Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth
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Cutting the Guest List

Okay so we are needing to cut our guest list because it seems that we are going over our budget for food. We have roughly about 107 guest on the guest list and if we could cut it down to about 95 that would be wonderful. We have already decided to do no children under 14 and that helped get it down to 107. The FI guest list is fine, but it's mine that needs cutting. My family is just to big!!!! So what determines who you cut. I have looked at the guest list 50 times already to try to figure out who to cut. It can't be friends bc I barely have any friends coming. I asked my mom to help me cut people but all she did was add people. I am afraid to rock the family boat and/or be called a bridezilla (apparently family and friends think i will be one) but one of my friends said well for this you will just have to rock the boat and be a bridezilla. But it's so hard to cut family out when they are all brothers and sisters. I know it will end up like oh you invit my sister but not me or oh you invite my brother, sister and mother but not me. My FI and I really have know clue at this point who to cut and how many people and how to do it without stepping on people's toes. As for cutting the people we don't talk to often, that's like everyone bc I go for months at a time without speaking to my aunts and uncles and cousins.
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Re: Cutting the Guest List

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    edited December 2011
    A lot of people say to cut in circles for family members. I.E., invite aunts and uncles and first cousins, but no second cousins. Or, if all your first cousins are grown, just aunts and uncles. Would that cut anyone for you?

    Is there anyone you're giving a plus one to who is not in a relationship of any kind? (We invited all our guests to bring a plus one, even those that weren't seeing anyone.)

    Also, if you absolutely can't get it down any further, is there anything you can do to adjust your budget? Is there a menu option that you can cut out? Or can you cut from somewhere else? (Not being a flower person, this is what I'd suggest. Or, if you were planning to pay $2 per person for a favor, you could just that toward the food instead. Even cutting a few liquor choices off the bar, perhaps.
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    fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Out of the 107, are there any you know won't attend--like elderly relatives or OOT that you are only inviting out of respect?  You are only like 12 people off so maybe you could count some of these against your list?

    DH and I didn't have any problems but we did have to tell his parents they couldn't invite people just because they had been invited to their children's weddings.

    You're not obligated to invite every sibling of every one of your friends, nor are you obligated to invite adult children of your parent's friends, people whose weddings you or your parents have been invited to, etc. 
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    edited December 2011
    All my first cousins are gown, and I thought about only inviting aunts and uncles but there are a few first cousins I would want to invite for sure. That would rock the boat with my other first cousins. Maybe we could cut back on drinks since it is BYOB, maybe the wedding party wouldn't mind helping out with buying some of the alcohol. But that would be the only thing we could cut back on and thats really not very much, we were going to go to sam's and costco for beer and ask FI parents to bring some wine (they have a lot) and of course we need champagne. As for the flowers, my FI mom is a florist so flowers are the very least of our worries

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    edited December 2011
    As for the ones that we are inviting out of respect thats only 3 hahahah. We were like really? All my family live here and all his are oot, the 3 that we are inviting but won't show up are to far to come. And its really only family, no family friends or anything. I wish my aunts and uncles read books or watched tv instead of having so many kids hahah.
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    angelsong21angelsong21 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_cutting-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:0815e63f-84e0-45f0-b655-eb6f61f1182fPost:4a48fafa-cca1-4f98-8dda-1bb5e0f82f52">Re: Cutting the Guest List</a>:
    [QUOTE]All my first cousins are gown, and I thought about only inviting aunts and uncles but there are a few first cousins I would want to invite for sure. That would rock the boat with my other first cousins. <strong>Maybe we could cut back on drinks since it is BYOB, maybe the wedding party wouldn't mind helping out with buying some of the alcohol</strong>. But that would be the only thing we could cut back on and thats really not very much, we were going to go to sam's and costco for beer and ask FI parents to bring some wine (they have a lot) and of course we need champagne. As for the flowers, my FI mom is a florist so flowers are the very least of our worries
    Posted by sbrown1809[/QUOTE]

    Please, please don't do this.  The WP already pays to be in your wedding and stand with you on your big day.  If they volunteer to help with some expenses, that's great but it's really not appropriate to ask them to buy booze for YOUR wedding.  Either have a limited bar (beer/wine only) or have a dry reception if you absolutely cannot afford alcohol.  You would never charge admission to a dinner party at your home, would you?  Your wedding reception is the same concept.  It's a party you are throwing to thank your guests for coming to your wedding -- please don't make them fund parts of your own party to thank them.

    Just my two cents.  I'm not trying to be snarky or harsh or mean...just trying to help.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_cutting-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:0815e63f-84e0-45f0-b655-eb6f61f1182fPost:4a48fafa-cca1-4f98-8dda-1bb5e0f82f52">Re: Cutting the Guest List</a>:
    [QUOTE]All my first cousins are gown, and I thought about only inviting aunts and uncles but there are a few first cousins I would want to invite for sure. That would rock the boat with my other first cousins. Maybe we could cut back on drinks since it is BYOB, maybe the wedding party wouldn't mind helping out with buying some of the alcohol. But that would be the only thing we could cut back on and thats really not very much, we were going to go to sam's and costco for beer and ask FI parents to bring some wine (they have a lot) <strong>and of course we need champagne.</strong> As for the flowers, my FI mom is a florist so flowers are the very least of our worries
    Posted by sbrown1809[/QUOTE]

    Actually you don't need champagne. We're just doing an in hand toast (IE they toast with what they're already drinking) and it's saving us a lot.
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    edited December 2011
    Not everyone is going to come. Quite a bit of our IN TOWN family didn't make it. Most of my extended family I swore would come declined. People may surprise you
    Click Here for Bio Image and video hosting by TinyPic Married June 12, 2010!
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    edited December 2011
    Texan and Marissa made very good points.

    It sounds like with the 3 you know 100% won't come, you're only 9 people over your ideal food budget. I'd see if cutting the champagne will save you that amount. (I don't know how much your food is, but ours was only $20pp, so likely the cost of getting champagne would've equaled the cost of feeding 9 people.)

    We had two quick speeches, and if people raised their glass in a toast, it was with whatever they were drinking. DH and I actually had our favorite kind of whisky in our glass -- not that anyone knew that at the time! :)

    Also, we invited about 160 people and only had 70 RSVP yes -- and we probably had a few no-shows that day. While mine was probably an extreme example and you should always make sure you can handle 100% attendance ... the likelihood is that you will get at least a few no RSVPs.

    So you might just hold off on ordering the champagne or buying the beer until the week before, in which case you'll know how many people you actually need to feed. Then you'll know how much you have left for alcohol.
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    courtski2004courtski2004 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_cutting-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:0815e63f-84e0-45f0-b655-eb6f61f1182fPost:7d6f2bf2-79a2-4ce8-b6df-7555509f0d91">Re: Cutting the Guest List</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cutting the Guest List : Actually you don't need champagne. We're just doing an in hand toast (IE they toast with what they're already drinking) and it's saving us a lot.
    Posted by TexanTreasure08[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this. You'd be surprised how many people don't like champagne. If you're on a budget, this is one of the first things that I would forego. Nobody will miss it, I promise.
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    juliebug1997juliebug1997 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_cutting-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:0815e63f-84e0-45f0-b655-eb6f61f1182fPost:154a1879-ae43-4f5d-877a-29449ae2bcb5">Re: Cutting the Guest List</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cutting the Guest List : Please, please don't do this.  The WP already pays to be in your wedding and stand with you on your big day.  If they volunteer to help with some expenses, that's great but it's really not appropriate to ask them to buy booze for YOUR wedding.  Either have a limited bar (beer/wine only) or have a dry reception if you absolutely cannot afford alcohol.  You would never charge admission to a dinner party at your home, would you?  Your wedding reception is the same concept.  It's a party you are throwing to thank your guests for coming to your wedding -- please don't make them fund parts of your own party to thank them. Just my two cents.  I'm not trying to be snarky or harsh or mean...just trying to help.
    Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

    I haven't read the rest of the responses but ditto Angelsong.  You are already asking your wedding party to buy a dress, rent a suit or tux, etc.  You cannot ask them to buy booze for your wedding. 

    How much are you paying per person for food? 

    One more observation from my wedding:  even when you get it down to 95, you're going to remember someone that your forgot to send an invite to and then your count is going to go back up.  Is the extra 12 people completely blowing your budget or is it just a hiccup?
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