Love

Nebb

Describe love. What is your love like? How did you know you were in love?

aprovencher21

I knew I loved him when it physically hurt I missed him so much like a tightening in my chest.  When I started putting his needs in line with my own.  When I knew I didn't want to raise children with anyone but him.

npasquale16

To me, love is being able to laugh with someone, even when no one else will ever get the joke (actually especially in that case).  It's about caring for someone even when you can't stand them at that moment.  I think love means making your SO's needs a priority in your life (i.e. sometimes you have to give something up to make them happy).

I knew I loved FI when I wanted to be with him even though we were a bunch of states apart.  I knew he loved me when he took my dog, no questions asked, and took great care of him.

nda_roxybabe

Hmm...I can't describe it. I just knew. I guess I just knew when I didn't want to be with anyone else or think of seeing someone else, I just think T is it. I know that sounds cheesy.
A while back my BFF asked when I knew I told her there was never a moment where I was suddenly in love and aware of it. It just happened. I just love T.

I can tell you, I used to think you could only ever love one person and thats the person you'd marry and they would love you back. I learned, thats not true.

BecW2be

To me, love is wanting someone rather than needing them. I lived for so long with someone needing me, depending on me, and realized that's not love, it's needing someone to take care of yourshit. I don't need anyone. I want J.

This, of course, is how I feel about romantic love, not parenting love.

Nebb

To me, love is feeling like you couldnt imagine sharing this (life, good, bad, funny times, tragedy) with anyone but that person. Wanting to share everything with that person, feeling like you can share things with them in complete silence, feeling close to them just because they are there not because of something they are saying or doing. Feeling how much you care even when you are raging mad, being able to get over hurt or anger because you love them enough to let go.

I knew I loved my husband when I felt safe, when I felt my feelings and my person was safe with him and when I felt comfortable around him all of the time. I think thats intimacy.

nda_roxybabe

From the few responses so far, I think it's evident love is not that same for everyone. There is no true definition.

npasquale16

I think the wanting/needing difference and intimacy is very important in setting love apart from other emotions.  When you know you choose to be with a person, rather than keep them around for company, even when they're annoying/frustrating/whatever, there's love. Love means not expecting  your SO to make you happy (although they do).  Also, love is about being to open your boundaries enough to be completely comfortable with that person, no matter what. 

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_love-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1ead982f-b4a2-445f-a37c-b221f7242a4dPost:c4202510-d95e-4250-8d39-d721c547714c">Re: Love</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, man, I can barely pee in front of FI.  Yet I have no problem throwing up in front of him when I'm sick.  What kind of weird double standard is that?  I'm just weird like that, even after 2 years of living together and nearly 4 years together. That was a great description, Ricks.
Posted by npasquale16[/QUOTE]

No worries, I've thrown up in front of FI a million times. aaanndd...even worse, He watched Emerson be born, so yah. I should be able to go to the bathroom/fart in front of him - but I can't.

Nebb

I shared a nasty bout of food poisoning with my husband a few years ago, we both had it coming out from both ends. Having to share a tiny bathroom during a time like that makes you feel a lot more comfortable with a person.

npasquale16

I've shaped how FI dresses, but I look at it as an imrovement plan, rather than a radical change.  I've taught him how to properly size clothes and pick things that look good on him, so he dresses the way he wants, but he looks way better.

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_love-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1ead982f-b4a2-445f-a37c-b221f7242a4dPost:f1fe8584-27b4-4b36-9ec3-478e0d792bab">Re: Love</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Love : I tried that. I tried to get Adam to dress like seth from the OC when we first started dating. Then occured teh night of the "piece of shiit brown sweater", and I gave up.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Slowly but surely FI has given up the fight.  I've won.  I relish my victories.

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_love-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1ead982f-b4a2-445f-a37c-b221f7242a4dPost:c4202510-d95e-4250-8d39-d721c547714c">Re: Love</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, man, I can barely pee in front of FI.  Yet I have no problem throwing up in front of him when I'm sick.  What kind of weird double standard is that?  I'm just weird like that, even after 2 years of living together and nearly 4 years together. That was a great description, Ricks.
Posted by npasquale16[/QUOTE]

I've puked more times that I could ever remember in front of FI.  I've also had a port for chemo so FI has had to change bandages, help me to the bathroom and I've also had an "accident" in bed due to medications and he's changed the bed and everything.  He's actually beyond wonderful.

Oh and he buys me bulk supplies of tampons and pads without bitching.

npasquale16

Nebb, what is the piece of shiit brown sweater?

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_love-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1ead982f-b4a2-445f-a37c-b221f7242a4dPost:131e49f0-f4fe-4314-977a-0b2944d97fb5">Re: Love</a>:
[QUOTE]Nebb, what is the piece of shiit brown sweater?
Posted by npasquale16[/QUOTE]
I got him this brown argyle sweater, that he HATED, but I loved. I made him wear it to a NYE party one night when he got trashed and I got mad and left. Months later, I saw a video of him that night right before they caught their cab, and someone handed him the sweater and he started ranting about the "piece of shiit brown sweater" and how much he hated it. He followed by saying "and do you know why im wearing it?! Because I LOVE HER!!" - at nye time, he had not yet told me he loved me, it was just not something we had exchanged. He loved me before he ever even told me :)

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_love-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1ead982f-b4a2-445f-a37c-b221f7242a4dPost:cd0fe8e8-c412-4e77-ac63-af753bbc9a1a">Re: Love</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Love : I got him this brown argyle sweater, that he HATED, but I loved. I made him wear it to a NYE party one night when he got trashed and I got mad and left. Months later, I saw a video of him that night right before they caught their cab, and someone handed him the sweater and he started ranting about the "piece of shiit brown sweater" and how much he hated it. He followed by saying "and do you know why im wearing it?! Because I LOVE HER!!" - at nye time, he had not yet told me he loved me, it was just not something we had exchanged. He loved me before he ever even told me :)
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Awwww that is quite sweet.  You are very loveable.

npasquale16

Aw, that's a great story!

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_love-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:1ead982f-b4a2-445f-a37c-b221f7242a4dPost:cd0fe8e8-c412-4e77-ac63-af753bbc9a1a">Re: Love</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Love : I got him this brown argyle sweater, that he HATED, but I loved. I made him wear it to a NYE party one night when he got trashed and I got mad and left. Months later, I saw a video of him that night right before they caught their cab, and someone handed him the sweater and he started ranting about the "piece of shiit brown sweater" and how much he hated it. He followed by saying "and do you know why im wearing it?! Because I LOVE HER!!" - at nye time, he had not yet told me he loved me, it was just not something we had exchanged. He loved me before he ever even told me :)
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

I love this story!

Shaye526

That's adorable Nebb.  : )

Goodnight Ladies. I've had a great time but I'm starting to get very sleepy and am looking forward to bed.

npasquale16

I'm off, too.  These were great stories/explanations, though!  Night!

future-mrs

I knew I loved him when he said he had had a thought one night about "looking at me for the rest of his life"  That hit me hardcore.  Also, he told me once, "I would rather fight with you and learn from it, then not have you in my life."  He has this way with saying earth-shaking phrases that make me go "whoa, that was deep" 

When we're annoyed with each other, he'll say "I still love you.  Every. Day."  It's hard to be mad still after that. 

Love is thinking about being without them and it hurting, like physically and emotionally.  Love is them breaking down that wall that you never thought could be broken. 

He says it's when he knew he could spend the rest of his life fighting the same person every day.  He would rather fight than lose me I guess.  Basically what I said.

[Deleted User]

I've never been in love before H. I wasn't even sure I was capable of feeling it  and part of me didn't want to, because I didn't want to ever be that connected to someone else. This is why I never dated, because I was afraid of someone getting that close to me.

So with H, I realized it almost in an "oh shiit" kind of way. We were talking about places we'd love to go and he said he's alwasy wanted to move to New Zealand to do marine research. He made some comment about how he still plans on going in the future and I remember feeling extremely sad because I was afraid he wouldn't want to take me with him. That was when I knew. But I refused to say it first.

For me, I can't really describe love. It's a feeling. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I hear him walking up to the door, or when I hear his ringtone on my phone. I miss him when I go home to visit for a few days. It makes me sad even attempting to imagine life without him. I feel safe and comfortable, and have stopped looking over my shoulder every day because I know he's there to protect me.

Anysunrise

I completely missed this thread last night.

I can't imagine my life in 5, 10, 50 years without FI. Since we met, I've never even considered the possibility. Whenever I'm around him, everything is just...better. We have so much fun together, and he really is my best friend. I love how much in common we have, despite the age difference and growing up in two completely different situations. I've never had the level of intimacy and comfort that I have with him before.


I knew I was in love when I had been craving peanut butter sandwhiches all day, but I didn't want to bother him at work and ask him to buy some bread and peanut butter on his way home. That night, he comes home with bread and peanut butter and says "I remembered you like to snack on these, so I thought I'd get you some".  I remember thinking after that "This man is my soulmate!", lol.

reddy123

Any- my H does the same thing, he always brings home the little things I've been craving all day and just hands them over nonchalant and says, "I thought you might like some ___" It's like a psychic connection or something. I'm always amazed.

H and I were close friends for years before we got together. So basically we had years to get to know each other, go through life changing events, and also years of hiding an attraction which kind of resulted in this hot tension that eventually boiled over, and we've been together ever since (almost 5 years).

 I definitely feel a spiritual connection to H's love, whereas my past relationships were "just" love. Not to downplay them, because I actually believe that love never ends(cheesy!), and I still love all my ex's, in some degree. H is a spiritual, deeper love (maybe a fateful or a meant-to-be feeling? My past loves, I can think of 'deal breakers', but H, as flawed as he is, none are ever going to be deal breakers and he feels the same way about me).

I don't know if any of this makes sense, it's a little babbly, I need more coffee, but I also think love (and my love) is hard to describe in a paragraph. That's why I forced H and I to write two sentence vows, lol. If you gave us a pen and paper, we would write 10 page love letters as vows and, in a way, I knew what he would write. I was curious what we would both say if we were only allowed a few words. It turned out really great actually, and more like three sentences. Everyone says it was their favorite part of the whole day.

flyjawn

i knew i was in love when i could picture us growing old together; when i realized that i wanted to have kids with him... (i have two and thought i was done); and when i couldn't imagine what life would like without him.