Need to vent a bit...

savxcore1

Hi there everyone! let me tell you a little story.

I proposed last July to my FI. We didn't officially tell my family until May of this year. I have planned this wedding three times over.

First, it was a simple autumn ceremony in a field we own with less than 45 people. Live band. Simple food, attire, everything.

Then, it was a three day event in Asheville. with about 100 guests. Same simple feel.

Some how, I got on this Greek kick... don't know where the hell that came from.

I've been through 4 color schemes, 3 choices for ministers, 4 potential caterers, gone from 1 to 5 flower girls. 

Now, I've compromised on seriously every element of this wedding. My dress. BM's dresses. Guest list. Cake. I try to in an effort to save my parent's some money.(originally the budget was under 4K, now its 9k) But my mother keeps saying, "Its your wedding, we can have whatever you want." Then turns around and says everything is getting expensive(and really, I am only showing her dirt cheap options. $350 for videography is super cheap!) and that she's going to borrow against her 401k or take out a loan! WTF She has insisted that we not pay for anything, but then proceeds to make me feel horrible. 

Also, FI is atheist. My family's baptist. I'm religiously ambiguous. Mom wants our minister cousin to perform the ceremony... I want a non denominational lady officiating... but whatever. its free.

Now, this is what we've got. A May plantation wedding, DJ, possibly 4 flower girls, 65 guests and goddamnit I will serve Mediterranean food and people will love it. 

savxcore1

I do feel horrible for her to even suggest dipping into her future funds. Fi is paying the venue without her consent so that's $4500 that she doesn't have to worry about it. 

My aunt had 5 flower girls... I just want one really, my daughter. But idk... its ridiculous.

As for the food, its not overly Mediterranean I think. We're having chicken and lamb, roasted veggies, pasta salad, fruit and cheese and pita. Does that sound appealing? 

savxcore1

Well, my mom's reasoning on the FGs: my child and our cousin are both 3. They aren't going to stand still for any length of time. So, she basically wants two older girls up front so the pictures look nice. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I think I'm going to put my foot down on that. 

The only vegetarians in my or my FI's family are/were me and my FI. So I don't forsee that being an issue but we do need that option. Thanks for reminding me

Here's a question: lighted balloon release. yes or no.

We aren't allowed to do floating lanterns.

PrincessJas

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-to-vent-a-bit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c264612-d54c-4aca-9848-3d01d19bee78Post:b884ab11-9786-43fa-a2e9-1e14d98946ce">Re: Need to vent a bit...</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, my mom's reasoning on the FGs: my child and our cousin are both 3. They aren't going to stand still for any length of time. So, she basically wants two older girls up front so the pictures look nice. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I think I'm going to put my foot down on that.  The only vegetarians in my or my FI's family are/were me and my FI. So I don't forsee that being an issue but we do need that option. Thanks for reminding me :) Here's a question: <strong>lighted balloon release. yes or no</strong>. We aren't allowed to do floating lanterns.
Posted by savxcore1[/QUOTE]

<div>No...they go everywhere, pop, and litter plastic all over the place.  Pretty idea, but you really can't clean up after it.</div>

savxcore1

Yeah, I don't think Church Hill would appreciate latex and LEDs all over their fair town. 

lovelybride614

2 flowers girls max in my honest opinion. The little ones are adorable in pics even if they sit down during the ceremony. Why don't you try to talk to her calmly to figure out what she can pay and what is comfortable to her? You sound like a caring daughter/bride and she sounds like a great mom. Maybe there's just miscommunication. Maybe she feels unappreciated or didn't realize how much things actually cost or why you need them. Try for a heart to heart and see what happens. GOOD LUCK. I know the financials can be stressful.

JanoBean75

Your caterer should be able to make the food appeal to most. Our wedding was at a Greek restaurant (H is half-Greek; he, his dad, and one other guest were the only Greeks there) and everyone loved the food they had. We had a ton of appetizers and desserts that were very Greek, but the entrees were either chicken, crab cakes, or lamb.

Now I want Greek food.