Long distance engagement

Stallmanj1

My Fi and I are 21 (engaged this last Christmas), and we will be married this July. (Been together over 4 years, about a third of it while we were in different states.)  Both of us have been both living at home and living at school through college.  I am in my last year at college (in Iowa), and my Fi is making his way through his first year of graduate school (in Texas).  Nether of us fly for free, and he doesn't get a lot of time off because of his research fellowship, so we'll see each other for a week or two at Christmas, maybe Thanksgiving, and then the week before the wedding and the honeymoon.  Then we move in together, in Houston, where I plan to go to graduate school too (we're both science geeks).  Both of our families live here in Iowa.  We talk all the time on Skype (thank God for miraculous technology), but our unique situation throws a unique spin on the wedding planning, and my sanity during it.  I was looking for any advice about wedding planning with him long distance like this - keeping him involved and keeping all the mothers and aunts happy.  They both don't want to step on anyone's toes, but they have very strong opinions on how some things should be done and they tell me, assuming I'll agree with them.  They're doing a great job of not trying to overwhelm me, but sometimes it happens anyway.  Any other advice would also be greatly appreciated!

Kamikaze3

Does anyone fly for free? Even if you work for an airline you only get a discount. That was a odd statement. Anyway, I have no advice for planning but I would advise you to have your family stop putting in their two cents about details unless you specifically ask for their opinion. That is going to make your stress level rise and it is your wedding, not theirs.

Stallmanj1

My former college roommate and her family fly for free on American, her dad is a pilot.  That's what made me think about it - the issue is that, though my fiance can't take time off to vsit me, I have the time to visit him - but it may not be a good economical choice.

notquiteblushing

I frequently fly for free as my FI flies often enough to get us free flights.  But besides all that, I live with my FI and he's only marginally involved in wedding planning.  I keep him in the loop through emails that he can check at his leisure.  Not that there's much to plan really.  We picked all the big stuff already and now we're just saving up the cash.  What do you still need to do?  Come on over to the July 2010 board and you'll get some help.  As for the mothers and aunts, try to listen to their ideas and thank them.  People like to think they have the most original creative ideas.  Just smile and nod.

notquiteblushing

Here's a link to the 7/10 board: http://talk.theknot.com/boards/ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=592

windrilene

I agree w/ pp- narrow it down, email him the top contenders, and be prepared to make executive decisions when he says he doesn't care. I am in a near identical situation since I stayed home in TX when FI got stationed in NY, and is about to come home from Iraq and get out of the Army, and we haven't been in the same state for more than 2 weeks at a time in 3 years.  It is really hard, but not impossible. I would also reccomend asking local friends and family to go with you to see vendors if you want another opinion, especially if they know your FI's tastes. Take lots of pictures, and talk to him about it. As for the helpful family, if you want to involve them, pick a project they can do that you don't really care about if you want to keep them at a distance. Or, if you want to help them feel involved, ask them to go shopping with you. Good luck!!