Hurt Feelings... Am I wrong?

star_524

So I just ran into an issue with one of my BM, who is one of my best friends. Let me give you some back ground, I have been engaged since January and am planning for 10.9.10. My BM got engaged last week and informed me today that they are now getting married in July, three months before me. Previously they were planning a destination wedding and now are planning a HUGE wedding here. I admit my feelings were really hurt by this. Especially after she went on and on about how planning is so horrible and she doesnt care about any of it, the colors, flowers, details, and that all she wants to do is show up, and that she just wants it to be over already... Please put me in my place, how should I be reacting to this?

aligrrl80

yes, you're wrong.

lmydogally

Why does it bother you that she is getting married in July?

the_mulva

you're mad that your BFF is having a big grand wedding? wtf?

star_524

no not that she is getting married in July or that she is having a big grand wedding that she is having hers 3 months before mine when I have been planning for months. And the fact that she isnt excited about it at all. I feel like she tried to do it so she beat me. Especially when she told me in and email and quote......"We decided to get married next July.......... SO IM GETTING MARRIED FIRST!!"  those were her exact words..

PDXPhotoGrl

Get over it.

star_524

Thanks, I think maybe I just needed to put it out there so I wasnt stewing on it... I can deal. Thanks everyone!

jesibel14

Yes, you are wrong. You are mad that she is getting married 1 month before you, right? You wouldn't be mad if it was after... You prob see it as she is stealing your thunder... But shes not - she is just having her wedding before yours - who cares I had friends go through something similar and honestly in hind sight it's laughable... It's not the "date" that counts! Be happy that she found Someone she loves enough to marry, just as you did, and please don't let it bother you... Good luck !

modb1rd

I can totally see how one of your friends getting married before you and not caring at all about the wedding planning hurts your feelings. I mean she is devaluing everything you care about in this world. Doesn't she realize that you may only get to get married ONCE. And that the colors and the flowers and the other details are things that can't change once the wedding day is over and you are all married and stuff. It is your one chance to get it righ.

KayRI

I always read BM as bowel movement.

aligrrl80

well, she sounds like a brat if she was being serious. and if she's a brat, probably no one really likes her. so don't act like a brat also and you'll be the one that has more friends, and will get better wedding presents. and then you win.

aligrrl80

kay, even after all these years, I do too.

tastyburger

whaaa?  this is a BLESSING.  take notes during her nuptials and just make sure you do everything better! na-ne-na-na-boo-boo.  

MamaKin

two of my best friends from my "group" got engaged within 4 days of each other. i just attended one wedding about 3 weeks ago, and the other is 2 weeks from now. NO BIG DEAL. we've all made it to showers, bachelorette parties (one tomorrow!), weddings, etc to celebrate with everyone. there is no competition, and no one's feelings are hurt. and to be honest, as fun as the first one was (and it was amaaazing), now the only thing my friends are talking about is the next one and we haven't gotten to gush over the first like it probably deserved. so if you're still all butthurt about it, maybe that's a consolation.

megan1381

She doesn't care about who's wedding,hers or your own? Either way write her off as someone you can't count on. She is trying to one-up you. Change your wedding to June

CaliopeSpidrman

If we can't count on our bridesmaids to do....umm...bridesmaidy things, the world will be launched into CHAOS. 

mrstarawalsh

Dude, who the hell cares? Get over it.

buddhagouda

The only thing I brought away from this discussion was "Holy Hell PINK VELOUR TRACK SUIT"

FallinAgain

I also enjoy the posed pg pic at 5 freaking weeks pg.

KristenBtobe

A pink velour track suit is required first trimester garb, Buddha. Better read your handbook.

lmydogally

My eye first went to the pink track suit and then the wood paneling walls.  Not sure which is more disturbing.

orangejulius

I agree with the girls who said this is a blessing. A friend of mine got engaged a month before me and still hasn't set a date! I mean, I know in the scheme of things it doesn't matter, but it's just annoying. I hope she sets it before mine!!

mrstarawalsh

<3 velour, especially PINK velour. Heck, I didn't know I'd be a bloated pig at 5 weeks along, none of my clothes fit, gotta be comfy

lindsayll

So I guess this means the vow renewal is off?  Too bad, I was hoping you'd share pictures of it.And I've never understood pregnancy belly pics of bloat.  I still don't feel rounded out enough to warrant a true belly pic.

mrstarawalsh

Can't be a pretty princess when you're a pregnant pumpkin! Some back story: This is not my second or even third pregnancy. It's my sixth. My daughter, Lillianne, was born sleeping and after I had DS I had 3 miscarriages. Trust, I'd much rather have a baby than a vow renewal ceremony... even better that this one was a surprise since we had all but given up! I started taking pics as soon as I found out because I want to document this pregnancy, since it will be my last if I carry to term or not (I'm having a complete hysterectomy after). I was no where near as bloated last week! I was quite surprised this week.

FallinAgain

I get wanting to document life events, I do.  The downside of the internet is that people no longer have any sense that you do not have to share with the general public what you document.

mrstarawalsh

Fallin: Seriously, I like the pic, who cares? I'm obviously excited about being pregnant, it's not unuseual to take weekly pregnancy pics. I don't see what the big deal is.

FallinAgain

It's not a big deal. It's just odd to be posing like you're showing off a baby bump when you aren't showing at all yet.  Your fetus is the size of a seed.

SarahBethBR

My belly looks almost exactly like yours.  I'm 0 weeks pregnant.  I just think 5 weeks is early to be posting belly pictures.  Maybe you ave bloat.  Maybe you ate too many tacos.  But you're not "showing."And yes, the pink J. Lo circa 2001 tracksuit just adds to the charm.

mrstarawalsh

 I know it's just bloat LOL. But actually did you know that during the 5-6th week of pregnancy that your uterus goes from the size of a fist to the size of a grapefruit?Also, the baby's not the size of a seed, it's the size of a raisen. PLUS since this is my 6th pregnancy, and I've carried 1 to term and 1 to the second trimester, it's not *that* uncommon for a woman who has had a child in their 5th week to be having a  larger belly and it stays.

KristenBtobe

I'm 15 weeks and not nearly that size. My SIL patted my belly the other night, I had to remind her she was just feeling my organs, not a baby yet.