So, this is more a spin off of Rayne's parental money issue. Warning: This got long.
Last August, my dad called me the day before he was going out of town, panicked because the bank messed up his automatic deposit on the mortgage and charged it twice. So, he was not only out money for other bills, he was also leaving the next day and had no money for the trip. I lent him $4500.
It has now been well over a year. I haven't seen any of that money. At the time, I was on his car insurance and was paying him monthly payments. After I lent him the money, I stopped paying him (his idea) but a few months later it got too expensive for him and he kicked me (and my brother) off of his insurance. So through that deal he's maybe paid me back $300.
Here's where it gets complicated: he has severe PTSD. The two bigs things I have to deal with in this situation are his lack of ability to control his spending (he honestly doesn't understand the hole he is digging) and his mood swings. If I remind him he owes me this money, he will be very hurt, defensive, etc. He will take it out on me, probably my mother, maybe Scott, who knows. And there's no promise after the days weeks or months it takes him to calm down that he will even pay me back.
So what do I do? Ask him if he's saving? How should I word it if I confront him? Ask the more reasonable parent to help me get it into his head that he should be saving? I don't really want to get my mom involved, and I'm worried she will try to just pay me back herself. Should I accept that at this point they need the money more than I do and try to let it go?
I don't want to stress my mom out or trigger depression/anxiety in my dad. I feel like I'm at a loss here and I should probably just let it go, but with the wedding and tuition and student loans, thing will get tight. At this point, I am still holding it against him and I don't like feeling this resentment towards my dad.