Help! Bridesmaid is AWOL!

tsbw

Hi, brides to be!  I need some advice: I asked my bridesmaids to participate in my November wedding about eight months ago. There are three total, my sister and two good college friends. I was a bridesmaid in all of their weddings, and we stayed close. However, one bridesmaid is going through some personal issues, and hasn't responded to any of my or our other friends' messages for about three months. (Not about the wedding - we just reached out to see if we could help or talk.)  But, now it's two weeks from the wedding, and I'm now worried. I'm not sure if she's gotten her dress, and I haven't received her or her husband's reply card or anything. I know she is fine and going out as I can see updates on Facebook, but am so confused as to why she'd do this.  Should I assume that she won't be there?  If so, how should I proceed?  There will be three groomsmen and two bridesmaids at the ceremony, and I'm not sure what to do with the numbers.  Any advice would be great.  Thank you!!

KristenBtobe

Don't fear. I can be there in a jiffy to fill in.  When you say messages, do you mean e-mails or phone calls? I'd surely use the phone in this instance and ask if she still plans on participating in the wedding.

FallinAgain

Numbers are irrelevant.  If she shows great; if not you'll still be married.  Have you tried stopping by her house?  Calling (I'm not sure if "messages" means calls here or texts or emails)?

laurenclaire1386

You can have uneven sides of a WP.  Your marriage will still be valid and your head will not explode.  Sounds like she's avoiding you.  If you can't get in touch with her at two weeks away from the wedding, I think she's trying to tell you something without actually saying it.

AngieP900

Well this sure seems like it sucks. Maybe if you are calling (which I assume you are) try to call her husband? They've had a wedding, they know the drill with final counts, etc. Although I think you fucked this one up by waiting until 2 weeks before the wedding to find out if she had the dress.

tastyburger

of for FUUCK'S SAKE.  You haven't heard hide nor hair from a bestie in three months and now you're worried because your WEDDING is in two weeks?  I would have been driving over there to make sure she was still alive 2 months ago.  Even if you're sure her body isn't rotting in some lonely apartment somewhere by way of FB updates, I would have definately made an effort to talk to her sooner than now, and certainly not just because you are worried that she might not make it to your big day.and no one gives two hard brown rat turds if your numbers are uneven.  mine were uneven AND mix-gendered and we looked damn great.

AngieP900

Everytime I read two hard rat turds it makes me feel constipated.

CaliopeSpidrman

I'm with Tasty.  Your friend was going through a rough patch and you're concerned about having an uneven bridal party?  You must not be very good friends.  If you haven't heard from her, you should be worried about how she's doing and not about whether she bought a foffing dress.  GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.

ChristinS

Poop on her door step and put a post it on the poop that says "Please call me! - tsbw" I promise she'll call. This always works. Seriously though, if she's not answering your calls, I'm not sure what you can do short of showing up at her house. I guess if she doesn't show she doesn't show. What's the nature of these issues she's dealing with?

KristenBtobe

Yes. Go check on your friend STAT. Is she always wearing sunglasses and a hat in Facebook pictures a la Weekend at Bernie's?

SarahBethBR

Just know that all of your guests will make fun of you for having less friends than your husband. But seriously, worry about your friend instead of symmetry. You're being kind of a biitch.

_Fenton

I am going to give you a break because I have plenty of good friends who I don't speak to for months at a time sometimes (I have several small groups & onesies - not a big group so I can't really see everyone weekly or even biweekly).  Some of those were even my bridesmaids.  I also communicate almost exclusively through email and FB, and really wouldn't freak out if someone wasn't getting back to me.  I would assume they were not responding because they needed space.  I like being alone when I'm bummed, so I subconsciously assume the same about others.But regardless if she needs space, you need a head count.  Start stalking.

tsbw

Thanks for all the helpful replies.  For the record, I started by checking on my friend.  She is A-Ok, hanging out with neighbors and traveling.  She is in another state and is only out of touch with the people in the bridal party after saying she would love to be a bridesmaid.  I am going to plan on having one less person in the bridal party. Thanks again!