follow up on the GM and the gf

CassandraPotter

the gf who wanted to wear the same colors as my BM. Anyway, so today we went to look at GM suits, and we took a picture of it for her and sent it to her so she could coordinate her outfit with his. anyway, I reminded him that he is standing and she will be sitting and she doesn't know anyone at the wedding, he kind of realized that as I was telling him. Then I told him we will be driving around to take pictures with the WP (the formal WP pictures) for about an hour after the ceremony and he asked me if she could come. No one else asked for their S.O.s to come during the formal WP pictures, and I feel like thats just bonding time for everyone. what would you say? also, we are all piling into a van and have limited space, but we were planning it on being just the WP and the photog. Do people usually bring the WP S.O.'s along with the WP for the formal pictures??

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Well, our groomsmen brought their wives and girlfriends to our pictures.  But we only took pictures at the church, and they all just sat together in one of the pews.  If we had left the church to take pics somewhere else, I'm thinking they'd have stayed at the church.

Brandiewine11

If she really doesn't know anyone else at the wedding, and you have room in the van, let her go. How would you feel if you didn't know anyone at all? Just make sure he tells her that she can go, but wont' be in any pictures and needs to stay out of the way. 

Yoda2010

I havent ever heard of that, but if she doesnt know anyone at the wedding then why not just let her tag along? It would be a nice gesture on your part.

MandK9

Ehhhh I'm iffy.

She seems to be an insecure girl, and literally will know nobody?  I mean, I don't like making people feel uncomfortable.  But what will she do if she comes along for photos? Sit on the van while everyone else gets off to go take some pics?  That will be lonely too.  And if you have limited space and bringing her would cause problems for anyone else coming, I'd say no.  If it's no problem, and she's going to cause a stink about it, I'd probably let her come.

CassandraPotter

hmm maybe I should have her come along. but our one van we are taking is already piled with people. and we are sort of "pressed for time" so its going to be very fast-paced. I just don't know what to do with this one hah

CassandraPotter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:37300d48-44de-4363-a8a4-2b9cfbd6fc41">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]Ehhhh I'm iffy. She seems to be an insecure girl, and literally will know nobody?  I mean, I don't like making people feel uncomfortable.  But what will she do if she comes along for photos? Sit on the van while everyone else gets off to go take some pics?  That will be lonely too.  And if you have limited space and bringing her would cause problems for anyone else coming, I'd say no.  If it's no problem, and she's going to cause a stink about it, I'd probably let her come.
Posted by MandK9[/QUOTE]
thats what I keep thinking is that when we do go to the locations to take pics shes going to be by herself anyway because we are taking the pics. I feel like she would maybe have more fun trying to socialize at the cocktail hour  idkkk

ZombieNates

I've been the GF of a few GMs at weddings were I knew no one and never came for pictures. I'm of the mindset that grown people can take care of themselves.

ZombieNates

OH, and you're taking pictures during cocktail hour? Then I can't see it at all.  All the weddings I mentioned were Catholic ones with a gap between and I STILL didn't go with the WP.

sarah0725

Could you hook her up with the SOs of the other wedding party members, some of whom I'm guessing are going to be in pretty much the same social boat? We have a group of ladies (and I think one gentleman) who are attached to the wedding party, and I'm hoping they all get to know each other at the rehearsal dinner and such so that they'll have fun together the day of the wedding.

Yoda2010

On a side note, if you dont have room then you simply dont have room. I was just suggesting you let her come along if there was room for her.

DodgersBride

I would say let her go. I'd assume she would have to drive their car from the ceremony location to the reception. So she could take her own car and not go in the van. I wouldn't be bothered by it though.

I do think it is unfair to assume she is insecure because her BF asked if she can go with the WP to take pictures. Some people are not comfortable making friends or hanging out with people they don't know. She could just be shy or hell maybe her BF is the one wanting her to go.

CassandraPotter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:91fa93d6-4de6-4354-8a4f-f765781495a7">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]OH, and you're taking pictures during cocktail hour? Then I can't see it at all.  All the weddings I mentioned were Catholic ones with a gap between and I STILL didn't go with the WP.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]
yeah because our ceremony and reception are at the same building/location. but we are driving around the town with the BM AWESOME van and taking pictures at some super cute locations we found. So because we aren't doing a "first look" we are having a little cocktail hour and appetizers while we are taking pictures so guests have something to do.

CassandraPotter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:160e0407-ab54-4364-99bc-89fcd0365d25">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]Could you hook her up with the SOs of the other wedding party members, some of whom I'm guessing are going to be in pretty much the same social boat? We have a group of ladies (and I think one gentleman) who are attached to the wedding party, and I'm hoping they all get to know each other at the rehearsal dinner and such so that they'll have fun together the day of the wedding.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]
theres only one other guy I can think of RIGHT now. because my other two BM have bfs but they know each other/ are friends.

MandK9

No, Dodgers, I'm not saying it in a mean way.  I'm insecure, I feel uncomfortable with people I don't know.  It wasn't a jab at her. 

CassandraPotter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:2cb2cf74-c458-4fc9-9e91-dceaf1c1a511">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]On a side note, if you dont have room then you simply dont have room. I was just suggesting you let her come along if there was room for her.
Posted by Yoda2010[/QUOTE]
yeah we literally don't have any room in the van. the GM was suggesting she follow along in her car. lol

Yoda2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:9229023d-f144-4ce6-8663-0c79732b5b69">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: follow up on the GM and the gf : yeah we literally don't have any room in the van. the GM was suggesting she follow along in her car. lol
Posted by CassandraPotter[/QUOTE]

Hmm. That sounds a little ridiculous actually.

CassandraPotter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:7ab76876-0b06-4f90-b24c-0ddaa0110b51">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]No, Dodgers, I'm not saying it in a mean way.  I'm insecure, I feel uncomfortable with people I don't know.  It wasn't a jab at her. 
Posted by MandK9[/QUOTE]
I don't mind not being around people I don't know, but if my FI was a part of  a WP and they were doing what we were doing, I wouldn't mind taking care of myself for an hour. I sort of have that same feeling that I am an adult I can take care of myself.

CassandraPotter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:cd0b32a0-d9e9-42d7-a2d1-5cdbb090e412">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: follow up on the GM and the gf : Hmm. That sounds a little ridiculous actually.
Posted by Yoda2010[/QUOTE]
I know! especially because we are going to a couple spots, and literally running around franticly. I can't picture her following us around to different spots then just waiting in the corner all alone.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I'm sorry, but this chick sounds really, really lame.  I don't really mind if she wanted to coordinate her outfit to match with her FI, but if she can't even hang out by herself or meet some new people for a couple hours then she sounds kind of socially inept or something.

CassandraPotter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:9f6dacdd-7d15-4639-82f9-9aa505d11c3d">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: follow up on the GM and the gf : I would just tell him that you are sorry but there is no room in the van. If she wants to follow along in her car, you can't really stop her.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]
lol ugh. I hope she doesn't do that...so awkward.

CassandraPotter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:ae251398-c50e-4b7e-989b-e5806a855451">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry, but this chick sounds really, really lame.  I don't really mind if she wanted to coordinate her outfit to match with her FI, but if she can't even hang out by herself or meet some new people for a couple hours then she sounds kind of socially inept or something.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
she is pretty lame..it sucks. oh well. At least (for now) its only her I've had to sort of bend over backwards for.

sarah0725

I was just thinking... is it possible that some of this is coming from your friend and not the GF? I feel like if I had social anxiety to the extent that I couldn't go to a cocktail hour without my boyfriend, and I had access to a car, I'd rather go get a cup of coffee on my own than follow the BP around in a van with said car. Unless her ploy is to get the BF to ride in the car with her instead of you guys. The whole thing is weird, and I think there may be more to it.

EmilyW416

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:ae251398-c50e-4b7e-989b-e5806a855451">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry, but this chick sounds really, really lame.  I don't really mind if she wanted to coordinate her outfit to match with her FI, but if she can't even hang out by herself or meet some new people for a couple hours then she sounds kind of socially inept or something.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Agreed! Since you're running around taking cute pics around town,that seems a little weird. Is she really young?

Yoda2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:8d23525f-a9eb-44ba-95e7-2d11e6357d45">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]I was just thinking... is it possible that some of this is coming from your friend and not the GF? I feel like if I had social anxiety to the extent that I couldn't go to a cocktail hour without my boyfriend, and I had access to a car, I'd rather go get a cup of coffee on my own than follow the BP around in a van with said car. Unless her ploy is to get the BF to ride in the car with her instead of you guys. The whole thing is weird, and I think there may be more to it.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

Thats a really good point, hadnt even thought about that. But ya, I would definitely feel silly chasing the WP in my car.

TheCranberry

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:8d23525f-a9eb-44ba-95e7-2d11e6357d45">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]I was just thinking... is it possible that some of this is coming from your friend and not the GF? I feel like if I had social anxiety to the extent that I couldn't go to a cocktail hour without my boyfriend, and I had access to a car, I'd rather go get a cup of coffee on my own than follow the BP around in a van with said car. Unless her ploy is to get the BF to ride in the car with her instead of you guys. The whole thing is weird, and I think there may be more to it.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

Sarah, that's a good point.  Just tell him/her that you'll be running around and pressed for time, and you don't want her to get lost in traffic or something like that.  Make sure they know there's a cocktail hour or if worse comes to worse, tell her about a cafe or a mall near your venue.  The fact that she wants to run around town following you in her car is really weird.  There's also the parking issue if there aren't a lot of spaces.  You don't want to have to be waiting for her or anything.

J&K10910

I guess I don't see what the problem is if she'll be following in her own car.  I mean, yeah, it's weird. But I assure you that you won't really have any time WHILE you're taking pictures for "bonding time" so any "bonding" that anyone will be doing will be in the van, I guess.  If she's not comfortable going to cocktail hour by herself, and she wants to be weird and follow you guys around, who is it hurting? 

reils

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_follow-up-gm-gf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:12da8d9e-7e6b-422b-9a60-975f59bd23e2Post:8d23525f-a9eb-44ba-95e7-2d11e6357d45">Re: follow up on the GM and the gf</a>:
[QUOTE]I was just thinking... is it possible that some of this is coming from your friend and not the GF? I feel like if I had social anxiety to the extent that I couldn't go to a cocktail hour without my boyfriend, and I had access to a car, I'd rather go get a cup of coffee on my own than follow the BP around in a van with said car. Unless her ploy is to get the BF to ride in the car with her instead of you guys. The whole thing is weird, and I think there may be more to it.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with this. I would feel really uncomfortable going to a cocktail hour alone so much so that I would either decline going to the wedding or I would go get a cup of coffee or go somewhere alone. For me it would also be awkward to ask if I can follow you from location to location with my own car. Something doesn't add up here. </div>

DodgersBride

I get her wanting to match with her BF. If FI was going to be dressed up in a suit or tux I would like to have a nice photo of us taken. Maybe she wants them to match for the photo.

 I do agree with Sarah and was trying to make that point earlier that all of this is coming from her BF and you have no idea if this is coming from her or just him. I just don't see how it would be a problem for her to follow you all to take pictures.

jasmineh7777

I don't think she needs to follow you guys around. That is just strange.  Really, if they are in a long-term relationship, she should be able to handle an hour away from him, NOT following him around town in a car. She could go get Starbucks and hang out there until you guys are done if she is that uncomfortable being alone.

Nina0528

I think I would feel even more uncomfortable following the wedding party around town in my car. I'm not a big fan of going to the cocktail hour when FI is a groomsmen, but I would never dream of asking to tag along. Sometimes you have to learn to do somethings alone.

ETA: I saw anxiety mentioned above. Does she have really bad social anxiety, I didn't see it in the OP (but I'm assuming there was another post on this before where it might have been mentioned).