My MOH's not that great?

aacobs

Does anyone know of a good guidebook or something for a MOH?

Mine has never been a bridesmaid really, let alone a MOH, so it's not her fault she's dropping the ball.

However, my MOH just keeps asking me what the plans are for everything - particularly the things she should be planning. She wants to know the plan for the birdal shower, the bachelorette party, etc. How do I suggest to her the MOH duties?

Also, for her, EVERYTHING comes back to how much money she doesn't have. I'm not expecting her to spend a lot of money. I'm paying for the girls' dresses, the hair, nails, makeup, whatever else they want.  So I feel like spending $4.50 on a package of bachelorette invites should not be that big a deal.. but apparently it is.

She's my best friend and I love her dearly - but I'm frustrated. It feels like I'm planning my own surprise party or something. Does anyone else see what I'm saying???

NatesGirl16

Joke?

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mohs-not-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1852430b-01b1-49c5-a2b8-c1f06287929aPost:e7bcf765-c6fb-4907-b0a5-ecc37908c53f">My MOH's not that great?</a>:
[QUOTE]Does anyone know of a good guidebook or something for a MOH? Mine has never been a bridesmaid really, let alone a MOH, so it's not her fault she's dropping the ball. However, my MOH just keeps asking me what the plans are for everything - particularly the things she should be planning. She wants to know the plan for the birdal shower, the bachelorette party, etc. How do I suggest to her the MOH duties? Also, for her, EVERYTHING comes back to how much money she doesn't have. I'm not expecting her to spend a lot of money. I'm paying for the girls' dresses, the hair, nails, makeup, whatever else they want.  So I feel like spending $4.50 on a package of bachelorette invites should not be that big a deal.. but apparently it is. She's my best friend and I love her dearly - but I'm frustrated. It feels like I'm planning my own surprise party or something. Does anyone else see what I'm saying???
Posted by aacobs[/QUOTE]

Not really. My moh planned everything because she loves planning. Had she not liked planning then I would have either not had the parties or another BM would have stepped in. She has no obligations to you but to show up the day of in the dress you ask and support you. Everything else is extra and up to her.

My moh also asked me what I wanted for the bachelorette party. It was important to her that I enjoy that day. Maybe she was asking for an idea of what you wanted/when you wanted it instead of saying "We're doing X at x time" and having you be unavailable.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mohs-not-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1852430b-01b1-49c5-a2b8-c1f06287929aPost:a4b5ce74-ec1b-4ccf-ade1-40da6ae5b4a2">Re: My MOH's not that great?</a>:
[QUOTE]Joke?
Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]

Haha! I was just thinking "please be real"

MarriedInAFever

jlw1492

Your MOH's only "duty" is to show up the day of your wedding in her dress.  Everything else is extra.  You are not entitled to a shower and she is not SUPPOSED to throw you one.  You should have some say in your bachelorette party, that doesn't have to be a surprise.

Don't get her any kind of guide or give her any list of duties.  She's your friend, not your party planner or your slave.

NatesGirl16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mohs-not-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1852430b-01b1-49c5-a2b8-c1f06287929aPost:66e5a759-f7da-45d3-b30e-5e5b33125ac5">Re: My MOH's not that great?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My MOH's not that great? : Haha! I was just thinking "please be real"
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]
<img border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

(OOH, TK is doing "tongue ou"t again!)

Milf is getting a lot of use out of that pic today.

AdeleDazeem

oh sweet.  Something interesting to read!

Carry on.

[Deleted User]

I want a birdal shower. Complete with a feathery peacock headress, fake silk wings, pin-the-tail-on-the-goose games, and an egg-laying contest. Someone make it happen. Now.

Shaye526

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mohs-not-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1852430b-01b1-49c5-a2b8-c1f06287929aPost:e7bcf765-c6fb-4907-b0a5-ecc37908c53f">My MOH's not that great?</a>:
[QUOTE]Does anyone know of a good guidebook or something for a MOH? Mine has never been a bridesmaid really, let alone a MOH, <strong>so it's not her fault she's dropping the ball.</strong> However, my MOH just keeps asking me what the plans are for everything - particularly the things she should be planning. She wants to know the plan for the birdal shower, the bachelorette party, etc. How do I suggest to her the MOH duties? Also, for her, EVERYTHING comes back to how much money she doesn't have. I'm not expecting her to spend a lot of money. I'm paying for the girls' dresses, the hair, nails, makeup, whatever else they want.  So I feel like spending $4.50 on a package of bachelorette invites should not be that big a deal.. but apparently it is. She's my best friend and I love her dearly - but I'm frustrated. It feels like I'm planning my own surprise party or something. Does anyone else see what I'm saying???Posted by aacobs[/QUOTE]

You're certainly right. It's not her fault. That's statement is the biggest issue I have with your post.

I think maybe you're intentions are good but as PP's have stated she's not obligated to do any of that stuff for you although it's generally accepted that your bridesmaids will often help to plan certain events leading up to your wedding.

I don't know what your particular situation is other than what you've written. Have you had previous discussions with her about planning anything. Did she say she was going to plan things for you? Maybe it would be a good idea to talk with your bridal party about what they're willing to do and then they can all get together and work it out amongst themselves. But there's no manual or guide as to how to be a  BM or MOH, so you should probably get that idea out of your head now.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mohs-not-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1852430b-01b1-49c5-a2b8-c1f06287929aPost:bbd43dd0-d5bc-4b49-ae4f-2c5dc8fe5e42">Re: My MOH's not that great?</a>:
[QUOTE]I want a birdal shower. Complete with a feathery peacock headress, fake silk wings, pin-the-tail-on-the-goose games, and an egg-laying contest. Someone make it happen. Now.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]


Ok there, Veruca  :P

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Whenever one of my BMs asked what I was doing for my bachelorette or shower I would laugh and say, "hey, that's not my job!"

Eventually one of my BMs planned my bachelorette. And had 2 planning meetings with me about it, but that's another story.

LedZeppelin

This sounds promising!

MarriedInAFever

I love that picture.

NatesGirl16

I can't decide who wins--Sesh or CS.

NatesGirl16

I also tried to post a picture of an awesome bird that I want to wear to Seshat's birdal party, but, alas, TK has other plans.

vegasgroom

Give her $4.50 and call it a day.

katiewhompus

Here I'm being all nice and stuff...geez! Why are you so mean?

AdeleDazeem

Dear OP: please come back. 

Much love, the many posters waiting for some magic to happen.

Blueyed228

You should throw her into a tank full of laser sharks.  Right after you kick her out of your wedding.

NatesGirl16

OP, please use this.

http://www.pashweddings.com/weddingforums/showthread.php?t=8970

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mohs-not-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1852430b-01b1-49c5-a2b8-c1f06287929aPost:1631a98c-4d82-4452-96d0-b9ae25470d69">Re: My MOH's not that great?</a>:
[QUOTE]I also tried to post a picture of an awesome bird that I want to wear to Seshat's birdal party, but, alas, TK has other plans.
Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]

and now I really want to see it.

NatesGirl16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mohs-not-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1852430b-01b1-49c5-a2b8-c1f06287929aPost:fcfb347f-1b3c-40ca-ab60-586b04015014">Re: My MOH's not that great?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My MOH's not that great? : and now I really want to see it.
Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]
Ask and ye shall receive.

<a href="http://www.scienceofcorrespondences.com/bird-of-paradise.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.scienceofcorrespondences.com/bird-of-paradise.htm</a>

slubkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mohs-not-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1852430b-01b1-49c5-a2b8-c1f06287929aPost:81be5c77-8dff-4461-9d4c-c4f015f15f66">Re: My MOH's not that great?</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, please use this. <a href="http://www.pashweddings.com/weddingforums/showthread.php?t=8970" rel="nofollow">http://www.pashweddings.com/weddingforums/showthread.php?t=8970</a>
Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]
I think my BMs would punch me in the face if I gave them a contract like this.

[Deleted User]

Only if I get to wear this as my wedding dress. AATB did say I was a forest nymph, after all:




now, how we coming on the egg laying contest?

katiewhompus

I'm already using IE. Firefox refuses to open 90% of web pages with the wireless we have.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mohs-not-great?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1852430b-01b1-49c5-a2b8-c1f06287929aPost:e7bcf765-c6fb-4907-b0a5-ecc37908c53f">My MOH's not that great?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Does anyone know of a good guidebook or something for a MOH</strong>? Mine has never been a bridesmaid really, let alone a MOH, so it's not her fault she's dropping the ball. However, my MOH just keeps asking me what the plans are for everything - particularly the things she should be planning. She wants to know the plan for the birdal shower, the bachelorette party, etc. How do I suggest to her the MOH duties? Also, for her, EVERYTHING comes back to how much money she doesn't have. I'm not expecting her to spend a lot of money. I'm paying for the girls' dresses, the hair, nails, makeup, whatever else they want.  So I feel like spending $4.50 on a package of bachelorette invites should not be that big a deal.. but apparently it is. She's my best friend and I love her dearly - but I'm frustrated. It feels like I'm planning my own surprise party or something. Does anyone else see what I'm saying???
Posted by aacobs[/QUOTE]

I'd like to suggest this guide book for OP:


<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/11/a729999d-b1d5-4f30-9bf8-41a3ab664731.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'a729999d-b1d5-4f30-9bf8-41a3ab664731', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/11/a729999d-b1d5-4f30-9bf8-41a3ab664731.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

katiewhompus

Does this work?

  You can't see the full glory of the fabric, but it's going to be an awesome bird body.

Bridgebo117

I'm the MOH in my best friends wedding coming up soon, and I am at a total loss on how to plan things (including my own damn wedding it seems..ha).  I planned the Bachelorette party, but I had a LOT of support from my bride, and her other BM's threw in their opinion, too.  I would HOPE that you wouldn't be upset for your friend, who has had no previous experience and limited funds, for asking you things about your big day.  Some people just havent spent every waking moment for months and months thinking about weddings and planning and parties (because its on our minds all the time) or have had the experience.  Cut her some slack.

There's a lot of girls who aren't even excited for their friends nuptuals.  At least she's actively interested, even if she's not completely financially stable enough to throw you a majestic party...  If your other BM's want to pick up the bill, then thats great.  If not, help set up YOUR party.  I am having my own bachelorette party sometime in the next few months, and I really do hope I can help out with planning/logistics/pricing and maybe even a little funding...because in the end, its a party in my "honor", yes, but its not only about ME.....its about everyone having fun and getting to meet eachother, and laughin and being silly.  Not how big your "surprise" is....

So just stop freaking out and be a little understanding.

maratea

There's no way in hell my fat ass is going into a two piece outfit.

dmiller9274

Here's what I'd like to wear.
I call the yellow one, but I'd be willing to loan out the blue and pink.