NWR Not sure why I feel so frustrated!

tesskerr

A workmate of mine is having her babyshower in a couple of weeks and I have already bought her some super cute baby outfits, over the door diaper dispenser and a couple of little things. I only spent about $50.

Today at work, the mom to be and a close workmate went to the bag shop to pick out a big expensive mommy bag for her, and are now asking us to all put in $20 for it. With out asking if any of us wanted to even put in/wanted to buy her a bag/hadn't already bought anything for the baby shower.  If I don't put in, that will mean they are out of pocket.

I wish I had the guts to explain how rude that is. 

Should I just put in, and give her my gifts at the showerl? Give her some of the gifts, and keep some for another mom to be? Just put in $20 and give her nothing else?

I don't mind spending $70, or $100 or $200. Just feel like being a bitch back really...

anna.oskar

i have been in a similar situation before.

When someone finally came around asking for "my share" towards the gift, i politely informed them that i would not be contributing towards their gift as I had already purchased one of my own before i knew they were doing a group gift.

The person collecting money was quite irritated, but who cares?  Bottom line, you were invited to a shower, you purchased a gift, you will deliver gift to recipient. That sounds like you're doing everything right.

Good Luck!

kimheartsscott

I agree with anna, whose post I totally can see.

npasquale16

Anna's right.

I have stopped contributing to the general work "pool" on gifts because I find it annoying and way too expensive (granted I work in a school, so even a small staff is between 40-60 people).  Last year, there were about 5  babies born and everyone wanted a contribution for each, in addition to the weddings, funerals, etc that go on in a regular year. Now, I opt out and buy a gift only if I'm invited to the shower or really like the person and want to give them a gift.  Otherwise, being forced to gift makes me stabby. 

vegasgroom

Does the "are now asking" include the mom to be or just the close friend?  If it's the mom to be asking for money in addition to the baby shower, that would get me pretty pissed off and I'd probably just give her the $20 and decline the shower.  If it's just her friend doing it, then I'd go with Anna's option.

jenellsrevenge

I completely agree with Anna. If they wanted to do a group gift then they shoul dhvae planned this wellin advance before anyone had a chance to go out and buy one. Their lack of planning should not mean that more money has to come out of your pocket. One should never assume that a person is going to contribute.

betrothed123

I also ditto Anna.  They should have asked you before buying the bag if you were willing to contribute.  Since they didn't it's not your fault that they'll be out if you don't contribute.

However, I'm also with VG in that if the mom is involved in asking you for money I'd give her the $20 and keep the rest of the stuff for the next mom to be that you know.

TheCranberry

I find it so weird when people just assume that everyone wants to contribute and then puts out money before asking people.  The PP's are right, just tell them you bought a gift already and don't contribute to this one.  If the mother to be is part of asking for the price of the gift to be split, that is incredibly rude.

[Deleted User]

Do you work in my office? They are all about the "office gift contributions." I hate it.