How do i tell my S.I.L she wont be in my wedding?

luckynlove367

OK so my soon to be sister in law is getting married in oct. she asked me to be a brides maid and i said yes. But then she just asumed she would be a bridesmaid in my wedding which is after hers... Honestly I dont want to be in her wedding and I dont want her in mine. She constantly talks bad about me to other family members and told me I am not allowed to talk about my wedding plans untill hers is over bc shell be getting married before me. Im just as excited about my wedding as she is her so its really hard at times. So im asking i guess..How do i go about telling her i dont want her as a a brides maid in my wedding and I really dont think i should be one in hers with out starting all kinds of drama in the family? i wouldnt feel right having her in my wedding knowing shes talking about me and saying awful things that hurt my feelings.. I feel like I should allow my closest and dearest friends to be in my wedding and not somebody who stabs me in the back and hurts me... HELP!

mrstarawalsh

Just tell her outright that although she will soon be family that since you aren't close and dont' really get along you don't feel it would be appropriate for you to be in eachother's weddings.

ks3pink

There's no rule saying who has to be in the WP. If you don't like her and she doesn't like you then that's that. Tell her you've changed your mind and don't want to be in hers, then just don't ask her to be in yours. She'll get the picture when she doesn't have to buy a dress. My FSIL is bipolar and having a baby any day now. My fiance has told his mom that we don't like each other so I'm not putting her in the wedding and she hasn't even asked. It's actually very rude to expect to be in someone's wedding!! Only one person who asked is going to be in mine and she was 16 when we got engaged so she asked out of immaturity. As far as her saying you can't discuss your wedding: IGNORE HER! That is the most rude and absurd thing I've ever heard! She must have a major ego to think she's that important. WOW! I would talk about my plans whenever I wanted to and just smile at her when she got mad. 10/10/10 Bride!!

SarahBethBR

My FSIL is bipolar and having a baby any day now.These are both excellent reasons not to have someone as a bridesmaid.Just don't ask her?  If she asks you about it, just say you're having a small wedding party and unfortunately you can't include her.

GroomzMcFinehiney

If you don't like her, why on earth did you agree to be in her wedding?

notquiteblushing

October is right now though, so is your FSIL getting married next week?  You shouldn't have agreed to be in her wedding in the first place but I don't think you should back out at the last minute. 

FallinAgain

Just let her be in it.  It's not a big deal and you'll look like the bigger person, which is always good in the start of family relationships.  Screw not talking about your wedding though.