Head Tables With Wedding Party and No S/O...Just Say No.

mgietler76

I've heard of the Bride and Groom having a separate dinner before the reception but that was during the cocktail hour so they could have their first meal together. If I went to a wedding where this happened I would definitely have left before dinner.

mgietler76

So what did the guests do? Just stand outside the until the door were opened? I would have left, that is the tackiest thing I have ever heard. I would also NOT be giving the bride and groom a gift after treating their guests this way!

MeaghanandMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_head-tables-wedding-party-sojust-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3caad8bf-75db-4e85-bcf6-2e5f25e99448Post:2936958f-ec75-46d0-8178-21a9f9d8bab3">Re: Head Tables With Wedding Party and No S/O...Just Say No.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Head Tables With Wedding Party and No S/O...Just Say No. : I want a secret keg....but it will be placed discretly under my sweetheart table. I will be able to chug beer all night via a hose.  I'm klassy like that.
Posted by aprovencher21[/QUOTE]


Good to know.



oh, btw, I am crashing your wedding ;)

crys-crys

We are doing a sweetheart table too, though I actually didn't want it. I wanted to sit at a regular table with both sets of parents but FI wanted a sweetheart table and he wanted the groomsman to sit at one table with their SO's and bridesmaids to sit at another table with their SO's. The worked perfectly for him because all his groomsman are cousins. My bridesmaids don't all know eachother and would fit in better at other tables. In the end, I agreed to the sweetheart as long as he agreed the wedding party could be spread out to different tables.

eastunder1

i think head tables are so outdated.  Outside of the bride and groom, no one cares about the wedding party.  So in kind, no one wants to watch them eat.  And no one wants to be sitting up there to begin with.  Long one sided tables are conversation killers.  Half the time you don't know the person next to you.  You just sit there.  Waiting for the appropriate amount of time to pass so you can leave and go pull up a chair with people you actuallly want to sit with.  The whole thing is just...ugggh. 

JennaV26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_head-tables-wedding-party-sojust-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3caad8bf-75db-4e85-bcf6-2e5f25e99448Post:2bdf9180-68dd-42f8-86cb-70f1c64111bf">Re: Head Tables With Wedding Party and No S/O...Just Say No.</a>:
[QUOTE]My friend once went to a wedding where she and her hubby were seated apart. The bride and groom said it was too "middle class" to seat spouses together. True story.
Posted by LuluP82[/QUOTE]

You have got to be kidding me. These people are obviously pretending to have more money than they do.

I hate head tables too. I also hate sweetheart tables because they are just so awkward.
 
I also hate when couples try to make their seating arrangements based on really old ties, i.e. "I'll seat Jenna and her DH with all these girls she used to go to HS with, I'm sure they'll have so much to catch up on." Um, no we don't. I would have rather you sat us with my family or people I actually still <em>know. </em>But that's a whole other post, and I'm sure many people will disagree with me.

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_head-tables-wedding-party-sojust-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3caad8bf-75db-4e85-bcf6-2e5f25e99448Post:1a561d34-11a3-4ce7-969d-6c9ae8bba6de">Re: Head Tables With Wedding Party and No S/O...Just Say No.</a>:
[QUOTE]Too 'middle class'?  WTH does that even mean?  Last time I checked, middle class does not = rude.
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

I have read that (very) old etiquette was that husbands and wives were always seated separately at upper class parties.  The thought being that you are always with your spouse and should spend the party mingling with others instead.

There are, I suppose, people who still believe this:
<a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/01/AR2009120104533.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/01/AR2009120104533.html</a>

moosebaby2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_head-tables-wedding-party-sojust-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3caad8bf-75db-4e85-bcf6-2e5f25e99448Post:f550b51d-31c4-4c5f-9c2b-147f25e8bcb3">Re: Head Tables With Wedding Party and No S/O...Just Say No.</a>:
[QUOTE]So what did the guests do? Just stand outside the until the door were opened? I would have left, that is the tackiest thing I have ever heard. I would also NOT be giving the bride and groom a gift after treating their guests this way!
Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]

Yup.  There was even a security guard.  I'm pretty sure most of the guests were unaware of what was going on, though.  They didn't exactly publicize their private dinner.  FWIW the rest of the reception was pretty fun.

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_head-tables-wedding-party-sojust-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3caad8bf-75db-4e85-bcf6-2e5f25e99448Post:d2a70e59-5ddd-42be-a0c4-e5fbaea4a3cc">Re: Head Tables With Wedding Party and No S/O...Just Say No.</a>:
[QUOTE]i think head tables are so outdated.  Outside of the bride and groom, no one cares about the wedding party.  So in kind, no one wants to watch them eat.  And no one wants to be sitting up there to begin with.  Long one sided tables are conversation killers.  Half the time you don't know the person next to you.  You just sit there.  Waiting for the appropriate amount of time to pass so you can leave and go pull up a chair with people you actuallly want to sit with.  The whole thing is just...ugggh. 
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

Going off of this, regardless of where the WP's SOs are sitting, if you're not ZOMG besties with the rest of the WP, it's no fun to sit at a head table with them either. Especially given that the B&G, who are the common denominator for all WP members, will probably spend all of 10 minutes sitting at the head table to eat with you. I just don't see the point of making both the WP <em>and </em>their SOs uncomfortable.

*BeachBride0410*

We had a head table because DH didn't want to do a sweetheart, I said we are not separating S/O's..for this very reason.

We were able to have a U shaped big head table that sat all 13 of us

[Deleted User]

I completely agree with the head table being a bad idea. I was a BM in my sister's wedding along with our younger sister, Megan. We stood beside each other at the altar, and ate in the same order. So I sat between the MOH and my younger sister.
 
The ONLY reason I was able to get through dinner without my FI (who was sat at the table with my DAD's family, poor guy...) was because I had my sister to talk to. Poor FI though, had to make convo with my Aunt, Uncle, and Grandma. LOL Not that it was a HORRIBLE thing, but he'd much rather have sat with me.

Not only that-- but the head table was raised above the other tables...and we were served first. I felt so awkward!! I felt like apologizing to the rest of the guests because I was no better than them...!! It was just wrong in so many ways. I felt like I was being displayed.

ehathewa

I went to a wedding where the bride and groom ate in a separate room.  That was weird. 

I'm still having a head table...  It is the one thing that I actually envisioned (complete with clinking glasses for a kiss) at my wedding as a little girl.  There are only a few WP members who have S/Os and they will be seated next to the head table with friends. 

SarahSmile23

well, the wedding party doesn't get to sit with their dates during the ceremony, either. so it's not just 35 mins. it's pre-ceremony, ceremony, cocktail hour during pics, and then dinner. just wanted to point that out!

aprovencher21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_head-tables-wedding-party-sojust-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3caad8bf-75db-4e85-bcf6-2e5f25e99448Post:3e7e1756-946c-4516-a8c2-0b1ae8b0b226">Re: Head Tables With Wedding Party and No S/O...Just Say No.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Head Tables With Wedding Party and No S/O...Just Say No. : Good to know. oh, btw, I am crashing your wedding ;)
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

YAY!  I think there's a few of you doing that.  You should carpool....pick some unlucky soul to be DD.

sobieralskia

Point taken. Leaning toward sweetheart table.