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kavecki

ZZ

AllAboutTheBenjamin

You know you're not entitled to a honeymoon, right?  With that said, a honeymoon does not have to be a lavish vacation.  Use your imagination.

Why aren't you having a girls night/bachelorette?

I don't think your FI shouldn't have his bachelor party just because you guys aren't taking a nice honeymoon.  Although I will say I think it's a little shitty on his part that he's allowing strippers even though he knows you're uncomfortable with it.  My husband went to Vegas for three days with his guys for his bach party, and there was definitely some strip clubbing going on, but I didn't mind.  I know if I did mind, though, he wouldn't have done it.

ElleB87

This is a perfect example of why the bride and groom should pay for all things wedding related. When others pay, they have all the say.  It sucks that this is being sprung on you last minute but it is your in-laws money and they can do with it what they please.  As for your FI's b-party...did he plan this shindig himself?  If he did that's incredibly tacky.  Although I must say that I find muti-day b-parties to be pretty tacky.  If your FI knows how you feel about his partying and to spite you he plans a 3 day booze fest with a stripper from each state, you need to address that BEFORE you marry him.

brandichamberlain

Do you have the ability to do something smaller than your original plans for a honeymoon?  Maybe a road trip, or a few nights away somewhere somewhat close?  We planned ours for 5 months after the wedding because of cost, so it's more like a vacation but we use the term honeymoon between the two of us. 

Does your FI know how you feel about the strippers?  Have you calmly explained your feelings?

Why aren't you doing a bachelorette party?  You don't have to have a huge drinking fest for it to be that.  A few girls going to the spa or to dinner can be nice, too!

specialk84

A honeymoon is not required, especially a lavish one. If you must have one, you can go away for a weekend to someplace local and inexpensive. Surely there's a nice B&B in your area.

Second, my only problem with his b-party is the strippers, since you have let him know you don't like them. I think he should respect that.

As for him having a b-party and you not, well, tough titties. You aren't supposed to plan or ask someone to plan your party, so if his friends offered, good for him. My H had a b-party (free of strippers), and I did not. It wasn't a huge deal.

LetsHikeToday

Maybe you guys should have saved your own money for your honeymoon? 

I'd be pissed if I was uncomfortable with strippers but my husband went anyway; however, I don't think, just because his parents backed out of paying for your honeymoon, that your husband shouldn't have a bachelor party.

baystateapple

Is your FI paying for his bachelor party?  If he is, I can understand why you'd be upset (and embarassed, since it's rude to plan your own party).  If not, then I don't get it.  His friends want to throw him a party.  You two not going on a fancy HM has nothing to do with the bachelor party.

Though I DO think that he should respect your opinion re: strippers.

[Deleted User]

Is he shelling out thousands for this big party, or are his friends covering a lot of costs? If he was solely paying for it, then I'd be a little annoyed for sure. But if other people are pitching in, it's a whole different ballgame.

And I agree with PPs, if he knows you are uncomfortable with strippers then he needs to respect that.

I told H he could have his bach party, but under no circumstances would I tolerate strippers and his friends had better respect that. So his best man bought him a can of paint stripper and gave him a Hawaiian lei so he could say he got "laid."

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_no-honeymoon-but-the-groom-having-big-bachelor-party-angry-bride-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:26c2106e-d3f6-480b-a85c-bee0e1b10f70Post:d47f0e0a-5157-47bd-b597-2ee3da43921c">Re: No Honeymoon, But the Groom having BIG bachelor party (angry bride rant)</a>:
[QUOTE]Fiance was supposed to pay for honeymoon not his parents, I have contributed greatly from my own pocket, but I hadn;t intended to pay for the honeymoon as well on my own with out fiance help. <strong>but he has money for bachelor party to contribute</strong>
Posted by kavecki[/QUOTE]


Yeah, that's lame.  I think it's okay if his friends are asking him for ideas to contribute but he shouldn't be paying for stuff.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

OH COMETHEFUCKON.  Deleting a post?  We were having a pretty cordial conversation here.  Now I just think you're acting like a twat bag.

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_no-honeymoon-but-the-groom-having-big-bachelor-party-angry-bride-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:26c2106e-d3f6-480b-a85c-bee0e1b10f70Post:d8a6d623-2f21-4858-8387-b675522dbcc2">>></a>:
[QUOTE] Ok.. Trying to really rein in from my frustration and pity party and not doing well. So having a decent wedding (all paid for by my mother with some contribution from myself). 

All the groom/his family was to contribute was the honeymoon. Now less than two months away and there suddenly isnt the disposable funds for the honeymoon, saving for a house. 

But my biggest frustration is 9 months ago after we got engaged the first thing he was excited about was a bachelor party, that was planned many months ago. (and the one issue me and my fiance had during our 2.5 years was him partying with his guys and other girls).

Now I am livid that the honeymoon is cancelled yet his big 3 day extravagent bachelor party (with strippers even though I detest the idea) is on and ready to go full swing.

How am I supposed to be happy and supportive of a big wild guys week when the wedding and honeymoon is the bottom of his priorites.

(by the way I am not having any sort of girl's night or bachelorette party)
Posted by kavecki[/QUOTE]

AdeleDazeem

Why the DD?  :-(

My husband and I split the cost of the honeymoon 50/50.  If he had money for a wild bachelor party and not his half the honeymoon check, I'd be pretty angry.

Talk to him.  Work on a new budget so he still gets his awesome party but you both get a honeymoon.  It's doesn't have to be expensive.

Smash Adams

Annnnnd Anna with the save!

[Deleted User]

Haha, ho-glitter. That one actually made me laugh out loud.

baystateapple

Man, the noobs are getting oversensitive.  This wasn't even bad.

J&K10910

You guys are bitches.  There's no need to be rude!

Lenore2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_no-honeymoon-but-the-groom-having-big-bachelor-party-angry-bride-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:26c2106e-d3f6-480b-a85c-bee0e1b10f70Post:7e23c9ff-c59d-4267-9bc9-2fa15eeac514">Re: >></a>:
[QUOTE]OH COMETHEFUCKON.  Deleting a post?  We were having a pretty cordial conversation here.  Now I just think you're acting like a twat bag.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Agreed. This is silly, silly, silly and not the way an adult should behave. If you post it, stand by it, change your mind and explain how you came to do that, tell everyone to go to heellll but please don't delete it, that's just poor form.

Starmusica

YAY Anna- I came in after the delete and I was a bit confused.

Well OP- had you not proved to be a child and deleted your post, I would have given you cordial advice.

However- are you kidding me? First off- you first call your fiance "the groom." THE groom? Not my groom, my fiance?

And honestly step back here. if you have always had arguments about his hard partying and he cares more about his bachelor party than your feelings- maybe that's something to consider before you get married?

Further- you are not ENTITLED to a honeymoon! It's not a given. You sound spoiled.