WWYD

BermudaBride07

This has been posted on a few nest boards today. I hope it's clicky. WWYD if this happened to you?http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2009/09/22/mother-given-wrong-embryo-in-ivf-mix-up/

wingedbride

I am an older person having babies in many people's minds. I have been asked point blank why I would consider having kids at my age. And obviously at (almost) 34 and with our desire to have at least 2 children, possibly 4, I am going to be a 40 year old mother. So, fallin, will you be gentle when I am a 40 year old mom?

FallinAgain

The fact that she IVF'ed a 4th child despite knowing the complications is just a little bsc to me.

wingedbride

Is HELLP something that would affect her in all subsequent pregnancy? If it was, and she had knowledge, that does bother me.

FallinAgain

I'll give you a mild side eye Winged, but it will increase dramatically if you resort to extreme measures to have one post 40 after already having 1 or 2.

myboys04

I'm not disagreeing with the reasoning. Maybe I took it the wrong way. When I think of someone that has 3 or more children, that shouldn't automatically categorize them as being irresponsible. I guess it's all a matter of opinion and how each of us were raised.

wingedbride

No, if I cannot do it sans treatments, I don't think I will.myboys, you can disagree. I am calling you out for saying it is ridiculous though.

BermudaBride07

Wait, that blog said it was a FET (frozen embryo transfer)and that the other couple wasn't even trying? Wow-imagine getting the call that you are now about to have a baby you weren't even trying for?  

FallinAgain

I wonder if they got any say in whether the pg continued.  Oh, the ethical dyelemahs.

lindsayll

According to the American Academy of Family Physicians:"You're more likely to get HELLP syndrome if you're white and over 25 years of age. You are also more likely to get it if you have had children before or if you had a problem with a pregnancy in the past."Considering she's had it with two previous pregnancies, and her doctor is advising her that this is the last pregnancy she should carry, I'm guessing it's not necessarily 100% guaranteed she'll get it again but pretty darn close.

lanie26

I'd terminate. And if you want to discuss crazy, you can talk about the woman on 12-24 who is engaged to her 3rd husband at 31, before her divorce is through, and having her current man sperm tested so she can have a ... wait for it. SIXTH child. She has 5 by 2-3 men, I dont' remember. So this will be the 3/4th and we're sperm testing 10 months from the wedding so she can prepare for IVF for #6. She has 2 sets of twins.

lindsayll

Lanie, you've been holding out on us.  Holy sheet.

wingedbride

Lanie, is there no crazy on the bump you don't know?

FallinAgain

I'll just say it. I think IVF should be limited to one live birth.  At very least I think that's all that insurance should cover, if it covers anything.The fact that you can have 6 is absurd to me.

Novemberrocks

I think it's admirable that she's carrying the baby to term, though I can't imagine doing anything other than that.  I also think it's odd risking her life/health and going to heroic measures to have a 4th child.  A coworker's wife was a nurse in a fertility clinic and he said they would turn away people looking for IVF if they had 3+ kids already.  Winged, I don't think you're old for starting a family.  Perhaps that's because I'm the same age as you and don't consider myself old for having babies.  I think it's also a regional thing.  Living in and around NYC, many of my friends didn't start having babies until after 35.

wingedbride

Most insurance doesn't cover IVF.

wingedbride

oh, november, i think most sane people agree that mid-30s is fine. I just work with some ignoramouses(sp?). My mom was 35 when she had me. I think it is a perfect age.

FallinAgain

I think more and more do, even though they won't fully cover BC.  Bastahrds.

lanie26

Our girls are the same age. I've always thought she was nuts but this most recent engagement cinched it to me. She has five children and seems to be a bit obsessed with being a multiples mom. It's kind of creepy. she also has the balls to post on the IF board, which with 5 kids in your siggy is might rich IMO.

BermudaBride07

I wouldn't go so far as to say you can only have 1 baby through IVF because I think people can do what they want, however for me personally, I couldn't really imagine wanting to go through that more than once.  I know I want more than one child but the thought of starting all of this IF stuff over again in a few years is overwhelming.  I just don't know if I'd want to do it again.  I am just at the IUI stage but IVF is much harder to deal with and much more involved. Someone I know had a baby after 4 IVFs and is now looking into donor eggs to have another baby.  She's also well into her 40s.  I think if I had one baby of my own I would stop way before I was considering donor eggs. 

samfish2bcrab

This may surprise people, but I don't think IVF should be covered by insurance.   I'm ALL for having as many kids as you can afford, and that includes more than 2-3 with IVF if that's what you want.  I just don't think healthcare or insurance should cover it. I'd carry that baby to term.   No question.

shanollee

Lanie, sounds like she's gearing up to the be next octomom

mashedpotato

wow Lanie, she sounds crazy.  Where have you been by the way?

FallinAgain

Yeah, I think I'm with Sam.  Knock yourself out but pay for it yourself.

myboys04

So winged... if you choose to have 3 or more children does that automatically categorize you as unresponsible?

BermudaBride07

She has five children and seems to be a bit obsessed with being a multiples momOctomom?

SarahBethBR

I think it's also a regional thing. Living in and around NYC, many of my friends didn't start having babies until after 35. I agree with this.  It's not very common around here to have your first after age 30.  But it's also really really common to get married in your early twenties here.

wingedbride

This may surprise people, but I don't think IVF should be covered by insurance. I'm ALL for having as many kids as you can afford, and that includes more than 2-3 with IVF if that's what you want. I just don't think healthcare or insurance should cover it.I don't know that I think it should be either. I guess, I am fine if it is covered as long as this is not something that causes rates to skyrocket. But, I have seen the argumnet, most recently on GP with Autumn, that it should be covered because having your own children is a right. I don't agree with that reasoning.

mashedpotato

I agree with sam and fallin.

lanie26

Yeah there have been octomom comparisons. There are also a lot of people calling her a devoted supermom for handling so many children and finding love. Yeeeeeeeeeeeah. I've been around. I'm juggling schoolwork and Jo and a husband working 3 jobs and worky work.

wingedbride

So winged... if you choose to have 3 or more children does that automatically categorize you as unresponsible?irresponsible?by PDX and SB's logic, yes it does. But as I said, I disagree. They have a right to feel that way and I have a right to think differently. I see their logic for why, that doesn't mean I have to agree. Certainly, this is making sense to you? I just don't understand what part of this you don't grasp.