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"Caught by the In-Laws"

Did anyone read that article on The Nest about couples caught "in the act" by their parents or in-laws? It's pretty hard to embarrass me, but a couple of those stories would definitely have me blushing.  If you have read it, the one about the guy giving his wife a naked back massage was my favorite, mainly for the mental image.

DH and I have never been caught in the act, but my stepdad did make an embarrassing comment when we first started dating. I was working for DH and joked about how I didn't have to worry about getting yelled at or fired, so stepdad said, "Well that's what happens when you're sleeping with the boss!" I thought my mom would die, she likes to think of her kids as sweet and innocent.

My dad, that's a different story. He would probably give DH tips right then and there if he walked in on us.

Ha, sorry if that's TMI. I just got a kick out of the article.
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Re: "Caught by the In-Laws"

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    When J and I went on our first vacation trip together, we went to Moab Utah to ride dirt bikes (him) and ATVs (me). First day there/first day out, I wrecked the ATV by flipping it on its side and getting my ankle pinned, hitting my ribs on the edge of a long flat rock, and having my helmet bounce off the rock twice.
    End result:  I was incredibly sore from my toes to my neck (no headache, though) and I had a couple of broken ribs.
    I said to my parents when we told them about it that I'd said to J, "you broke it, you bought it!"

    Oddly, they didn't think it was as funny as I did.
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    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
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    I would be MORTIFIED. I'm easily embarrassed. A few years ago, my FI was medically discharged from the army when we expected him to be deployed. Since it was expected, he lived with his mom for a couple months. I remember we installed a lock on the door and he claimed he didn't want the dog to get in. Her dog was a meek cocker spaniel, definitely lacking opposable thumbs. Many snide remarks and jokes ensued.
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    I may have told this story here before, but when H and I were in HS his mom walked in on me performing a "windy occupation" on him.  She stood there for a few seconds just staring, completely silent then said "I thought the cat wanted to get in," and walked out.  DH couldn't figure out why I refused to finish.  20 minutes later she called us down for dinner and I pretended I wasn't hungry.

    I still have a hard time looking her in the eye.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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    MIAF--the door to my room at my mom's doesn't have a lock, but it's on the other end of the house but right next to the garage. In the morning, if we're still in bed, my mom will start shouting, "I'm going to the garage!...I'm in the kitchen!....I'm about at the garage door!" We're always either still asleep or dying laughing because she's such a weirdo.
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    Nope, never happened to me.  At this point, after 8 years together, and with the wedding exactly 3 months away, I'd be embarrassed about someone seeing me naked, but not so much about the sex.

    FI's grandmother has a loose tongue, to say the least.  One time I went to this Polish deli in my neighborhood, and I bought some Polish sausages to put on the grill for dinner (you can see where this is going).  They were huge, like 12 inches long, and she made a comment that it's what grandpa used to look like.  GROSS!!!!!

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    I would have curled up and died, Betrothed!  Wow.
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    I can honestly say that was the most embarrassing moment of my life, LesPaul.  Thank god MIL never said a word about it again.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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    Se, that's funny! At least she's cautious!

    These stories are cracking me up.
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    Ha, Iharri! That sounds like my grandpa, he is the king of inappropriate jokes.

    And betrothed, I'd never be able to look at my MIL again. The night before our wedding DH's sister gave me a bunch of lingerie and VS underwear. One of them said Action! on the butt and she said, "You better wear these to bed tomorrow night!" and her mom, my MIL, turned beet red. I thought it was hilarious.
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    O.M.G. B, yes, indeedy, I think that might have killed me right then and there.  And I'm fairly certain it would've put my mom into an early grave.
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    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_caught-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a3b8edf-9feb-48c0-8157-384d3b9c2c3bPost:ea805ca3-1658-49c3-9b2d-623951663d37">Re: "Caught by the In-Laws"</a>:
    [QUOTE]Se, that's funny! At least she's cautious! These stories are cracking me up.
    Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

    Oh yeah, she's cautious. One time DH left a pair of boxers in the bed (just by accident, not because we were doing anything...naughty) and she freaked. Now, she makes me look through the bed like 5 times before we leave. She's weird about that stuff, but then 10 minutes later she'll be making sex jokes. I guess she just doesn't like the thought of her little girl getting it on, yet she's the first to buy me lingerie. Go figure.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_caught-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a3b8edf-9feb-48c0-8157-384d3b9c2c3bPost:83134707-ddcd-48cb-bc0f-4d5f836b948b">Re: "Caught by the In-Laws"</a>:
    [QUOTE]O.M.G. B, yes, indeedy, I think that might have killed me right then and there.  And I'm fairly certain it would've put my mom into an early grave.
    Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

    LOL!  By that time she had already sat H down and told him that if we couldn't have quiet sex she didnt' want us having it in her house <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" />

    I'm still shocked that she's always liked me.  I was like the harlot that was corrupting her innocent little boy.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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    The first time I went to visit FI during a summer internship, I was staying with him in his efficiency apartment. The FIL's weren't very thrilled. We went to his parents to visit and the whole way to dinner, FBIL and his buddy talked about what we should name our first kid and implied other related things. I wanted to crawl under my seat...esp when his father said "Shut up or I swear I will turn this car around." (FYI FBIL was 20 a the time). Now I think its funny but it was the longest car ride of my life at the time.


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    Well, we aren't even allowed to nap in the same room at my mom's house, so that's a negative. We always stay in a hotel, even if she has room.

    My dad sleeps like a rock, so no.

    Both of FI's parents' guest rooms are across the house from their own. Smart people! 

    I guess we are just lucky. My mother likes to ignore it, and no one else cares one way or another. 
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    Never got caught thank goodness, but I have had some akwardness.
    Like on vacation when Dh's mother, sister and aunt started talking about us trying to have a kid. They started asking what positions we had been using, what my cervical mucous was doing (tmi sorry) and whether or not I was O'ing during sex. I blushed bright red and ran out of the room and came back an hour later when they were on another subject.

    For my bachelorette party my sil and I agreed that for 24 hours I wasn't marrying her brother and I didn't know her husband.
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    edited July 2010
    BF's dad is pretty religious and didn't really like us even laying down together. He always said if we wanted to "do anything," it would not be under his roof.

    To steal from Bethrothed, he did walk in on me giving a "manual occupation" to BF. That was pretty damn embarrassing. And when BF and I took our first trip together, he pulled BF aside and said, "Don't think I don't know what you're going to be doing. You're not going to play chess, right?"
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    Oh, but I have kinda done the walk of shame through my first love/best friend/ex-bf's house. It was 5:30am and his mom was having a cup of coffee. She hadn't seen me get there at 2am, but she did see me leave. 

    She hadn't seen me in about 3 years, so she just got up and hugged me and said that it was nice to see me again. My friend is pretty dark, and he was blushing. The kicker was that nothing really happened except talking and sleep, not even kissing, because I was seeing someone else at the time. Her upstairs neighbor saw me leave and told everyone around town that he had a girlfriend that looked just like me. HA!
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    Sarah--the frist time DH and I slept over at my mom's she was going to make DH sleep on the couch. Then she decided against it because she knew he would just come to the bed after she went to sleep, so instead she said "Just tell your grandparents H was on the couch."

    Katie--yeah, no way would I be discussing that studd with H's family! Nor would I even dare to ask questions like that.
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    We will never have such stories, but that's because we are extra extra cautious about anything to do with sex or cohabiting around his family. Yeah... it would be bad. They are uber fundamentalist in their religion. Example, we live in a college town. I rent an awesome house and he rents a cheap crappy apartment, because he spends most of his time over here. Because of the college lease cycles, his lease runs out in August. So, he's moving in here. My parents know, his won't ever. They would flip their poop, and it would be decades of recrimination and drama. 

    However, he's agree that if she wants to, my mom with move in with us if my father passes first (my father will move in with my brother, if he wants to. It's always been my brother and I's pact.). So, between any possible children and my mom, we have plenty of opportunities to get walked in on the the future!
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    These stories are killing me :).

    Once FI moved out here, we started spending Christmas with his fam.  We live together in a one bedroom apt., so his parents just let us share a room at their house.  I almost wish they would separate us because I'm deathly afraid that if I make a sound, they'll think we're up to something.  They always give us awkward looks and make comments about his younger sisters being across the hall from us. 

    THis year, they finished their basement and it has a really nice guest bedroom.  FMIL was like "We'll put you guys down here, so you have your privacy." I told FI we wouldn't be having any sex for at least a month ;)

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    I also forgot that BF's grandparents lived right upstairs, and that he had quite a squeaky bed. I would always panic that his grandparents would come down and demand what all the noise was.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_caught-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a3b8edf-9feb-48c0-8157-384d3b9c2c3bPost:b776a37f-f104-4926-b019-e44649af43e7">Re: "Caught by the In-Laws"</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh, but I have kinda done the walk of shame through my first love/best friend/ex-bf's house. It was 5:30am and his mom was having a cup of coffee. She hadn't seen me get there at 2am, but she did see me leave.  She hadn't seen me in about 3 years, so she just got up and hugged me and said that it was nice to see me again. My friend is pretty dark, and he was blushing. The kicker was that nothing really happened except talking and sleep, not even kissing, because I was seeing someone else at the time. Her upstairs neighbor saw me leave and told everyone around town that he had a girlfriend that looked just like me. HA!
    Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

    I had this with one of my ex's too. That day we had gone to a carnival then went out to a bar and I was beyond tipsy. We went back to watch a movie at his house fully intending to take me home around 1am (I was 20 so no curfew or anything, nm the drinking age...). We both ended up passing out on separate couches and woke up when his mom was cooking breakfast around 10am. I was definitely like ..."Hi Mrs. M, nice to meet you, I think I'll be going now..." as we slunk out of the house.
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    When I was younger, I was at my grandparents' in Virginia for my Aunt D's wedding. 

    I was sitting with my aunt as she got ready for her wedding, and noticed that my grandmother kept getting all flustered everytime my soon-to-be Uncle S walked by. Eventually the story was told that Grandma had walked in on D&S in the shower that morning. They initially tried to pass it off as a time saving strategy, since there were about 20 people and only on bathroom, but Grandma wasn't having it. Finally, my aunt said " For Pete's sake, Mom, we'll be married in 4 hours. Give it up." I thought my grandmother was going to die of embarrassment, but my mom and her other 3 sisters thought it was hilarious. I was 5, and I just didn't get it at all, but I remember the story. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_caught-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a3b8edf-9feb-48c0-8157-384d3b9c2c3bPost:d8871064-ff86-4527-bc86-b6a6c877ddb1">Re: "Caught by the In-Laws"</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Caught by the In-Laws" : I had this with one of my ex's too. That day we had gone to a carnival then went out to a bar and I was beyond tipsy. We went back to watch a movie at his house fully intending to take me home around 1am (I was 20 so no curfew or anything, nm the drinking age...). We both ended up passing out on separate couches and woke up when his mom was cooking breakfast around 10am. I was definitely like ..."Hi Mrs. M, nice to meet you, I think I'll be going now..." as we slunk out of the house.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Yeah, the next time I came to visit, she was very excited to see me. I spent a lot of time at their house in high school.  I think she thought we might be seeing each other or something to that effect, and was happy about that. I have know idea who he was dragging through the house before that. 
    <div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_caught-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a3b8edf-9feb-48c0-8157-384d3b9c2c3bPost:01a6ef6f-12ba-44d5-abce-8357a318e34e">Re: "Caught by the In-Laws"</a>:
    [QUOTE]I also forgot that BF's grandparents lived right upstairs, and that he had quite a squeaky bed. I would always panic that his grandparents would come down and demand what all the noise was.
    Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

    This is our fear at my mom's. Every time you move, the headboard bangs up against the wall. We're always afraid that when we shift or whatever it will sound like we're having sex.

    DH was sitting on the bed once getting dressed and putting on his shoes (no idea why, it's just where he ended up) and was making the headboard hit the wall. My little brother was on the other side of the door and started yelling, "Why are you making all that noise? Are you doing something gross in there?" He was such a pest.
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    Ugh that's our bed at the family camp. It squeaks every time you roll over, and the mattress is over 50 years old and really uncomfortable so we roll over a lot. You can hear every little sound in the camp (like mil snoring, Z sniffling in her sleep) so I always want to be like "not having sex, just rolling over"
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    I haven't been caught by anyone. But have has my red face moments. I moved out of my parents house to move with FI over a year ago and my mom still wishes I lived at home. Well every time we are over their house drinking or over really late she always wants us to stay the night. Well one night she was a little buzzed and said " Why don't you just stay the night in your old room so you don't have to drive all the way home, it's ok we won't hear you guys if you want to have sex.Embarassed

    I will mention that we are a very open family and talking about sex normally doesn't bother anyone including FI who is just getting used to it but I almost died when she said that.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_caught-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a3b8edf-9feb-48c0-8157-384d3b9c2c3bPost:c9575f5e-fd1f-4f3b-aa04-86aed342c79d">Re: "Caught by the In-Laws"</a>:
    [QUOTE] I will mention that we are a very open family and talking about sex normally doesn't bother anyone including FI who is just getting used to it but I almost died when she said that.
    Posted by DodgersBride[/QUOTE]

    So is my family, but when it comes to her kids my mom wants nothing of it. It took DH some getting used to because we always make fun of each other and joke around a lot, especially my grandparents on my mom's side. The first time I took DH over to meet my grandpa he said to me, "You're looking skinny, what's your secret? Getting busy with the new man?" I laughed but DH looked like he wanted to crawl in a hole.

    My dad, on the other hand, has no problem bragging about his sex life. I know via FB every time he and his GF are watching porn. It's disturbing.
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    what does windy occupation mean?
    never heard of that one

    When I was at my FIL's house to visit the other day my FMIL was showing me my FI's baby/kid pictures. There was one of him when he's about 5 years old in the tub naked with nothing to hide. My FIL then asks me "does it still look the same? how's it working out for you?" My MIL and I both looked embarrased.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_caught-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4a3b8edf-9feb-48c0-8157-384d3b9c2c3bPost:1827916f-ba2a-4d1d-b10d-35b82f1b3883">Re: "Caught by the In-Laws"</a>:
    [QUOTE]what does windy occupation mean? never heard of that one [/QUOTE]

    Think of it more in synonyms.
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