How much involvement did/do you have in the rehearsal dinner?

suze423

Mainly a question to those not hosting their own but all comments are welcome.

My FMIL is insistent upon doing this all herself and feels the RD is a gift to me and FI.  She hasn't ask us for input on anything (and has ignored any that I've given her).  She hasn't been involved in the wedding planning at all (her choice) so she doesn't really know much of anything that's going on.  Yeah, she's paying so I can't really dictate what she does, but she didn't even want to include everyone involved in the ceremony!  Said "I was just thinking and hoping that this would be a more intimate evening for family and immediate wedding party" (immediate wedding party is all family) and got all in a huff about the extra money she would have to spend when I told her I thought we should include our officiant and two friends who are doing readings at the ceremony.

She drives me bonkers!

SarahPLiz

I'm hosting my own. Its easier that way. 

zippityb

I gave a list of people to be invited, and we went and tried the food at the place that was catering. I was actually thrilled that it was something that I didn't have to plan at all.

maratea

MIL hosted our rehearsal dinner (she insisted on calling it the groom's dinner, barf). The only part I had in it was getting a list of names of people who should be invited.
We invited our officiant and his wife. And grandparents. And MIL invited a couple they are friends with (just for fun, I guess?). I never understood why she invited a random couple, that H and I don't really know. Oh well. She was paying for the food and booze, so I didn't care.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

My future-in-laws are hosting our RD, and I let them handle it.  Shiit, I've got enough on my plate with wedding plans.  The caterer did give my FILs a menu to choose from and they let Ben and I pick what they wanted, but, they are taking care of everything else.  I think it's awesome.

Celles

... I swear I posted in this thread, but now I can't find it.  =\

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Oh, also - everyone involved in the wedding should definitely be invited.

My FILs are inviting everyone who has a role in the wedding.  And all the parent's siblings...

erins87

FI's parents will be hosting but they will not be back in the country until a week before the wedding so I will take care of the planning portion.

dmiller9274

You are only 4 days from your wedding, and just now deciding on who to invite to the RD?

MISSCOURTNEY20

My mom is hosting the RD. (FH has no family) It will be in the restaurant if the hotel our that wedding is going to be. Eveyone involved in the wedding will be there and even the officiant. She was my Sunday School tecaher when I was little and has pretty much watched me grow up.

I would say you all should just pay for the extras too. You all are too close to the end to let anything ruffle any feathers.

suze423

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_much-involvement-diddo-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3d95bfaf-d1c6-4642-afc5-f656a612cb7fPost:3ad95da3-2e02-45c5-bcaa-8606f90ae582">Re: How much involvement did/do you have in the rehearsal dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]You are only 4 days from your wedding, and just now deciding on who to invite to the RD?
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]
No, I told FMIL who I wanted there a month ago.  She has been putting it off the entire time.

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_much-involvement-diddo-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3d95bfaf-d1c6-4642-afc5-f656a612cb7fPost:3ad95da3-2e02-45c5-bcaa-8606f90ae582">Re: How much involvement did/do you have in the rehearsal dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]You are only 4 days from your wedding, and just now deciding on who to invite to the RD?
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>good catch Dmill. holy CRAP.</div>

jennylove810

I had zero involvement - thank God.  I had enough to worry about, it was nice to be told to just show up at a certain restaurant!

jennylove810

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_much-involvement-diddo-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3d95bfaf-d1c6-4642-afc5-f656a612cb7fPost:ab5ba250-9ac2-4806-a339-186115444512">Re: How much involvement did/do you have in the rehearsal dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How much involvement did/do you have in the rehearsal dinner? : No, I told FMIL who I wanted there a month ago.  She has been putting it off the entire time.
Posted by suze423[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't worry about it.  She's hosting and planning, so let her deal with it.  Since your involvement is limited, it won't reflect badly on you if it doesn't go smoothly, but chances are it will.  These things tend to come together, even if it is at the last minute.

mrscarter052011

We're planning and paying for the RD ourselves.  There was a bit of debate over who would pay b/c my parents offered but when I added more to the BP my mom said that is going to increase RD so we just said that we would take care of it to avoid any more discussion. Then FFIL GF brought up that the Groom's family is supposed to pay.  We quickly shot her down on that because we know that FFIL is not obligated to this. 

We're having a simple catered BBQ at our house after the rehearsal. 

JennaV26

I actually ended up being a lot more involved than I expected to be, this was bittersweet. My ILs hosted it but they set up a tasting for DH and I so we could pick the food. I also went with MIL to the florist to pick out the flowers and to meet with the manager (twice) to discuss seating arrangements.

I liked being able to do the tasting (who doesn't like free food) but I was already so busy with planning the actual wedding and getting ready to move that adding the extra meetings only added stress. I suppose I should be thankful I was involved, and I am, but it was just a lot happening all at once.

I also provided them a list of people we wanted to invite such as the WP, all family and OOT guests who had thrown showers, etc.

Kate504

I'm going to have to do it myself. My FMIL are from OOT of town and want me to do it all myself. My FI will help as much as he can, but he live OOT too. My FIL have pretty much told me that i was doing it and they would give me money for it.