"Your" Dress

KRP313

So I am wondering how many brides to be or brides would be offended if someone very close to you chose to wear "your" exact same gown on their wedding day?   So close to you, that you both share the same dad....yes, sisters.  Half sisters to be exact.  Me personally, I would be offended.  I am not sure why anyone would want to or not feel any sort of embarrassment for theirl lack of originality. 

My cousin was married 5 years ago and her half sister chose the same exact wedding gown.  The same gown being worn in the photo with their dad on the mantle in the dad and step mom's house.  So what now, they are going to have the ame wedding photos framed side by side?  I see it as poor taste.  My cousin and I are like sisters and I didn't even dare try on any dresses even similar.  I want my own look.  Also, it is a very memorable dress.  It has a dramatic skirt with an "organza" featherlike ruffles. 

Kinda weird to me....

[Deleted User]

Years later? I wouldn't care (especially if I'm the one who wore it first).

Now, if a family member chose my dress and got married around the same time as me, and I'd already bought it, then yeah, I'd be annoyed.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Within months, weeks or even a year of the wedding - yeah, I'd be upset.

Five years?  FFS.  No.

ETA - I think five years post-wedding is a bit much to still be all ownership-y about your wedding.  Get over it.

AdeleDazeem

I would only care if she looked better than me in the dress.  :-)

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_your-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:38d9025e-f6c1-4380-afab-68e8d132897bPost:fda7cbb6-cbeb-44c5-a119-cc56df79d705">Re: "Your" Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]Years later? I wouldn't care (especially if I'm the one who wore it first). Now, if a family member chose my dress and got married around the same time as me, and I'd already bought it, then yeah, I'd be annoyed.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Exactly this.

Especially if I bought my dress first but they got married first.

KateJ10

I don't think I would care too much if it was a 5 year difference- most people would not remember the other brides dress with that kind of time gap.

LP11509

Agreed that after 5 years, it's really NBD.  A few weeks/months?  Yeah I'd be a bit put off, but what can you really do about it?

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_your-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:38d9025e-f6c1-4380-afab-68e8d132897bPost:897b5c97-a183-499c-b7ac-21f6026da250">Re: "Your" Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]I would only care if she looked better than me in the dress.  :-)
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

hahah.. this.

But seriously, it's been 5 years. I've been to so many weddings in the last 5 years that it's highly unlikely I'd recognize the dress. And ditto PPs, I find it doubtful that it's the exact same designer/style.

Bkseller13

Hell, I'd let my sister (if I had one) wear my dress.  Then, all that's left is the cost of alterations.  Saves money and it's not like I'm going to wear it again.

peekaboo2011

Yes, it's "your" dress, but FFS, it's JUST a dress.

And, based on different body types and just the general way that people are, the same dress can look completely different on different people.

dmiller9274

juju?

SarahPLiz

If she bought it from me, I wouldn't be pissed at all. Hell, right now I WISH someone I knew wanted to wear my wedding gown. I don't need it in my closet. 

angelstar975

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_your-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:38d9025e-f6c1-4380-afab-68e8d132897bPost:efcad37f-c771-43bb-9d18-1eaa926877a9">Re: "Your" Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]Are the same dresses available for five years??  Don't styles change in that amount of time?  If not, then, holy crap those designers are sure getting a bang for their buck.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

One of the dresses I was interested in came out in 2008, I think, and is still being made because it's still really popular.

dumdumfroggie

5 years later?

Yeah, I'd get over it.

You'll notice it's the same dress, but I would highly doubt many others would notice or care.

KRP313

Actually, even 5 years later, the dress is still very popular.  Now, I am sure her sister did not pay any where near what the first sister did.  I am not saying throw a temper tantrum and make the other sister return it.  I was simply asking if anyone would be offended.  I think it is in poor taste.  It is your sister!  What about photos in the house....they are in the same dress. ha!  I guess I am just original and would cringe at the thought of wearing a gown I knew someone else wore.

pirategal03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_your-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:38d9025e-f6c1-4380-afab-68e8d132897bPost:0c7de9c5-8021-44c6-a4b7-dbbe086748d5">Re: "Your" Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually, even 5 years later, the dress is still very popular.  Now, I am sure her sister did not pay any where near what the first sister did.  I am not saying throw a temper tantrum and make the other sister return it.  I was simply asking if anyone would be offended.  I think it is in poor taste.  It is your sister!  What about photos in the house....they are in the same dress. ha! <strong> I guess I am just original and would cringe at the thought of wearing a gown I knew someone else wore.</strong>
Posted by KRP313[/QUOTE]

Was your dress custom?

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_your-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:38d9025e-f6c1-4380-afab-68e8d132897bPost:0c7de9c5-8021-44c6-a4b7-dbbe086748d5">Re: "Your" Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually, even 5 years later, the dress is still very popular.  Now, I am sure her sister did not pay any where near what the first sister did.  I am not saying throw a temper tantrum and make the other sister return it.  I was simply asking if anyone would be offended.  I think it is in poor taste.  It is your sister!  What about photos in the house....they are in the same dress. ha!  <strong>I guess I am just original and would cringe at the thought of wearing a gown I knew someone else wore.</strong>
Posted by KRP313[/QUOTE]

<div>Unless your dress was custom made, it's unlikely that no one else has ever worn it.</div><div>
</div><div>My dress is from DB and I'm sure hundreds, if not thousands, of brides have worn it.  It's the accessories and yourself that make it special.</div>

KRP313

I am not ignorant to think that no one will ever wear the dress I chose, but it will be custom to me.  No one else that I know as in friend, SISTER, cousin, etc. will have worn my dress.  ha!  It is her sister....not just a total stranger. ha!

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_your-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:38d9025e-f6c1-4380-afab-68e8d132897bPost:a6fa40cc-153c-44e8-8e07-e5c345618fde">Re: "Your" Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]I am not ignorant to think that no one will ever wear the dress I chose, but it will be custom to me.  No one else that I know as in friend, SISTER, cousin, etc. will have worn my dress.  ha!  It is her sister....not just a total stranger. ha!
Posted by KRP313[/QUOTE]

You're missing the point though. Yes, it may be the same dress, but the two of them won't look exactly alike in the dress.  It's kind of like when People does the "Who wore it best?" feature.  Two people in the same dress will never look exactly alike.  Even if they're identical twins.

KRP313

Yes, she actually does care and that is why I decided to post to check to see what others thought. Personally, I would never do that to a friend or family member but maybe it is not the dress that is the huge deal but the fact that her sister did this to her. It wasn't even like she called to explain the situation.

andrea2473

No.  I actually offered to let my sister wear my dress because she doesn't want to buy one.  It's not her style so she declined. 

KRP313

I thought maybe she didn't realize it either but she admitted that she knew. I guess it is not as big of a deal if she would have offered the dress to her sister. Maybe we just come from a family of overreactors! Haha!

livyr

Looking at it from the other side, if I was the sister getting married second, I don't think I would wear the same dress even if I loved it! I think if I were the first bride I would be a little irked, but assume that people would either not recognize the dress or see it as an ettiquette breach on the second bride's part.

jujub423

If it's been 5 years and she hadn't even seen the dress since the wedding I personally would be over it at this point.

I have a similar situation- most of the girls on this board have heard plenty about it LOL.  I got engaged May 2011, set the date for June 22 2012, bought my dress a month later.  My cousin got engaged in November 2011, she came over to show me her ring and I showed her my dress (December).  A month later, I found out she bought the exact same dress as me.  And had decided to get married on June 2, 2012.  We are the same height, long curly brown hair, our mother's were sisters so obviously we resemble one another.  I was livid, sick to my stomach, depressed, you name it. 

However, her wedding was Saturday, and while I couldn't bring myself to go to the ceremony (my FI obviously couldn't go either), I went to the reception.  i was still happy for her, thought she looked gorgeous, and it even made me more excited to wear it in a few weeks!  

So yeah, I think 5 years later is NBD. 

Annas2013

Not really.  The same dress can look completely different on two different people.  And even more so if they style and accessorize differently.  If it was still the same year?  I'd be a little bit put off.  After 5 years?  Whatever.  No one will even notice other than the immediate family.  

I would love to know what style of dress is still made 5 years later.  Just saying.  I had a hard enough time finding a dress that was 2 years old since it was no longer in production.

Lenore2010

My neice is getting married at our place New Year's Eve. She is much thinner than me, but busty and really liked my dress. She is going after one that looks as much like it as possible. I am flattered.

Honestly, I don't care about things like that. I never cared if I showed up to a party wearing the same thing as someone else, either. Ironically, if I had something to do over for the wedding I would have gotten the Maggie Sottero I wanted, and my neice hates all things Maggie Sottero