH season, everything is a federal case that requires him to defeat me to the point of total capitulation. If we go out in the morning to run or breakfast or somewhere else requiring minimal or no interaction with others, he usually doesn't brush his teeth. I HATE THIS SO MUCH. But he gets all butt hurt if I say anything.
    image Guess who?
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