Gather round y’all. It’s story time.
For the sake of length I’ll summarize the morning leading up to the reception.
For hair and make-up my Dad’s GF (we’ll call her T from now on) was supposed to ave hers done in her room while me, the bms an my mom were in my room. Due to a bunch of circumstances that no one could control, we all ended up in the same room. You’d think that everyone would behave like adults..right? no. From the minute, T came in the room my mom was throwing fits, basically about her breathing the same air. If I was out of “sight” and T was out of sight for 5 seconds my mom came looking. It was absolutely crazy.
Once me and the BMs left the hotel room we decided that it would be best to shut down the bridal room to “decompress” from the morning.That worked...for a while. I had to have T come in to give her instructions on where to place certain items since there was a misunderstanding about where they were supposed to go. During that time, my mom shows up and starts knocking. We had T tell her that we needed 10 more minutes for pictures and then sent the McGowans out the side door. Well, Mom proceeds to yell (pretty much) “I AM THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE..I DON’T NEED YOU TO TELL ME ANYTHING” When she’s told that we needed 10 minutes.
She keeps knocking and knocking and knocking until she finally snuck in when the videographer left. It was seriously the most awkward thing ever. She brought in her random BF and he just stood. Then she just sat there and stared at me. I hinted at her to leave...but she wouldn’t take the hint. While she was in there I looked at her corsage, and it looked like poor quality, IMO. So I asked her if they all looked like that, she said they did...and I said...Oh...nice...er. So obviously I wasn’t happy. So finally she left, and from the looks of the pics on FB she stood in the lobby griping about who knows what. There was more griping and dirty looks during family pics when Chelsea called Dad and T to do a picture.
We finally got rid of them and I thought we were home free. Not quite.
When H and I sat down to eat, I could see/hear my mother griping about her corsage and her hair falling. Then the whole table comforted her “Oh No! It looks so cute!” I got word that Mom’s friends had gone to the planner about her chair at the ceremony (2nd row) and about how it was rude and the planner shouldn’t have let me seat her there.
So, a few minutes later I was up talking to the planner (about the candy bar..unrelated). When I was snagged by a few other people, and then I turn around and my Mom is standing there “YOU CAN TELL YOUR FLORIST THIS IS CRAP....AND my hair is falling”.
So I called her on her crap and asked her if she thought I did it on purpose, since she just spent a good chunk of time bitching about it to her table...oh and to tell her friends to keep their mouths shut and don’t speak to my vendors because they didn’t pay anyone. She called T a fatass and I told her I was done with the convo. She followed me to my table. Once everyone (Mom, Dad, Planner, H) was over there. I just said I wanted to go outside ALONE. Apparently the planner got between me and my mom and held the door shut after me and told my mom to respect my wishes and she said “I’LL TALK TO MY DAUGHTER WHENEVER THE EFF I WANT.’’
So the planner really had no choice but to let her come outside. My Dad called the security guard over and my MOH,the planner and the security guard told her to give me a minute...again. She wouldn’t listen to reason.
So, I ended up up the street in the alley behind the ballroom...crying with H shortly behind me.
Well, once the dust settled and I got my cry out. I got pissed. So I went up to the door where Mom was still yelling at the planner and got between her and the planner and said “You don’t talk to my planner like that. We’re going to go inside,I’ll have my make up redone, eat some cake, have some fun and I expect you all to put on your big girls panties and behave like adults” Then her and her sister tried to say something...and I said “NO. I’m going in. You’re behaving like adults. THE END.”
So I got my make up done and Mel brought me and my BMs tequila shots in the bathroom. That was awesome. 
During the cake cutting she was over at her table being consoled because, you know, her life is tough. She spent about 90% of the rest of the reception bitching about one thing or another.
Then the exit..T was handing out bubbles and my mom goes “OF COURSE, IT WOULD HAVE TO BE YOU THAT BROUGHT THE BUBBLES OVER HERE”.
She really had to be almost escorted out for our private last dance because she said “NO, I’m not going...” and Melody says “Ooops..yea...srry...everyone out!”
Then we went to the hotel. And it was over. THANK GOODNESS!