Hi! So, most women (myself included) have gone through a bad breakup at some point in our lives, or been in love with somone who was out of bounds, and it hurts and it's hard to get over. I can empathize.
I have a friend I've known for a couple years "Ess", and I guess she's had a major crush on this guy, "Jay," for years. About a year ago, they started a non-official but intimate relationship. Sometimes they would talk about getting married someday, or having a kid together, or how Ess would accept Jay's kid as her own b/c she loved him so much. Then, suddenly (in Ess's eyes, at least) Jay stops talking to her, says he wants to be friends but can't keep having sex w/ her and still really isn't ready for a real relationship. Ess is devastated and starts drinking herself to sleep every night.
Sorry to bore you with all the gory details (I'm trying to leave out as much as I can), but basically Ess loves Jay with all her heart and says she wants to marry him someday and can't imagine a life w/o him. He is the only thing she thinks about, she has no joy in life anymore, but she is unwilling to move on b/c he refuses to give her the "closure" she wants. This has been going on for months and months, and instead of watching her heal, I see her spiraling farther into her depression. Her friends try to talk to her, offer advice and tell her she doesn't need him, but it only frustrates her b/c she knows he's the "only one" for her. She talks to me for HOURS, but never gets anywhere, just keeps looping back and saying the same things.
I've asked her about seeing a therapist but she says it won't help her, she's basically too depressed to even try it. I know I'M not a therapist, and all I can do is listen to what she has to say, but I feel so helpless b/c I want her to be happy.
I don't believe she is suicidal--yet. But it scares me that, as time passes, she has made no improvement. I'd like to think that, a year from now, she'll be able to love herself and live a happy, productive life. But it will be a long, hard road for her before she reaches that point.
CN: Friend is severely depressed over a guy she loves, I'm as supportive as I can be but there's nothing I can do to help her! Has anyone had a friend battling depression that they wished they could help? I know it's not my "job" to "fix" her, but she's my friend and it's hard to see her in so much pain all the time.
Just needed to vent, thanks.