Listen, heifer....

SCBojangles1138

Dear FI aka office mate, coworker, and fellow grad student,
Just because your class sucks doesn't give you the right to be an @ss to me infront of our other office mates. At very least, save it for later and stop being so unprofessional.
-Your very pissed of future wife

Dear FBIL aka office mate, coworker, and fellow grad student,
I may not be your favorite person, but I'm nice to you. Stop being @ss to me because you think its funny. This is grad school, not 4th grade.
-A very hurt FSIL

ETA: This one PhD student makes these sinful things called oreo balls - any of you ladies had them? This talk of chocolate is making me crave one!

shaydenise

ahhhh Comic Sans NEVER looks good.  EVER!! ha ha ha

SEWF

Coworker:

I like you... I really do.

But if you interrupt me one more time to answer a question a customer asked ME, we're going to have a talk. I've been here for four years, am your supervisor, and trained you. Interrupting me answering where the military history section is to jump in and show off your knowledge of where the military history section is will not get you a good review. I know you're angling for a raise and a promotion, but talking over me is not the way to get it.

Got it?

Your annoyed boss

ksparks10

Dear Mom,

I am a litle confused as to why you would ask me for a list of clothing items I would want for Christmas, have me email you the list with links, sizes and colors, and then whine about how you don't know what I want. LOOK AT THE LIST, WOMAN!! You don't need me to hold your hand through a store to figure it out...read the email!

Dear Boss,

I am extremely aggravated that you made the hostess of my office shower reschedule the date (without asking me if I was available) because that is when you wanted it. Furthermore, I do not find it appropriate that you ask said hostess if you can give me a "dirty gift." Thats gross. We are not friends.

aplatanada

Dear random USCIS bureaucrat:

Thanks for entering the wrong birth date on H's green card.  We were so wowed by the fancy holograms that we didn't notice it at first. As much as I like the youngins, I did not marry a man-child born in 1999.

Because you messed up, we get to pay an extra $370 to have it fixed. Because of the mistake, the DPS doesn't believe he is who he says he is and won't give him a driver license, meaning I still have to cart his butt around and always be the desginated driver.

Thanks for runining happy hour.

BecW2be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_listen-heifer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:164e56a0-6446-4db6-a1ec-59d16c239232Post:d80bc3e8-1eeb-4552-ad31-cc243f60baf0">Re: Listen, heifer....</a>:
[QUOTE]ahhhh Comic Sans NEVER looks good.  EVER!! ha ha ha
Posted by shaydenise[/QUOTE]

You need some corporate brand standards and layout guidelines up in that joint PRONTO. No way I'd touch that shiit!

avsfan33

Dear roommate,

It is not my fault you decided in your head to move out 2 months ago but decided to let us know 2 weeks ago. Just like you can't control your sisters crazy ranting on FB, I can't control, when and how FI responds to your snarky message on FB. You decided to wait until the last second to let us know you were leaving, so FI is doing the same to you. He would have easily allowed you to leave if you had the decency to talk to him, when he was sitting right beside me when you asked me to step outside with you. Just because we're a couple doesn't mean we're the same person. I'm not a messenger and you are a grown up. If he wasn't there, it would have been understandable. He's also annoyed at the fact that you just decided we would agree before even talking to us.

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_listen-heifer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:164e56a0-6446-4db6-a1ec-59d16c239232Post:97f7dc2b-8ac1-4c70-a8b4-2a3e35e3bdae">Re: Listen, heifer....</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear random USCIS bureaucrat: Thanks for entering the wrong birth date on H's green card.  We were so wowed by the fancy holograms that we didn't notice it at first. As much as I like the youngins, I did not marry a man-child born in 1999. Because you messed up, we get to pay an extra $370 to have it fixed. Because of the mistake, the DPS doesn't believe he is who he says he is and won't give him a driver license, meaning I still have to cart his butt around and always be the desginated driver. Thanks for runining happy hour.
Posted by aplatanada[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>>.< I hear you there.</div>

deepcovejackie

Dear slack-jawed co-worker:

I'd really, really like it if instead of calling me "Dear" and "Honey", you would actually answer the phone.

Stop standing *thisclose* to me, and if your arms are around my waist *one*more*time I shall smack you.  I took kickboxing.  I'm bigger than you are.

Besos,

me

katiewhompus

Dear coworker,  I am THIS close to calling you out on being a moron. You say you worked as a top executive at Verizon for 20 years and you were in charge of networking large corporate buildings, running Fios for the very first time, and setting up the US's first telecommunication center BUT you don't the difference between a coax and a fvcking ethernet cable? If I have to describe to you what a VGA cord is again, or the difference between a computer monitor and cpu I will scream.
P.S. You know how you say to tell you if you ever bug me? I can't, because EVERYTHING BUGS ME! The way you breathe, the way you eat, the way you laugh, everything. Just go away.

signed, me.

arv266

Dear New Co-Worker,

I know this job is overwhelming, and it is a lot to take in at once.... but both of our lives would be infinitely better if you would READ my emails in their entirety.  Reading the first few lines and going off half-cocked doesn't help me at all.  I thought I was going to like you, but  not at this rate.

Thanking you in advance,

Me

Marrin713

Dear Doctor-Boss,

Since I seem to be your flavor of the week employee, please stop showing favoritism.  It makes me uncomfortable, and my co-worker does not deserve to be treated like crap.  Grow up.

Regards,
Me