mom

KitkatShadowSquirtsMom

I love my mom, but she is the most selfish, insensitive, rude, and impolite person I know. She keeps on saying, "well, this is what I did at MY wedding...why don't you do that?" "are you really going to choose THAT place/dress/color/food, etc.?" The eye rolling, constant bitching about stupid stuff (I thought I was supposed to be the one to get pissy about stuff). My favorite: "you CANNOT invite this person, that person, him, her or anyone I don't know!" I keep calling my future MIL for advice/venting, but she lives in GA and we are in IN and it just sucks. She is spring for 1/3 of the budget, my finace's folks or 1/3, and us for 1/3. Just a little vent, but after 25 years I think an outward explosion is iminant.

Lenore2010

You will probably get a lot of "be sweet and don't be a Bridezilla" advice, but I would be direct here, before you lose control and blow up.

First, try the "nice" talk, you know the "I respect your opinions mom but..." conversation. If she keeps playing the steamroller (or pulls the "my money is paying for this too" card when you do try to talk) then I would say bite the bullet, tell her thanks but no thanks for the cost sharing and do what you like with your wedding.

I am the same age as some of the Bride's moms here-44 and the overbearing mom thing drives me crazy. I have seen them in the bridal shops and tux places, acting as if it were their wedding and not their daughter's hopefully lifetime commitment. I am going to take it a step further and say that if a parent is paying for or contributing to a son or daughter's wedding so they can control the event, they are missing the point. That is suppose to be a gift to your adult child, not a buy-in to create Mom's dream day of her kid getting married so she can have photos to show friends.

It is your wedding. I am not saying be a bitch to your Mom, but be a grownup, set some boundaries, and be prepared to kiss her money good bye. Your wedding may be more humble, but you will be happier at it!

felicia220

We can all give you advice on what to do, but at the end of the day none of us know your mother like you do.  I would like that after 25 years you would have figured out how to handle her, as she would have learned to handle you.  Some people need to be told things in a certain way in order to understand, just wanted to explain my "handling" thing.  Anyway,  maybe if you aren't comfortable with talking with her you could write her a letter explaining how you feel.  It allows you to collect your thoughts without her interrupting.

Good Luck to you. 

suz62984

Ditto on Lenore. You need to sit down with her and talk about this. Be direct and stand your ground. If she keeps trying to control things maybe you should pay for 2/3s. Take out the money factor and she has no more control. Either way you need to talk about this. The sooner the better.

KitkatShadowSquirtsMom

right now she's bugging the crap out of me about guest list. I have a lot of people to think of, edit, cut, add, remember, etc. I work full time and applying to college. She doesn't do anything. My stepdad works and takes care of the house and her. I asked her to write down the names and addresses of her dad's family. She wrote down the names of my late father's brothers and sisters. And got pissed when I told her I already got them.