Snarky Brides

unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!

My best friend of 3 years has been acting super werid since we announced our engagement last Sunday. She canceled on girl time 3 times last week for her boyfriend and wasn't too sincere in her congrats. I don't even remember if she did or not to be honest. I'm about 90% sure it's a jealously thing, cause she ranted the same to me last year when both her sisters got married. She's 22 and I'm 19 so it's probably an age thing but I've been dating my BF longer than she has dated hers. I don't want to approach her on this and make things worse but it hurts because I had always saw her as my MOH and after the immature was she's acted I'm not so sure. The people I work with and just met 3 months ago were happier and more excited for me than she was and I've known her for 3 years. I'm just hurt. I don't even know why I am upset about it. My 'best friend' gave up on school cause she was tired of it and has no goals, her boyfriend who she turns me down for has failed out of 3 schools already and can't seem to handle stress or get a job. So I don't know why I'm upset. It's probably just all jealousy on her part.


My parents too got mad at me when I said I wanted to get married next year. Even though they got engaged at my age. My BF's parents got mad too when we talked about next year. I don't know what's with people but we are happy and it just hurts not many other people are. I know it's that they think we are too young or that they want us to be taken care of but after 4 years of dating and being abstinate it's pretty darn hard to be patient much longer. I'm graduating next semester and he still has two years left but we are going to make it work. Divorce is not in our vocabulary.

What kind of other unsupport have others recieved?
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Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!

  • edited November 2010
    Also, you should probably change your screen name. Like, really.
  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited November 2010
    I should probably add, T and I were engaged when we were 19. Even though I'm still with him I am so glad we didn't married then, we weren't immature but I really don't think we were ready to be married then. Even as much as we thought we were, we were not.
    ETA: this is not the case with everyone I realize. I know several people who got married at 18/19 and are still together. I'm just saying though.
  • Nicely said SEWF.

    Also - Roxy I also love the new sig :)
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:39f3a19f-f98b-48a3-a5cb-4c934003e930">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Kim, I love your "jack" - o  - lantern!
    Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]

    Thanks!  I think that was the main draw for the<em> two</em> trick or treaters we got. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
  • I just had ONE friend behave similiarly to yours.  Unlike you I didnt try to fix it.  I just left her behind and then she was left wonderin why the mutual friends were upset with her.  I think you should find out what your parents are concerned about.  Maybe they feel that you're too young just like they were too young.  I had the opposite problem. I was about 2 years too late in gettin married. But see what the parents have to say.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:b9f84e84-4314-4d5b-baa2-ed6fbecab9df">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]It sucks that your family is not being supportive. You would hope that people would be happy for you, but sometimes that's not the case. You said you are 19 and graduating. Is this from high school? I don't want to bring you down, but I kind of understand why your family is concerned. You may have been together for four years, but that is HIGH SCHOOL years, which is nothing like the real world. Hell, my FI and I have been together almost seven years, and we didn't even meet until the end of our freshman year of college. And even though we were a bit older, we still had the stupid fights and growing up to do before we got to the place we are now. We broke up and lived a bit, came back together and reevaluated. There is no way that we would have been ready to get married after four years together, and that would have made us 22. The real world is a harsh place, and please consider that you may not be as grown up as you think you are. As for why people are unsupportive, maybe they are worried that you haven't had enough experience yet. I'm guessing that if you and your FI are getting married, you will be living together. <strong>Be sure you know the answers to lots of different questions: Have you started looking for places to live? Do you know how to set up utilities? Are you planning on college? How will you pay for it? What's his stance on children? What's your stance on children? Are either of you religious? how do each of you handle finances? Do you both have jobs to be able to support yourselves?</strong> Because I guarantee  you that your parents will not be there to bail you out each month. The reason I said all this is because I want you to really think about what you are planning to do. All I get from your post is a teenager whining because everyone else is jealous and unsupportive and hypocritical. And that doesn't even start to cover the fact that your post makes you sound like a typical horny teenager, because "after 4 years of dating and being abstinate it's pretty darn hard to be patient much longer". Wow.  Please, think about the real reasons you should be getting married. Not because you want to have sex. Part of being mature is being open minded and considering other people's points of view. Maybe your family and friend have real points of concern, and that's the reason they are not happy about your engagement. 
    Posted by SEWF[/QUOTE]

    To this I would add:

    Health insurance, do you have jobs that offer it, and can you afford it?  Once your married, no more being on mom and dad's insurance.  How about life insurance?  If your married, and one of you dies, the surviving spouse is still liable for outstanding debts.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:0d439028-5e96-46ea-bb1f-746996effbf1">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh! : Thanks!  I think that was the main draw for the two trick or treaters we got.
    Posted by kimheartsscott[/QUOTE]

    We had a ton! It was crazy. My dad lives on the west side and said he didn't get any, though.
    Photobucket
  • Led, I didn't expect many because we live in a townhouse.  Lame.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:feeccd56-62f5-4ac9-92d1-08bb6f33ab34">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nicely said SEWF. Also - Roxy I also love the new sig :)
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    <div>Awww, thanks! I didn't realize how long it was until I finished!</div>
    image
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  • Kim, that makes sense. When we lived in an apartment, I think we only got two also. Now we're renting a house in a somewhat newer neighborhood, so I think there a lot of young families around.
    Photobucket
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:fafc8ea3-fdb7-4a8e-bc2a-df9d3e09a4d8">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Out of curiosity as well, when your parents became angry/were upset at your news, how did you react to that?
    Posted by mrs.jesse[/QUOTE]

    This is a very good question.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:fafc8ea3-fdb7-4a8e-bc2a-df9d3e09a4d8">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Out of curiosity as well, when your parents became angry/were upset at your news, how did you react to that?
    Posted by mrs.jesse[/QUOTE]


    Yes, and are they aware you're using your real and very searchable name on an internet forum?

    This is making me cringe.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:b2a32829-6570-42f8-b119-a4a77cf56e45">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh! : Yes, and are they aware you're using your real and very searchable name on an internet forum? This is making me cringe.
    Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]


    ...Is there something you're trying to say, here, LTZ?  :)
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:6e650941-07e6-4900-a34f-f03745d0dcf3">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, you should probably change your screen name. Like, really.
    Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

    I'm going to second this. I made the same mistake, initially. You really should heed this advice.
    Photobucket
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:8b75dd07-6e96-4d2a-95b0-219846177a6f">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh! : ...Is there something you're trying to say, here, LTZ?  :)
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    Haha. Yes. I am an internet predator.
  • I hate when they don't come back.  Or when they're slow.  Slow people = not fun.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:e2f0aa55-e4bc-459e-9193-36a09e4f2e5d">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh! : Haha. Yes. I am an internet predator.
    Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

    So in that survey when you said we could be IRL friends, what you really meant was that we could meet in a shady bar and you could slip something in my drink while I'm in the bathroom?
    Photobucket
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:3e016608-0b62-4d15-b017-a075e028dd5c">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh! : So in that survey when you said we could be IRL friends, what you really meant was that we could meet in a shady bar and you could slip something in my drink while I'm in the bathroom?
    Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]

    No, no, no.  Haven't you ever watched Dateline?  She's going to show up at your front door with alcohol and condoms, you'll leave to get some ice, and when you come back she'll be sitting naked at the kitchen table.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:3e016608-0b62-4d15-b017-a075e028dd5c">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh! : So in that survey when you said we could be IRL friends, what you really meant was that we could meet in a shady bar and you could slip something in my drink while I'm in the bathroom?
    Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]

    No. I'd hire someone else to slip something in your drink, after I suggest that we go into the bathroom to fix our lip gloss and gossip about all the hoars in the shady bar.

    This ain't my first rodeo.   : )
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:f067fb47-d5e0-4e6d-85dd-e240f4be104b">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I hate when they don't come back.  Or when they're slow.  Slow people = not fun.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]


    Unless, they're zombies. Slow zombies are cool. Nebb would totally back me up on that. I think.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:7f1f5bc6-d490-4993-ab2d-2e83a176d5c7">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh! : No, no, no.  Haven't you ever watched Dateline?  She's going to show up at your front door with alcohol and condoms, you'll leave to get some ice, and when you come back she'll be sitting naked at the kitchen table.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]


    Yeah or this. And there better be some cookies and lemonade when I get there.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:7f1f5bc6-d490-4993-ab2d-2e83a176d5c7">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh! : No, no, no.  Haven't you ever watched Dateline?  She's going to show up at your front door with alcohol and condoms, you'll leave to get some ice, and when you come back she'll be sitting naked at the kitchen table.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    DED
    image
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unsupportive-friends-family-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2642d34d-c812-4a94-852f-dd8bd540f24fPost:e3444e9c-549f-4f48-bb4f-c056e9505482">Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: unsupportive friends and family. Ugh! : Unless, they're zombies. Slow zombies are cool. Nebb would totally back me up on that. I think.
    Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

    <div>You really only need to be faster than the slow people...</div>
    image
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  • Haha. wow. Apparently I'm behind the times with the ways of the sexual predator.
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  • Alright. Well, it's 1:20am here and for some reason I'm wide awake but I have to attempt to go to sleep.

    Goodnight.  ; )
  • Goodnight LTZ! If you can't sleep and need some company, I'll be just outside your window :)
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  • Yeah I'm headed off to bed too.  Hopefully this picks up in the night and I'll have something fun to read in the morning besides election garbage.

    Peace, betches!
    panther
  • I need  to go to bed too, too much work though!
  • H and I are headed to bed too. Goodnight!

    AATB- I hope tomorrow goes smoothly for you.
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  • I'm not going to touch on the other stuff because PPs already did, and I don't want to start an argument on how young is too young to get married because I'll come off as way to judgmental.

    But I do want to say this. It doesn't matter what age your parents got engaged or married at. I hate when peole use that argument, "Oh, my parents and grandparents got married young, so of course it will work out for us!" Times were different then. Even my mom will tell you that when she was 18, most people were getting engaged or married right out of high school. It was the norm. That's not the norm now.

    So use a different argument. Maybe they don't think you're mature enough to get married yet (and if you're wanting to get married just for sex, maybe they're right). Maybe they don't like your FI, in which case you should wonder why.
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