Bridezilla cure before I become Bridezilla

wraith1288

I just got engaged in January 2010 and our wedding is December 17th 2011. I was wondering how brides are keeping wedding planning less stressful for themeselves and everyone else around them?

I really am scared that if something goes completely wrong and I might turn into bridezilla later on or even on the day of. I just want it to be a fun and less stressful experience. I don't want to become a bridezilla at all, even under so much pressure and scare everyone off.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

First - hitting "add post" just once is enough

Second - you have a year and a half until your wedding.  If something goes completely wrong you have time to fix it.  If you don't want to be a bridezilla, then um, don't be.

baystateapple

Don't listen to any "lists" of "bridesmaid/MOH/wedding party duties".  They're all BS.  All your WP has to do is show up looking good and sober for the ceremony.  That's all.  Helping you out with wedding-related crap and coming to pre-wedding parties is not an obligation and shouldn't be treated like it.

One thing that I've done that has really helped is planning every wedding-related thing I have to do for a month, do those things, and then stop myself before I start getting involved in stuff way too far in advance and driving myself insane.  Pace yourself.  You have over a year to do everything; there is plenty of time and no need to go crazy.

engutshall

Well, you're a year and a half out so you should be able to take care of everything early enough to not stress.  Once you make a decision, don't allow yourself to question it.  Go with your gut.  Come to SB if you feel like you are getting bride crazy (not a fan of the term bridezilla) and the girls here will help you relax and realize that the only things you need to get married are your FI, an officiant, and witnesses.  Everything else is just fluff. 

wraith1288

thanks for the advice- I watch the stupid bridezilla shows so thats why iv'e been worried about the wedding planning lol, and this is my first posting iv'e done

sarah0725

I'd avoid dancing naked under the full moon.

But really, it's not like you don't have a choice, and suddenly you're going to start sprouting scales and weird fur or something. Just keep in mind that your wedding doesn't give you license to treat people badly, and maintain your common sense. Also, picking up and reading an etiquette book or two never hurt anybody - I recommend Peggy Post.

lharri12

Try to keep it in perspective.  You're marrying your future husband, and it should be a happy occasion, not a stressful one.  Problems will probably arise along the way, so try to take things in stride.  It's just one day, and you want to enjoy it, rather than making a huge fuss over whether the napkins are the exact color you hoped they would be.  It's very important to keep in mind the fact that you're probably the only one who will notice these tiny details.

Blueyed228

Never utter the words "But its myyyyy dayyyy!" and you should be fine.

quotequeen

I am keeping it less stressful by simply not caring about a lot of stuff.  If it's not on the short list of things that are important to me, then I'm not worrying about it, and however it turns out will be fine.  Even if it is something that I care about, if whatever goes wrong doesn't prevent the wedding from going forward, then it's something we can laugh about later.  And if you're going to be able to laugh about something later, you might as well laugh about it now.

[Deleted User]

Ditto PP, but also, just respect everyone. It seems like a lot of brides get bent out of shape over the slightest thing and end up treating people like crap, which causes more stress. Remember these are your friends and family who love you and want the best, and treat them accordingly.

In other words, don't come back on here asking if you can kick out a BM because she isn't doing anything to help.

prideeinpynk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridezilla-cure-before-become-bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5716eb37-ddf3-47a8-89c5-0d18112ccd14Post:0744262f-621b-442a-850c-41d277332d5e">Re: Bridezilla cure before I become Bridezilla</a>:
[QUOTE]Try to keep it in perspective.  You're marrying your future husband, and it should be a happy occasion, not a stressful one.  Problems will probably arise along the way, so try to take things in stride.  It's just one day, and you want to enjoy it, rather than making a huge fuss over whether the napkins are the exact color you hoped they would be.  It's very important to keep in mind the fact that you're probably the only one who will notice these tiny details.
Posted by lharri12[/QUOTE]

This.

I try to keep all of this sort of thing in mind. We're 3 1/2 month to the wedding, have been planning almost a year and a half, and I've yet to have a melt down. Simply because I remember that the only thing that matters is that FI and I become husband and wife.

Don't expect things of people, either, and you won't be disappointed. I never ask my BMs or my mom to help me with things, I let them volunteer if they want. If they don't, oh well. It's my wedding so I only do things that I can handle on my own if need be. It's kept things simplier and easier on me.

angel2210

I found the easiest way to keep the stress down was by not involving other people in the planning process and by doing things one thing at a time rather than trying to get everything done all at once.

JudieN

Yup. I agree with the PPs. I have been engaged since November, wedding in December...and just taking it one step at a time. My epiphany moment was getting all stressed out about our save the dates (I can't bring myself to call them STDs) matching our invitations. My FI and brother-in-law made fun of me...at first I was pissed, then realized how silly it all was.  No matter what happens, I am marrying my FI in December and all the people we love will be there. That is all that matters -- the rest, I look at as a giant party to plan...and who doesn't love a party?  It really is all perspective...no one will be talking about the save the dates not matching the invites!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridezilla-cure-before-become-bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5716eb37-ddf3-47a8-89c5-0d18112ccd14Post:83e046cd-d8c3-4a64-b772-cb809f01f895">Re: Bridezilla cure before I become Bridezilla</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd avoid dancing naked under the full moon. But really, it's not like you don't have a choice, and suddenly you're going to start sprouting scales and weird fur or something. Just keep in mind that your wedding doesn't give you license to treat people badly, and maintain your common sense. Also, picking up and reading an etiquette book or two never hurt anybody - I recommend Peggy Post.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

Just pretend that I said all of this. Every word of it.