Snarky Brides

Stupid exes

Katie's thread below reminded me of a ridiculous story about a boy I once dated: I was seeing a guy who actually got jealous of my kitten, Nomad. He made snide remarks about how much I loved the cat and at one point actually asked me to chose between him and the kitten: he wanted to know which I'd save if they were both drowning. I, naturally, replied that I'd save Nomad given that the boy could swim and should be ok to save himself. 

 

Somewhat amusing, although in hindsight I can't believe I dated someone so moronic in the first place... so to ease my humiliation, tell me stories about awkward dates you've been on and/or the amusing stupidity of people your exes. 

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Re: Stupid exes

  • This isn't amusing but an ex from high school killed himself a couple years ago.  Very sad. 
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  • Wow, that's really sad Lucky. 

  • I dated a paranoid schizophrenic when I was 15. Not really funny either. Hmm, let me think...

    I briefly dated H's best friend/best man.
    I once dated (casually) 3 people at one time.

    Okay, these stories just reflect poorly on me. I fail.
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  • I really didn't date much before H and I got together, but I remember being in 11th grade or so and this boy, Will, really liked me. He asked me to homecoming, and I didn't want to be mean, so I said yes. He was nice and everything but I didn't want it to lead anything.

    So I give him my phone number and everything and he starts calling me immediately after school. Every. Day. And it was weird, because he'd talk almost like a dad would, "SOOOOO!!! HOW WAS YOUR DAY TODAAAAAY???? REALLYYYYYY??? WELL THAT'S GREAAAAAT!!!"

    Because it freaked me out, I called him right before the dance to cancel, because I just couldn't handle a whole evening with him. I told him that my dad had come into town and wanted me to go to his house for the weekend. (It could have happened). I ended up going to the dance anyway, and had decided that if he ended up going anyway, I would just tell him that I begged my dad to come and by the time he said I could go, it was too late to call.

    It's not that exciting, really.
  • Not my ex, but my best friends.
    BFF started dating this guy who was 21 when she was 17. NBD, right?
    Except he was actually 24 and had a fake drivers license and fake birth certificate to make himself look younger. They dated for months, and apparently everyone knew but her and me. She even looked at the birth certificate once. Even his parents failed to mention his (highly illegal) deception.

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  • Lol Jess. Did he find out you went without him?
  • Jasmine, is the age of consent under 17 there? I am guessing so. That is really, really weird. Did he have these documents on hand before he met her?
  • 16 if the partner is 18 or under, otherwise it is 18. Yes, he had these things before they started dating. Apparently she wasn't the first high school girl he had dated. It was very strange.
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  • I once dated a guy in college for about a month, who then broke up with me because of our differing political views (He was very very conservative, I was not.) He just wasn't sure how we'd raise our kids(!). 

    About 6 months after that, he Facebooks me to let me know he's getting married, and maybe another 6 months after that, Facebooks me out of the blue to let me know they were having a baby. That they named Liberty. 

    God Bless America. 

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  • I'll join in. My last ex was a complete ass hat, so I have a ton of stories!

    Ex, myself, my brother, and two of mine and my brother's friends went to a comedy show one night. For some reason, Ex made the "joke" that he would pay for me to get implants. I had never, ever mentioned wanting implants, so needless to say, I was pissed and slapped him across the face.

    Same Ex was texting and falling asleep during my Grandma's funeral. I'm not sure if that's better or worse than him skipping my Grandpa's funeral because he thought his dad's Christmas party was more important.

    I dated this guy for 3 years and I have no idea why.
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  • TheSun, no, I never did. I just avoided him. ;)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:88690aa9-7124-41b9-b5f5-1726dd76efda">Re: Stupid exes</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll join in. My last ex was a complete ass hat, so I have a ton of stories! Ex, myself, my brother, and two of mine and my brother's friends went to a comedy show one night. For some reason, Ex made the "joke" that he would pay for me to get implants. I had never, ever mentioned wanting implants, so needless to say, I was pissed and slapped him across the face. Same Ex was texting and falling asleep during my Grandma's funeral. I'm not sure if that's better or worse than him skipping my Grandpa's funeral because he thought his dad's Christmas party was more important. I dated this guy for 3 years and I have no idea why.
    Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]
    <p> </p><p>Texting during the funeral?!  Dear god! </p><p> </p><p>I dated a guy in HS who was a complete loser. I dated him all of the final year, mostly because after a couple of months I wanted to break up with him and he kept telling me he'd kill myself if I ever broke up with him, lol. He used to tell the most ridiculous, embarrassing white lies. For instance, he once told my family that his dad used to have a car which talked (this is WAY before having cars that did talk, btw! My car actually does say, 'pardon' if it doesn't hear your instructions, lol, but this was well before that) and it was hugely embarrassing because his family was very poor and even if such a thing had existed then, there was no way his family would have it. He would lie about things that had happened when we were both there to other people, and then I'd be in the awkward position of having to pick between correcting his very obvious exaggeration or being party to the lie. </p>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:89877768-0986-4e22-9137-c8abd71dafdc">Re: Stupid exes</a>:
    [QUOTE]I once dated a guy in college for about a month, who then broke up with me because of our differing political views (He was very very conservative, I was not.) He just wasn't sure how we'd raise our kids(!).  About 6 months after that, he Facebooks me to let me know he's getting married, and maybe another 6 months after that, Facebooks me out of the blue to let me know they were having a baby. That they named Liberty.  God Bless America. 
    Posted by geekyhostess[/QUOTE]
    <p> </p><p>You dodged a bullet with that one, clearly!</p>
  • My abusive college ex married the girl he cheated on me with.  He cheated on her with me the night of his bachelor party.  (I didnt know he was engaged or that it was his bach party).

    Another ex just recently found me on facebook and wants another shot, lol. 

    Its amazing who comes out of the woodwork as the wedding gets closer.
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  • Sun - That's just weird about his lies. I don't think I would have been able to keep a straight face while he told people about his talking car, much less back him up.

    Also, that's really horrible that he threatened to kill himself. My Ex never went that far, but he did tell me once that he took a whole bunch of some kind  of pills to "dull the pain" or something like that. And he carved my intials into his leg. Super creepy!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:f5ef10b0-ddc1-484c-a98a-6fc6afb3d328">Re: Stupid exes</a>:
    [QUOTE]My abusive college ex married the girl he cheated on me with.  He cheated on her with me the night of his bachelor party.  (I didnt know he was engaged or that it was his bach party).
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    Wait, I thought you said you slept with him as revenge on the other girl?  Or was that someone else?  Me confoosed.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:709254e6-00f8-4e8b-a5ad-84caa28d640f">Re: Stupid exes</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, that's really horrible that he threatened to kill himself. My Ex never went that far, but he did tell me once that he took a whole bunch of some kind  of pills to "dull the pain" or something like that. <strong>And he carved my intials into his leg</strong>. Super creepy!
    Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]

    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-surprised.gif" border="0" alt="Surprised" title="Surprised" />
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:7ad981d2-7a2d-4712-9e36-746ee7516960">Re: Stupid exes</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid exes : Wait, I thought you said you slept with him as revenge on the other girl?  Or was that someone else?  Me confoosed.
    Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]

    The revenge part was after I found out he was married.  Same guy. 

    But he is not the first ex to marry the girl he cheated on me with.  Im like Dane Cooks character in Good Luck Chuck.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
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    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Oh!  Ok. That makes sense then.  If it wasn't you I was going to go insane trying to remember who it was, lol.
  • Yeah the first time it happened I was duped.  Lol.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
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    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
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    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Kim - the worst part about him carving my initials in his leg is that he acted like I should be flattered that he did that for me.
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  • Well, what could be more romantic?
  • I truly can't think of anything that could be!
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  • edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:709254e6-00f8-4e8b-a5ad-84caa28d640f">Re: Stupid exes</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sun - That's just weird about his lies. I don't think I would have been able to keep a straight face while he told people about his talking car, much less back him up. Also, that's really horrible that he threatened to kill himself. My Ex never went that far, but he did tell me once that he took a whole bunch of some kind  of pills to "dull the pain" or something like that. And he carved my intials into his leg. Super creepy!
    <p>Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>Oh, I never agreed that any of his ridiculous stories had happened, and depending on the audience I would correct him. It was hard when we were with my family, though- he came from such a rough background that I knew they didn't think highly of him to start with and I didn't want to be drawing any more attention to his stupidity than he'd already done. Yeah, his suicide threats were blatant emotional manipulation in reality. When I left, what really happened was that he told all of my friends I was a slut who'd slept with bunches of other guys while we were together (which of course is totally like me!), and that he'd been saving for an e-ring but because he was at work all the time in order to save I'd lost interest. Oh, and a couple of months later, he turned up at my retail student job, came through my check out and told me that my new boyfriend better 'watch his back' because his family 'knows people'. </p><p>I saw him five years later at a party and one of our mutual friends came up to me and said, 'what's going on with you and ex? he was telling me about how you guys still have something going on' and then later asked my then boyfriend if he could 'walk his ex girlfriend home' because we 'have unresolved issues'. I was like, what the f?! No we do not! Needless to say, I checked guest lists of future parties before attending!</p>
  • edited July 2010
    I once went on a date with a roommate of my friend's. At dinner I said "so tell me more about you." And he replied "I'm a pretty boring guy. All I really do is work and watch Star Trek." Way to wow me. He then follows with "I don't get people that smoke pot - it's a waste of time and money and is so stupid. I do speed once in a while, but that's different." Shortest date ever. 

    I went star gazing with a guy I was dating (for a whole week!) my senior year of HS. I asked him if he told his parents where he was and who he was with (he lied to them before, which made me look bad too) and he said "Yes, I told them we were going star gazing. But I didn't tell them I was going to be looking at the stars in your eyes." I laughed in his face - this guy had one-liners like this all the time. 
  • LedZeppelinLedZeppelin member
    1000 Comments
    edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:5f8b7683-fb0e-4e63-bd4c-3b3d796ffdbe">Re: Stupid exes</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid exes :   Oh, I never agreed that any of his ridiculous stories had happened, and depending on the audience I would correct him. It was hard when we were with my family, though- he came from such a rough background that I knew they didn't think highly of him to start with and I didn't want to be drawing any more attention to his stupidity than he'd already done. Yeah, his suicide threats were blatant emotional manipulation in reality. When I left, what really happened was that he told all of my friends I was a slut who'd slept with bunches of other guys while we were together (which of course is totally like me!), and that he'd been saving for an e-ring but because he was at work all the time in order to save I'd lost interest. Oh, and a couple of months later, he turned up at my retail student job, came through my check out and told me that my new boyfriend better 'watch his back' because his family 'knows people'.  I saw him five years later at a party and one of our mutual friends came up to me and said, 'what's going on with you and ex? he was telling me about how you guys still have something going on' and then later asked my then boyfriend if he could 'walk his ex girlfriend home' because we 'have unresolved issues'. I was like, what the f?! No we do not! Needless to say, I checked guest lists of future parties before attending!
    Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]


    Oh my goodness that guy is messed up in the head!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:ef6accab-9323-41c6-9fba-fa6b1f8a7430">Stupid exes</a>:
    [QUOTE]Katie's thread below reminded me of a ridiculous story about a boy I once dated: I was seeing a guy who actually got jealous of my kitten, Nomad. He made snide remarks about how much I loved the cat and at one point actually asked me to chose between him and the kitten:<strong> he wanted to know which I'd save if they were both drowning</strong>. I, naturally, replied that I'd save Nomad given that the boy could swim and should be ok to save himself.    Somewhat amusing, although in hindsight I can't believe I dated someone so moronic in the first place... so to ease my humiliation, tell me stories about awkward dates you've been on and/or the amusing stupidity of people your exes. 
    Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]

    Hahahahahahahahaha! I love this. What a dufus.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:80acc263-b2da-4b42-9efa-ac31ea0bcd17">Re: Stupid exes</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Stupid exes : Hahahahahahahahaha! I love this. What a dufus.
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
    <p> </p><p>I know. I tried to restrain myself from laughing in his face but seriously, wtf?! Your kitten jealousy is not a turn-on!</p><p> </p><p>How are you doing, dear cew?</p>
  • edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:c0cb9d3f-1a8f-4b6b-b660-e6597ad228e7">Re: Stupid exes</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid exes : Oh my goodness that guy is messed up in the head!
    <p>Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]</p><p>
    Indeed! Embarrassing to admit that I dated anyone like that ever! Damn low-self esteem, bleeding heart teenage years!</p>
  • Yeah. I would say that qualifies as the exact opposite of sexy.

    I'm doing well. Just trying to get over this stupid cold that I have going on. Work has finally slowed down, which is nice. I'm going to try to enjoy it because I know it won't last.

    How are you, beautiful? How are the renovations going?
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